'  ■'»-■— 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

RIVERSIDE 


FROM  THE  LIBRARY 

OF 
DR.  J.  LLOYD  EATON 


THE  STATEMENT 
OF  STELLA   MABERLY 


Cbe  Statement  of  Stella  maberly 


ts  ts  ts 


ft 

By 
J.  flnstey 

Huthor  of  Uicc  Ucrsa,  tbe  Giant's  Robe,  tbe  Black  Poodle, 
tourmalin's  time  Cheques,  Etc. 


new  Vork 
D.  flppleton  and  Company 

1896 


Copyright,  1896, 
By  D.  APPLETON   AND  COMPANY. 


INTRODUCTION. 

I,  Stella  Maberly,  have  determined  to 
make  a  full  statement  of  all  the  circumstances 
in  my  life  which  led  me  to  commit  an  act 
that,  in  itself,  would  seem  a  crime  deserving 
of  nothing  but  condemnation. 

I  shall  write  it  rather  for  my  own  satisfac- 
tion than  that  of  others,  for  there  may  come  a 
time  when,  as  has  been  the  case  before,  my 
memory  grows  confused  and  I  begin  to  won- 
der whether,  after  all,  I  may  not  have  been 
mistaken,  and,  what  is  more  dreadful  still,  to 
doubt  whether  I  am  not  actually  as  guilty  as  I 
have  been  made  to  appear. 

So,  while  my  recollection  is  still  vivid  and 
clear,  I  am  going  to  put  everything  down  on 
paper  as  accurately  and  impartially  as  I  can,  so 
that  if,  in  the  future,  these  horrible  doubts 
should  again  assail  me,  I  shall  be  able,  simply 


vu 


viii    QTlje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls- 

by  reading  this  statement,  to  see  exactly  what 
I  did  and  the  reasons  I  had  for  doing  it. 

After  I  am  gone  I  should  like  others  to  read 
it  too.  Probably  very  few  will  believe  that 
what  I  am  writing  is  the  truth  ;  but  that  will 
not  matter  to  me  then,  and  even  already  I 
have  ceased  to  care  very  much  what  the 
world  outside  may  think. 

Still,  it  pleases  me  to  fancy  that,  perhaps 
here  and  there,  someone  who  knew  me  once 
will  read  this  and  believe  that  it  is  just  pos- 
sible that  poor  Stella  Maberly  was  more  to  be 
pitied  than  blamed. 

I  shall  begin  my  statement  with  some  ac- 
count of  my  childhood,  not  because  it  was 
eventful  or  interesting,  but  because,  without 
it,  much  that  followed  would  seem  less  intel- 
ligible and  excusable. 


THE  STATEMENT 
OF    STELLA    MABERLY. 


I. 

I  have  no  recollection  of  my  mother,  al- 
though she  did  not  die  until  I  was  nearly  four 
years  old.  She  and  my  father  separated  shortly 
after  I  was  born,  and  remained  apart  till  her 
death.  She  was  extremely  beautiful,  as  I 
know  from  a  portrait  that  exists  of  her,  but 
cursed,  I  believe,  with  so  violent  a  temper 
that  it  soon  became  impossible  to  live  with 
her.  When  or  how  she  died  I  don't  know, 
for  my  father  was  always  reserved  on  the 
subject,  even  when  I  was  old  enough  to  ask 
questions  about  her;  but  I  can  just  remember 
the  news  coming  that  she  was  dead,  and  my 
nurse  pulling  down  the  nursery  blinds  and 
telling  me  I  had  lost  my  poor  mamma  and 
should  have  to  wear  black  frocks. 


2       ®l)£  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberls. 


I  cried  bitterly,  not  because  1  understood 
my  loss  in  the  least,  but  because  I  hated  dark 
rooms  and  being  dressed  in  black. 

Within  a  year  my  father  married  again, 
and  was  much  happier  in  his  second  marriage 
than  I  fear  he  could  ever  have  been  in  his  first. 
My  stepmother  was  not  unkind;  I  think  she 
was  prepared  to  treat  me  with  as  much  affec- 
tion as  a  child  of  her  own,  if  I  had  responded 
at  all  to  her  advances.  But  she  did  not  under- 
stand me  ;  I  was  a  difficult  child  to  deal  with, 
possessed  as  I  was,  at  times,  by  twin  demons 
of  jealousy  and  sullenness,  which  made  me 
resist  all  her  endearments.  Possibly  I  was 
encouraged  in  this  antagonism  by  my  own 
nurse,  who  was  devoted  to  me,  and  resent- 
ed, as  such  servants  are  apt  to  do,  the  fact 
that  my  importance  was  diminished  by  my 
father  having  taken  a  new  wife,  and  by  the 
second  family  that  came  in  time. 

Between  my  half-brothers  and  sisters  and 
myself  their  mother  never  permitted  herself 
to  make  distinctions,  or,  if  she  did,  it  was  in 
my  favour,   for   she  treated   my  outbreaks  of 


Stje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.        3 

defiance  with  more  leniency  than  she  would 
probably  have  shown  to  them  had  they  ever 
been  capable  of  such  rebellious  rages  as  I  flew 
into  on  little  or  no  provocation,  so  violent  that 
they  left  me,  when  their  force  was  spent, 
weak  and  exhausted  for  hours  afterwards. 

Once  I  recall  my  father  saying,  half  to  him- 
self, and  with  a  suppressed  groan,  when,  as  a 
last  resource,  I  had  been  brought  before  him 
for  reproof,  "God  grant  she  may  not  grow  up 
like  her  mother!"  which  puzzled  me,  for  my 
mother  seemed  to  me,  from  her  picture,  very 
lovely.  I  know  now  that  he  was  thinking  of 
the  want  of  self-control  which  had  wrecked 
her  happiness  and  his. 

As  I  grew  older,  these  outbursts  became 
less  violent,  or  rather  took  the  form  of  sullen 
and  prolonged  silences,  during  which  I  re- 
jected all  overtures,  and  even  went  without 
food  for  hours  and  hours,  to  the  distress  and 
bewilderment  of  the  younger  children,  who 
were  too  sweet-natured  to  comprehend  an 
anger  which  lasted  so  long  after  its  occa- 
sion. 


4       9H)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg. 

And  yet,  in  the  very  worst  of  these  black 
moods  of  mine,  my  heart  was  secretly  aching 
to  own  myself  in  the  wrong  and  be  forgiven 
and  accept  the  love  I  knew  was  waiting  for 
me — but  I  could  not.  I  seemed  to  be  in  the 
grip  of  some  paralysing  force  which  would 
not  relax  by  any  effort  of  my  own  will, 
which  made  me  hard  and  cruel  in  spite  of 
myself. 

With  a  temperament  like  this,  it  might 
have  been  expected  that  I  should  grow  up 
a  sickly,  puny  little  creature,  as  unloved  as  I 
made  myself  unlovable — but  it  was  not  so.  I 
had  a  physique  too  strong  to  be  affected  by 
my  fits  of  passion  and  brooding;  I  was  healthy 
and  vigorous,  fond  of  exercise  and  open  air, 
with  mental  abilities  that,  when  I  chose  to  ex- 
ert them,  were  rather  above  than  below  the 
average.  And  when  my  demons  were  not 
aroused  I  was  a  natural,  bright,  impulsively 
demonstrative  child,  who  could  both  feel  and 
attract  affection. 

My  half-brothers  and  sisters  adored  me, 
and  were  my  admiring  little  slaves  as  long  as 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.        5 

I  chose  to  tyrannise  over  them;  the  servants 
would  do  more  for  me  than  for  any  of  the 
other  children ;  the  governesses  I  had — though 
I  made  their  lives  so  unendurable  that  not  one 
of  them  could  stand  the  strain  for  more  than  a 
few  months — even  they  broke  down  when 
they  had  to  leave,  and  confessed  that  they  felt 
the  parting  as  bitterly  as  if  I  had  been  the  best 
of  pupils.  I  daresay  they  went  away  thinking 
me  harder  and  more  heartless  than  ever,  as  I 
remained  passive  and  dry-eyed  throughout  the 
leave-taking ;  they  did  not  know — I  took  care 
that  no  one  should  know — that  when  my 
governess  had  driven  away  for  ever  I  would 
steal  up  into  a  box  room  at  the  top  of  the 
house  and  set  myself  to  recall  every  cruel  and 
insulting  speech  of  mine  to  her,  and  every  in- 
stance of  affection  and  forbearance  she  had 
shown  me  until  my  heart  swelled  with  con- 
trition, and  I  found  that  I,  too,  could  weep — 
when  weeping  was  of  no  use. 

And  yet — in  spite  of  all  my  good  resolu- 
tions— I  would  be  just  as  perverse  and  wilful 
and  unmanageable  to  the  next  governess  that 


6       8TI)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberla. 

undertook  to  instruct  me  as  to  her  prede- 
cessor. 

This  state  of  things  could  not  go  on ;  I  had 
wearied  out  any  affection  my  stepmother  ever 
felt  for  me,  and  she  was  afraid  of  the  example 
my  insubordination  might  set  to  her  own  chil- 
dren— or  so  she  persuaded  my  father — and  it 
was  decided  that  1  must  be  sent  away  to 
school. 

The  school  that  was  chosen  for  me  was  a 
fashionable  and  expensive  establishment  at  one 
of  the  best  known  seaside  towns.  It  was  ex- 
cellently conducted;  the  principal  was  an  able 
and  cultivated  woman,  who  took  a  real  inter- 
est in  the  mental  and  moral  training  of  every 
pupil.  She  was  a  firm  disciplinarian,  and  for 
the  first  time  I  found  myself  under  an  authority 
which  I  could  not  defy  with  impunity.  I  took 
some  pains  to  please  her,  and  in  time,  though 
I  often  vexed  and  disappointed  her,  she  came 
to  feel  a  certain  fondness  for  me. 

My  schoolfellows  all  belonged  to  the  well- 
born and  well-to-do  class,  and  received  me 
readily  enough  into  their  friendship;  they  were 


(Etje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.        7 

mostly  pleasant,  simple-minded  girls,  and 
there  were  few  of  them  I  actually  disliked, 
though  fewer  still  with  whom  I  was  really  in- 
timate. 

Still,  I  was  very  far  from  unpopular;  in  fact, 
I  soon  found  myself  the  unwilling  object  of  a 
sort  of  cult.  I  had  the  kind  of  irregular  beauty, 
the  cleverness  and  audacity  which  girls  ad- 
mire in  another,  and  I  had,  too,  the  crowning 
charm  of  uncertainty  and  caprice. 

Up  to  a  certain  age  girls  are  frequently 
great  heroine  worshippers,  and  whether  they 
transfer  their  idolatry  later  to  one  of  the  oppo- 
site sex  or  not,  it  is  always  rather  increased 
than  checked  by  being  trampled  upon.  They 
adored  me  none  the  less  for  being  disdainful 
and  imperious. 

I  am  afraid  I  took  a  morbid  pleasure  in 
wounding  or  quarreling  with  the  friends  I 
loved  best  for  the  mere  emotional  luxury  of 
feeling  miserable  and  alone  and  misunderstood, 
and  I  knew  that  they  would  always  be  only 
too  delighted  to  be  taken  back  into  my 
favour. 


8       etlje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls. 

Perhaps  all  this  may  sound  like  conceit  or 
arrogance — but  I  shall  let  it  stand.  I  am  far 
enough  from  feeling  even  a  retrospective  van- 
ity, and  such  attractions  as  I  possess,  or  may 
have  once  possessed,  have  brought  me  small 
satisfaction,  as  will  be  seen  before  I  reach  the 
conclusion  of  my  story. 

I  had  one  rival  in  the  school  who,  curiously 
enough  perhaps,  was  the  only  girl  there  for 
whom  I  felt  anything  like  deep  affection,  and 
whom,  characteristically,  I  treated  with  most 
unkindness.  Her  name  was  Evelyn  Heseltine; 
she  was  an  orphan  and  would,  it  was  vaguely 
understood,  be  immensely  wealthy  when  she 
came  of  age. 

She  was  utterly  unlike  me  in  every  respect; 
fair,  with  a  delicate,  spiritual  beauty  which 
corresponded  to  her  gentle  nature,  incapable 
of  an  ill-natured  speech  or  an  ungenerous 
thought.  It  was  a  favourite  device  of  my  ene- 
mies— for  I  need  scarcely  say  that  I  had  enemies 
— to  attempt  to  mortify  me  by  declaring  her  to 
be  by  far  the  loveliest  and  cleverest  girl  in 
the  school,  but  in   this  amiable   design  they 


QL\)c  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.        9 

failed,  for  even  I  could  not  be  jealous  of  Evelyn, 
perhaps  because  I  felt  that  my  superiority  was 
never  seriously  questioned. 

I  took  the  lead  in  all  our  amusements,  in  all 
our  innocent  scrapes  or  festivities ;  in  our  rid- 
ing-school parties  on  the  Downs  it  was  I  who 
was  always  given  the  most  spirited  mounts; 
in  the  class-rooms  Evelyn  had  slightly  the 
advantage,  but  she  was  naturally  the  more  in- 
dustrious, and,  even  at  work,  I  could  outshine 
her  whenever  I  chose  to  take  the  trouble. 

She  was  not  strong  enough  to  excel  in 
sports  or  games;  timid  and  sensitive,  but  with 
a  disposition  so  sweet  that  it  was  next  to  im- 
possible to  provoke  her  into  a  quarrel,  or  even 
a  retort,  which  often  exasperated  me  into  mak- 
ing cruel  experiments  upon  her  powers  of  for- 
bearance. She  had  too  much  character,  never- 
theless, to  be  charged  with  insipidity,  though 
even  her  strongest  supporters  confessed  that 
she  wanted  one  thing  to  be  absolutely  perfect 
— a  spice  of  the  devil. 

And,  even  when  I  was  most  cruel,  I  loved 
her  ;  I  felt  instinctively  that  hers  was  a  pure 


io     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iJlaberls. 

and  noble  influence,  and  I  had  the  grace  to 
be  proud  of  her  attachment  to  me,  though, 
with  my  old  self-tormenting  impulse,  I  trifled 
with  it  until  I  was  in  danger  of  losing  it 
altogether.  But  Evelyn  always  understood, 
and  bore  with  and  pitied  me  up  to  the 
very  end. 

I  do  not  know  how  other  women  may 
regard  their  school-days,  but  I  look  back  upon 
mine  as  the  happiest  part  of  a  life  which,  it  is 
true,  has  not  been  either  long  or  happy,  and 
I  was  sorry  rather  than  glad  when  they  came 
to  an  end  and  I  returned  home,  as  I  thought, 
for  good. 

For  a  while  after  I  had  "come  out"  and 
was  entitled  to  take  my  part  in  such  social 
events  as  were  provided  by  the  rather  dull 
Hampshire  neighbourhood  in  which  we  lived, 
I  found  existence  fairly  enjoyable.  People 
made  much  of  me,  and  seemed  glad  to  secure 
me  for  dinners  and  dances  and  garden-parties  ; 
my  father  was  proud  of  my  success,  and  in- 
dulged me  in  every  wish  ;  I  had  my  train  of 
admirers,  more  than  one  of  whom  did  me  the 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iftaberlg.      n 

honour  of  proposing  for  my  hand,  but  none  of 
them  touched  my  heart. 

They  were  the  ordinary,  well-groomed, 
sport-loving  young  Englishmen,  not  by  any 
means  intellectual,  and  who,  under  the  influ- 
ence of  sentiment,  seemed  more  stupid  than 
they  really  were.  I  found  them  only  a  degree 
less  wearisome  than  I  had  the  silliest  of  my 
school-girl  worshippers,  and  treated  them 
with  much  the  same  merciless  ridicule,  so 
that  I  soon  earned  a  reputation  in  the  county 
for  heartlessness. 

I  do  not  think  I  was  more  heartless  than 
any  other  girl  who  is  critical  and  fastidious, 
and  who  has  never  met  the  man  who  answers 
at  all  to  her  secret  ideal,  but  there  seemed  to 
me  something  at  once  absurd  and  irritating  in 
the  spectacle  of  a  passion  I  had  never  cared 
to  inspire,  and  could  not  return,  and  this  pre- 
vented me  from  feeling  or  showing  any  sign 
of  pity. 

Gradually,  almost  imperceptibly  at  first,  I 
became  aware  that  my  popularity  was  declin- 
ing.     I    found    chilly   greetings    and    hostile 


i2      ®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  JSlaberlg. 

looks  at  several  houses  where  I  had  once 
been  eagerly  welcomed.  I  was  made  to  feel, 
by  innumerable  indications,  slight  but  unmis- 
takable, that  I  had  given  offence  and  was 
out  of  favour.  This  distressed  me  very  lit- 
tle ;  I  had  soon  tired  of  the  neighbours 
around  us  and  was  glad  of  the  excuse  for 
indulging  my  growing  distaste  for  society. 
So  by  degrees  I  gave  up  going  out ;  lived 
almost  entirely  to  myself,  and  took  all  my 
rides  and  walks  alone,  and  in  directions 
where  I  was  least  likely  to  meet  acquaint- 
ances. This  passion  for  solitude  in  a  young 
woman  of  my  age  and  position  no  doubt 
seemed  unnatural,  and  formed  a  fruitful  sub- 
ject for  local  gossip — but  to  that  I  was  per- 
fectly indifferent. 

However,  it  served  to  make  my  home-life 
almost  unendurable,  for  my  stepmother,  as  I 
had  begun  to  see  of  late,  was  secretly  jealous 
of  the  preference  my  father  showed  for  me, 
and  the  change  in  my  habits  gave  her  a  pre- 
text for  coming  between  us  which  she  was 
not    likely    to    neglect.     I    was    forbidden   to 


®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  fttaberlg.      13 

ride  or  walk  without  an  escort,  as  though 
I  had  been  a  child,  and  my  half-brothers  and 
sisters  were  instructed  to  accompany  me  and 
act  as  spies,  which  I  need  not  say  destroyed 
any  vestige  of  affection  I  felt  towards  them. 

Now  that  he  could  no  longer  take  any 
pride  in  my  social  successes,  my  father  was 
easily  influenced  against  me  ;  he  expressed 
strong  disapproval  of  my  solitary  pursuits,  and 
attempted  to  force  me  to  go  into  society  as  I 
used  to  do,  for  he  insisted  that  the  slights 
and  rebuffs  which  made  the  effort  so  impos- 
sible to  me  were  exaggerated,  if  not  purely 
fanciful — as  if  my  powers  of  perception  were 
not  likely  to  be  keener  than  his  in  matters 
which  concerned  me  so  closely. 

I  yielded  to  his  wishes  to  some  extent, 
only  to  encounter  further  mortifications,  which 
cut  me  to  the  quick,  though  pride  forbade  me 
to  betray  it.  I  grew  more  and  more  unhappy 
and  restless,  and  should  have  been  utterly 
miserable  if  I  had  not  found  some  distraction 
in  writing. 

I  had  always   had   an   ambition  to  be  an 


14     QL\)c  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg. 

author,  and  I  wrote  one  or  two  short  stones 
with  a  facility  and  fluency  that  gave  me  the 
hope  of  having  found  my  vocation  in  life. 

The  hope  proved  delusive  ;  my  manu- 
scripts returned  to  me  again  and  again  ;  some 
editors  admitted  that  they  showed  some  fancy 
and  imagination,  but  were  too  crude  and  in- 
experienced to  be  worthy  of  acceptance.  I 
fluns  them  into  the  fire  at  last  in  a  fit  of  tern- 
per,  and  sullenly  recognised  that,  though  I 
might  be  at  least  as  well-educated  and  original 
as  some  of  the  women-writers  who  have 
sprung  into  popularity,  literary  distinction  was 
not  for  me.  I  might  persevere,  of  course,  but 
the  glow  and  the  confidence  had  departed  ;  it 
did  not  seem  worth  while  to  court  any  further 
failures. 

And  then  something  happened  which 
turned  my  thoughts  into  a  different  channel 
altogether.  One  day  my  stepmother  sent 
for  me  to  her  boudoir  and  told  me  that  my 
father  had  just  received  news  of  the  failure  of 
a  bank  in  Australia  in  which  he  was  a  large 
shareholder.     What  his  liabilities  were  exactly 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls.      15 

he  did  not  know  as  yet,  but  the  greatest  econ- 
omy would  be  necessary  if  we  were  even  to 
go  on  living  in  our  present  home  ;  the  horses 
and  carriages  must  be  sold,  and  we  must  all 
learn  to  do  without  the  luxuries  we  had  been 
accustomed  to. 

She  ended  by  suggesting  that  I  should 
rouse  myself  from  what  she  was  pleased  to 
call  my  "selfish  isolation,"  and  make  some 
return  for  the  expensive  education  I  had  been 
given,  by  helping  to  teach  my  youngest  sister 
and  saving  the  cost  of  a  governess. 

All  this  was  said  with  an  insidious  show 
of  affection  which  did  not  deceive  me  in  the 
least.  I  knew  perfectly  well  that  she  hoped 
to  provoke  me  into  some  protest  against  such 
humiliation  as  the  position  of  unpaid  drudge 
in  my  own  father's  household.  I  saw,  too, 
that,  even  if  I  accepted  the  task,  she  would 
take  care  that  I  did  not  succeed  in  it — she 
meant  to  drive  me  out  of  my  home,  and  out 
of  my  father's  heart  as  well,  if  she  could. 

So  I  answered  that  I  quite  understood  that 
I  was  an  encumbrance  to  them  all,  and  that  I 


i6     (pe  Statement  of  Stella  ftlaberlB. 


ought  in  future  to  support  myself ;  but  as  to 
doing  so  by  the  means  she  suggested,  she 
must  be  aware  that  the  relations  between  her 
children  and  myself  put  that  quite  out  of  the 
question,  as  she  herself  had  completely  de- 
stroyed any  influence  I  might  once  have  had 
over  them. 

And  with  that  I  left  her  and  wrote  at  once 
to  my  old  schoolmistress,  recalling  myself  to 
her,  explaining  that  I  found  myself  compelled 
by  family  circumstances  to  go  out  into  the 
world  and  earn  my  bread,  and  asking  her  if 
she  knew  anyone  to  whom  she  could  recom- 
mend me  as  a  governess. 

I  had  art  answer  within  two  days.  The 
letter  began  by  an  assurance  that  the  writer 
remembered  me  perfectly,  and  was  sorry  to 
hear  of  the  change  in  my  prospects.  From 
what  she  recollected  of  my  temperament  a 
few  years  ago,  she  doubted  whether  I  was 
fitted  for  so  trying  a  life  as  a  governess's — but 
it  so  happened  that  a  pleasanter  and  easier 
position  might  possibly  be  obtained  if  I  cared 
to  apply  for  it.. 


®l)£  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.      17 

The  day  before  my  letter  arrived  she  had 
had  a  visit  from  a  former  pupil  of  hers  and  old 
school-fellow  of  mine,  Evelyn  Heseltine,  who 
had  just  returned  to  England  after  having  been 
abroad  for  her  health  during  the  past  few 
years.  She  was  now  recovered  and  intended 
to  occupy  a  house  in  Surrey  that  belonged  to 
her,  and  had  mentioned  her  desire  to  find  a 
companion  of  about  her  own  age  who  would 
come  and  live  with  her  there.  Evelyn  had 
asked  most  affectionately  after  me,  and  the 
writer  felt  sure  that  she  would  be  overjoyed 
at  securing  the  companionship  of  her  old  friend 
and  school-fellow  if  possible. 

I  had  seen  nothing  of  Evelyn  since  our 
school-days,  though  we  had  corresponded  for 
a  time.  After  she  went  abroad  our  letters  had 
gradually  ceased,  and  I  had  almost  forgotten 
her  existence  till  the  letter  reminded  me  of  it. 
Now  all  the  old  times  came  back  with  a  rush; 
I  remembered  Evelyn's  goodness  and  sweet- 
ness, and  felt  a  great  longing  to  see  her  again. 
She  used  to  care  for  me — perhaps  cared  for  me 
still — and  1  felt  so  alone  and  unloved  at  home. 


iS     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  jnaberlp. 


It  seemed  almost  too  good  to  be  true  that 
she  and  I  might  really  be  together  again,  that  I 
should  leave  the  jangle  and  worry  of  home 
life,  not  for  slavery  amongst  strangers,  but  a 
quiet  and  peaceful  existence  with  the  dearest 
friend  I  had  ever  had — the  one  friend  I  had  left 
in  the  whole  world  now. 

I  wrote  to  Evelyn  that  night,  as  the  princi- 
pal had  given  me  her  address  in  Surrey,  and 
shortly  after  received  an  enthusiastic  reply. 
Nothing  could  be  more  fortunate,  I  was  the 
very  person  she  would  have  most  wished  for, 
I  was  to  come  as  soon  as  possible,  and  she 
would  do  everything  she  could  to  make  me 
happy. 

So  I  was  able  to  forestall  my  stepmother's 
intentions,  and  leave  home  of  my  own  free 
will;  not  without  some  opposition  from  my 
father,  it  is  true,  though  he  gave  way  when  he 
saw  that  I  was  determined  to  carry  my  point. 
And  here  I  will  stop  for  the  present,  having 
arrived  at  the  stage  where  my  story  may  really 
be  said  to  begin. 


II. 


The  day  arrived  on  which  I  was  to  enter 
upon  my  new  life,  and,  during  the  tedious 
cross-country  journey  from  my  Hampshire 
home  to  the  little  village  near  the  border  of 
Kent  and  Surrey  that  was  my  destination,  I  had 
ample  time  for  misgivings. 

Should  I  find  Evelyn  Heseltine  the  same  as 
she  was  four  years  ago  ?  Would  she  be  quite 
unspoilt  by  wealth,  quite  unaffected  by  the  re- 
lations of  patroness  and  dependent  that  were 
now  to  exist  between  us  ?  True,  I  could  de- 
tect no  shade  of  patronage  in  her  letter,  but 
she  might  betray  it  in  her  manner,  notwith- 
standing. 

She  had  arranged  to  meet  me  at  the  station, 
and  any  doubts  I  had  were  dispelled  the  mo- 
ment I  had  alighted  on  the  whinstone  platform 
and  saw  her  coming  eagerly  towards  me. 

19 


20     ®lje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

I  can  see  her  still;  tall  and  slender  in  the 
fawn-coloured  serge,  pale  pink  blouse,  and 
small  sailor  hat,  which  were  being  worn  that 
season ;  her  soft  hazel  eyes  shining  with  pleas- 
ure and  welcome,  her  cheeks  flushed  with  a 
delicate  rose,  and  her  bright  hair  slightly  ruffled 
by  the  May  breeze. 

Yes,  she  was  unchanged,  except  that  her 
former  air  of  diffidence  and  timidity  had  been 
replaced  by  the  ease  and  self-possession  which 
a  few  years'  experience  of  the  world  will  give 
to  the  most  unassuming.  Even  before  she 
spoke  my  name  with  glad  recognition,  and  our 
hands  met,  I  knew  that  she  loved  me  as  dearly 
as  ever,  and  the  joy  and  relief  I  felt  almost  pre- 
vented me  from  speaking. 

We  were  soon  seated  in  the  carriage  with 
the  pair  of  smart  ponies  which  Evelyn  drove 
herself,  and  as  she  had  told  the  groom  to  fol- 
low behind  with  the  luggage-cart,  we  were 
able  to  talk  freely. 

"  It's  so  delightful  to  have  you  here, 
Stella,"  she  said  as  soon  as  the  ponies  required 
less  of  her  attention;  "and  you  are  so  exactly 


©l)c  Statement  of  Stella  JHaberls-      21 

what  I  hoped  you  would  be,  only  even  more 
— but  I  forgot,  you  always  hated  to  be  told 
about  your  looks,  didn't  you  ?  " 

"  Did  I  ?"  I  said.  "At  all  events,  I'm  glad 
you  approve  of  me;  and  if  we  must  talk  about 
one  another's  appearance,  you  are  looking 
wonderfully  well,  Evelyn,  far  stronger  than 
ever  you  promised  to  be.  I  was  afraid,  from 
Mrs.  Chichester's  letter,  that  you  were  still 
delicate." 

"  I  feel  perfectly  well  just  now,"  she  an- 
swered ;  "there  was  nothing  seriously  the  mat- 
ter with  me,  only  the  doctors  said  I  had  a  weak 
heart.  I  suppose  I  outgrew  my  strength  at 
school ;  at  all  events,  they  said  I  ought  to  live 
abroad  for  a  time  and  avoid  worry  and  excite- 
ment. I  should  have  come  home  long  ago,  only 
I  liked  the  life  in  Italy  so;  and  no  one  can  accuse 
existence  here  of  being  dangerously  exciting — 
I'm  only  afraid  you  will  find  it  dull." 

I  protested  with  perfect  sincerity  that  I 
should  be  quite  contented  if  I  never  saw  a 
strange  face,  and  that  I  wanted  no  society  but 
hers. 


22      ®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg. 

"It's  not  quite  so  bad  as  that!"  she  ex- 
claimed, laughing.  "My  aunt,  Mrs.  Mait- 
land,  is  living  at  Tansted  with  us.  We  must 
have  a  chaperon  of  some  sort;  and,  of  course, 
there  are  people  about  who  seem  pleasant  and 
friendly,  and  we  shall  have  to  see  something 
of  them.  And  the  country  is  perfectly  lovely; 
you  and  I  will  ride  and  drive  every  day  when 
it's  fine,  and  if  we  have  to  stay  indoors  we 
shall  find  plenty  of  things  to  do — music  and 
books  and  work.  You  must  try  not  to  be 
bored  while  you  are  with  me,  though  I'm 
afraid  I  sha'n't  keep  you  very  long.'' 

"  If  it  depends  on  me,"  I  said,  "  I  am  not 
at  all  likely  to  wish  to  leave  you.  Why  do 
you  think  I  should  ?  " 

"Oh,  because — "  she  replied,  "because, 
of  course,  I  shall  have  to  give  you  up  to  some- 
body sooner  or  later,  Stella.  You  are  much 
too  beautiful  not  to  be  fallen  in  love  with. 
Perhaps,  even  now,  there  is  someone  who — 
you  won't  mind  telling  me  if  there  is,  and 
then,  when  the  time  does  come,  I  shall  feel 
more  prepared." 


®f)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlj).      23 

"There  is  nobody,"  I  said.  "  I  have  had 
one  or  two  offers  of  marriage,  but  I  never  cared 
enough  for  any  man  yet  to  give  up  my  life  to 
him,  and  I  don't  believe  I  ever  shall." 

"Your  heart  will  be  touched  someday," 
said  Evelyn.  "Then  you  will  speak  differ- 
ently." 

"I  doubt  it,"  I  replied.  "I  don't  think 
my  heart  is  capable  of  that  kind  of  sentiment. 
Some  women  are  born  with  no  vocation  for 
marriage,  and  I  believe  I  am  one  of  them. 
And  really,"  I  added,  "  if  we  are  to  be  sepa- 
rated by  one  of  us  marrying,  /  am  hardly  the 
most  likely  person  to  be  chosen." 

"  Indeed,  you  are  wrong,  Stella,  if  you 
mean  that  it  is  I,"  said  Evelyn.  "  I  made  up 
my  mind  before  I  came  home — when  we  were 
in  Italy — that  I  would  never  think  of  marrying 
unless  I  was  sure — of  what  I  never  can  be  per- 
fectly certain  of  now.  But  how  silly  of  us  to 
be  anticipating  parting  when  we  have  only 
just  met!  It  seems  so  wonderful  our  coming 
together  like  this,  Stella.  It  was  the  merest 
accident  that  I  told  dear  old  Mrs.  Chichester 


24     (El)*  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls- 

about  my  wanting  to  find  somebody  about  my 
own  age  to  come  and  live  with  me.  I  hardly 
expected  she  would  know  of  any  one.  And 
if  I  had,  I  never  dreamed  for  a  moment  that 
you  of  all  people  in  the  world " 

"Would  have  been  obliged  to  try  to  earn 
my  own  living,"  I  said,  as  she  left  the  sentence 
uncompleted,  "/thought  it  unlikely  enough 
once.  But  my  father  lost  most  of  his  money, 
and  my  stepmother  made  me  so  miserable  at 
home — I  had  no  choice." 

"You  poor  Stella!"  exclaimed  Evelyn, 
tenderly.  "What  a  trial  it  must  have  been 
for  you!  But  you  don't  mind  now  you  have 
come  to  me,  do  you  ?  It  isn't  as  if  you  were 
with  strangers.  Tansted  is  to  be  your  real 
home  now,  as  long  as  ever  you  care  to  make 
it  so." 

And  my  heart  grew  lighter  and  lighter  as 
we  drove  on  through  the  pretty  Surrey  land- 
scape, under  the  horse  chestnut  trees  with 
their  tossing,  creamy  plumes,  past  cottage 
gardens  and  orchards  where  the  fruit  trees 
spread  their  branches,  laden  with  rose-flushed 


®!)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlj).      25 

snow,  against  the  pure  blue  of  the  sky,  and 
the  air  was  sweet  with  hawthorn  and  the  fra- 
grant gums  of  pines  and  larches. 

Presently  we  turned  off  the  road,  through 
a  gateway  and  under  an  ivy-covered  arch, 
after  which  I  saw  my  future  home  for  the  first 
time.  Tansted  House  was  a  delightful  old 
Tudor  or  Caroline  mansion — I  forget  which — 
with  barge-boarded  gables  and  herring-bone 
brickwork  filling  up  the  spaces  of  the  half- 
timbered  upper  story,  which  projected  and 
was  supported  by  carved  corbels.  It  was  not 
large — even  with  the  additions  that  had  been 
built  some  time  in  this  century.  I  had  a 
glimpse,  as  I  entered,  of  long,  low-ceilinged 
rooms  with  spacious  latticed  windows,  an  im- 
pression of  old-world  pot-pourri,  mingled 
with  the  delicate  scent  of  azaleas  and  the  fresh- 
ness of  garden  flowers,  and  then  Evelyn  took 
me  up  at  once  to  a  pretty  chintz-hung  bed- 
room opposite  her  own. 

"This  is  to  be  your  room,  Stella,"  she 
said.  "I  do  so  hope  you  will  like  it.  I  want 
you  so  much  to  feel  comfortable  and  at  home 


26     ®l)£  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlp.. 

here."  And  she  left  me  to  rest  after  the  jour- 
ney, with  an  affectionate  embrace  and  re- 
peated assurances  of  her  delight  in  having  me 
with  her. 

After  she  had  gone  I  went  to  the  win- 
dow and  stood  looking  out  on  the  velvet 
lawn  below,  with  the  fine  old  cedar,  ringed 
by  a  circular  seat  of  faded  blue ;  from  the  tiled 
roof  over  my  head  came  the  sleepy  crooning 
and  "  roo-coo-hooing "  of  pigeons;  in  the 
garden,  beyond  the  lawn,  a  whip-lash  foun- 
tain pattered  and  tinkled  musically  as  the 
breeze  drove  its  spray  this  way  and  that. 

It  was  all  so  restful  and  sweet,  such  a 
haven  of  refuge  for  my  wounded  and  troubled 
mind.  It  filled  me  with  a  great  peace,  a 
soothing  sense  of  security.  Here,  at  least,  the 
black  moods  of  depression  and  sullenness 
would  have  no  power  over  me,  no  hateful 
suspicions  could  find  lodgment  now  I  had 
shaken  off  the  demons  which  had  made  my 
life  a  burden.  With  such  a  home  and  such 
a  friend,  how  could  even  I  be  anything  but 
happy  ? 


©tje  Statement  of  Stella  JHaberlg.      27 

I  should  have  been  insensible  indeed  if  I 
had  been  unmoved  by  this,  and  if  my  heart 
had  not  been  lifted  up  just  then  by  a  passion 
of  love  and  gratitude  towards  her  to  whom  I 
owed  so  much  more  than  I  could  ever  repay. 
I  would,  I  vowed  to  myself,  be  worthy  of  her 
goodness.  By  no  act  or  word  of  mine  would 
I  ever  grieve  that  gentle  nature.  No  friend 
Evelyn  might  have  chosen  could  be  more 
loyal  and  devoted  than  I  would  prove  myself. 

Not  a  difficult  resolve  to  make  or  keep  for 
anyone  of  ordinary  good  feeling,  it  will  be 
thought.  And  yet  I  was  destined  to  find  it 
hard  enough,  as  those  who  have  sufficient 
patience  to  follow  my  unhappy  story  will  dis- 
cover before  very  long. 

Sometimes  I  wonder  whether,  by  any 
effort  of  mine,  I  could  have  overcome  my 
nature  altogether  for  long,  and  how  far  our 
thoughts  and  feelings  really  are  within  our 
own  control,  as  we  are  so  often  told  they  are. 
I  only  know  that  these  good  intentions  of 
mine  were  absolutely  sincere  at  the  time,  and 
indeed  I  honestly  believe  that  I  carried  them 


28     ©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  iJlaberlg. 

out  as  faithfully  as  was  possible  to  such  a  tem- 
perament as  mine.  Perhaps,  if  things  had 
only  happened  differently,  I  should  never — 
but  it  is  idle  to  speculate  on  what  might  have 
been,  and  I  must  return  to  actual  facts. 

When  I  went  downstairs  again,  I  was  pre- 
sented to  Mrs.  Maitland,  the  aunt  of  whom 
Evelyn  had  spoken.  She  was  a  widow  of 
about  fifty,  pleasant  to  look  upon,  with  a 
manner  which,  though  kindly  and  amiable, 
was  somewhat  fussy  and  over-anxious,  and, 
as  I  soon  discovered,  without  an  idea  that  was 
not  absolutely  safe  and  commonplace. 

I  might  have  expected  that  she  would  look 
upon  me  as  a  rival  and  treat  me  with  a  certain 
reserve,  if  not  with  suppressed  hostility,  but 
her  greeting  was  as  cordial  as  it  was  obviously 
sincere. 

"  So  nice  for  dear  Evelyn  to  have  someone 
of  her  own  age  about  her,  my  dear  Miss  Ma- 
berly !  "  she  remarked.  "  I'm  sure  I  often  felt, 
while  we  were  abroad  together,  what  a  poor 
companion  I  was,  for  I'm  too  old  and  stupid 
to  take  the  interest  she  does  in  things;  in  my 


ffilje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlj).      29 

young  days  girls  weren't  as  highly  educated 
as  they  are  now,  and  I  never  was  clever.  And 
now  we're  at  Tansted,  there's  so  much  that  I 
have  to  see  to  that  my  time  is  almost  entirely 
taken  up.  But  it  won't  be  dull  for  her  any 
longer  now  you  have  come.  Ah,  Evelyn,  my 
love,  you  may  say  what  you  like — I  know 
very  well  you  did  find  it  dull;  it  was  only 
natural  you  should,  and  it's  a  great  comfort  to 
my  mind  to  think  it  won't  be  so  any  longer. 
I  shall  be  able  to  attend  to  everything  properly 
without  feeling  uncomfortable  about  leaving 
you  alone." 

And  the  good-natured  gentlewoman  proved 
perfectly  content  to  act  as  a  kind  of  superior 
housekeeper  when  her  services  were  not 
needed  as  chaperon,  so  that,  for  the  earlier 
part  of  the  day,  at  all  events,  Evelyn  and  I 
were  left  to  the  undisturbed  enjoyment  of  each 
other's  society. 

In  spite  of  what  I  have  previously  said 
about  my  school-days,  I  am  not  sure  that 
those  first  few  weeks  at  Tansted  were  not, 
after  all,  the  most  uninterruptedly  happy  period 


30     Qtt)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg. 

of  my  life.  Evelyn  grew  dearer  to  me,  and 
the  sympathy  and  understanding  between  us 
more  perfect  with  every  hour  we  spent  to- 
gether. Even  if  I  had  never  known  her  be- 
fore, I  could  not  have  been  so  constantly  with 
her  without  learning  to  love  her  now,  and  I 
was  proud  and  glad  to  feel  that  she  was  as 
attached  to  me  as  I  to  her. 

The  days  passed  quietly  and  uneventfully 
enough,  but  they  never  seemed  long  or  mo- 
notonous. Evelyn  was  occupied  with  various 
charitable  undertakings  in  the  village,  in  which 
I  rendered  her  what  assistance  I  could;  we 
took  up  some  of  our  former  studies  again,  and 
read  and  practised  and  sketched  with  a  pleas- 
ant sense  of  our  own  virtue;  there  were  de- 
lightful rides  together,  through  leafy  lanes  and 
over  wild  heaths  and  commons,  and  long  in- 
timate talks,  over  old  school  memories,  as  we 
sat  under  the  trees  on  the  lawn  of  an  after- 
noon, or  paced  the  garden  paths  in  the  grow- 
ing dusk. 

My  spirits  recovered  their  tone  in  this 
wholesome,   peaceful   atmosphere.      I   should 


(Elje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.      31 


have  been  perfectly  happy  with  Evelyn  as  my 
sole  companion,  but  of  course  we  could  not 
remain  in  absolute  seclusion,  and  my  former 
morbid  dislike  to  meeting  people  seemed  to 
have  almost  disappeared,  as  I  found,  when  I 
went  with  Evelyn  to  local  gatherings,  that  I 
encountered  none  of  the  slights  and  coldnesses 
which  had  made  me  shrink  from  such  ordeals 
in  my  own  set  at  home. 

All  this  I  owed  to  Evelyn ;  she  had  made 
life  seem  fair  and  hopeful  once  more — and  it 
would  never  be  clouded  again  while  she  was 
with  me,  as,  of  course,  she  always  would  be 
now.  Whether  we  lived  on  together  all  the 
years  to  come  in  this  sweet  old  country  home, 
or  spent  part  of  the  time  travelling  abroad, 
was  perfectly  indifferent  to  me,  so  long  as  I 
had  her  by  my  side. 

At  times  I  fancied  that  she  looked  more 
fragile  and  delicate  than  when  I  first  arrived, 
and  seemed  less  and  less  inclined  for  exertion, 
but  the  excessive  heat  of  that  year's  June  was 
quite  enough  to  account  for  it,  and  I  felt  no 
real   uneasiness   about   her  health,   especially 


32     ©l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

as  she  always  declared  she  was  perfectly 
well. 

And,  as  it  happened,  when  the  day  came 
which  first  shook  my  blind  confidence  in  the 
future  and  revealed  the  Fool's  Paradise  in 
which  I  was  living,  the  incident — if  I  may  call 
so  slight  a  thing  an  incident — that  brought  this 
about  had  nothing  to  do  with  the  state  of 
Evelyn's  health. 

It  happened  late  one  afternoon;  we  were 
to  have  gone  to  a  garden-party  at  the  Hall, 
but  Evelyn  had  not  felt  equal  to  it  at  the  last 
moment,  and  as  I  was  not  disposed  to  shelter 
myself  under  her  aunt's  too  fluttering  wing,  I 
preferred  to  stay  at  home  too,  and  leave  Mrs. 
Maitland  to  go  alone  and  make  our  excuses. 

We  were  still  sitting  on  the  lawn,  though 
the  first  dinner-bell  had  rung,  when  the  car- 
riage returned  with  Mrs.  Maitland,  who  joined 
us  with  a  little  air  of  suppressed  importance. 

"Such  a  pleasant  party,  Evelyn,"  she  be- 
gan; "though  almost  too  hot  to  move  about. 
The  Holliers  were  so  disappointed  not  to  see 
you — they  sent  the  kindest   messages.     And 


&I)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.      33 

really,  I'm  quite  glad  I  went,  for  I've  got  a 
piece  of  news  that  I  think  you'll  be  pleased 
to  hear.  Whom  do  you  think  I  met  there? 
You'll  never  guess.  That  nice  Mr.  Dallas  we 
saw  so  much  of  at  Florence.  And  just  fancy, 
he  has  a  place  only  a  few  miles  from  here — 
Laleham  Court.     Did  you  know  that  ?  " 

"Mr.    Dallas!"    exclaimed    Evelyn,    with 

1 

more  animation  than  she  had  shown  all  day. 
"No,  Aunt  Lucy,  I'd  no  idea  of  it.  I  never 
thought  of  him,  somehow,  as  having  any  fixed 
home.  How  strange  that  you  should  have 
met  him  again  like  this!  " 

"My  dear,  we  live  in  a  small  world  after 
all,"  said  Mrs.  Maitland,  with  an  evident  sense 
of  her  own  aphoristic  originality.  "/  quite 
expected  we  should  come  across  him  again 
sooner  or  later.  And  he  is  most  anxious  to 
meet  you  again,  my  dear.  I  thought  I  might 
tell  him  that  you  would  be  charmed  to  see 
him,  and  he  is  going  to  ride  over  some  after- 
noon soon.  I  hope  I  did  right,  Evelyn.  You 
will  be  glad  to  see  him,  won't  you  ?  " 

"  Very,"  said  Evelyn,  softly.     "  I  liked  Mr. 


34     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberig. 

Dallas.  I  hope  he  will  come.  I  want  you  to 
meet  him,  Stella,"  she  added,  turning  to  me. 
"I  know  you  have  rather  a  contempt  for 
young  men  in  general,  but  I  think  you  will 
admit  that  he  is  an  exception." 

She  spoke  naturally  enough,  but  there  was 
a  tender  light  in  her  eyes,  and  a  slight  increase 
of  colour  in  her  cheeks  that  made  my  heart 
sink.  Why  was  she  so  anxious  to  prejudice 
me  in  this  man's  favour  ?  Why  did  she  look 
at  me  in  that  wistful,  almost  pleading  way, 
unless  she  wished  to  prepare  me  for  some- 
thing that  might,  that  she  hoped  would, 
happen  ? 

Evelyn  went  indoors  shortly  after,  and 
Mrs.  Maitland  and  I  were  left  together,  when 
the  suspicions  I  had  already  formed  were  more 
than  confirmed. 

"Has  dear  Evelyn  ever  happened  to  men- 
tion this  Mr.  Dallas  to  you?"  she  asked. 
"No?  how  very  curious — I  should  have 
thought — but  she  is  strangely  reserved  about 
some  things.  And  really,  I  think  she  seemed 
pleased  at  the  idea  of  meeting  him,  don't  you  ? 


Slje  Statement  of  Stella  fttaberlg.      35 

Strictly  between  ourselves,  Miss  Maberly,  I 
have  a  strong  impression — indeed,  when  we 
were  at  Florence  I  felt  almost  sure  that  on  both 
sides — but  though  he  was  so  much  with  us, 
there  was  hardly  time  for  it  to  develop  into — 
Still,  now  he  is  actually  in  the  same  neighbour- 
hood, it  does  seem  quite  possible  that — though 
of  course  it's  too  soon  to  speak  as  yet.  It  would 
be  such  a  good  thing.  He's  a  great  favourite 
of  mine,  most  charming,  and  very  well  off.  I 
hear  Laleham  Court  is  quite  one  of  the  show- 
places  here.  Everyone  seems  to  think  so 
much  of  him,  too.  Exactly  the  kind  of  man 
I  should  wish  to  see  dearest  Evelyn  mar- 
ried to!" 

These  incoherent  confidences  were  poured 
out  on  our  way  to  the  house,  and  I  was  soon 
able  to  escape  to  my  room,  and  think  over  all 
they  portended. 

I  felt  almost  stunned  at  first  ;  it  may  seem 
strange,  but  the  possibility  of  Evelyn's  marry- 
ing some  day  had  never  struck  me  as  any- 
thing but  remote,  since  we  had  been  asso- 
ciated. 


36     (Elje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

I  had  suggested  it  the  first  afternoon  while 
we  were  driving  from  the  station,  and  she  had 
repudiated  any  intention  of  marriage  with  a 
sincerity  which  would  have  reassured  me 
subsequently  had  it  occurred  to  me  to  feel 
any  serious  alarm. 

But  it  did  not,  partly  because  Evelyn's 
nature  seemed  too  spiritual  somehow  to  be 
associated  with  earthly  passion,  partly  because 
she  had  wound  herself  so  closely  round  my 
heart  that  I  instinctively  shrank  from  the  mere 
thought  of  losing  her  in  such  a  way. 

Now  for  the  first  time  I  had  to  face  the 
fact  that  this  was  not  only  merely  possible, 
but  probable.  I  remember  now  that,  even 
when  she  declared  that  she  had  decided 
never  to  marry,  she  had  done  so  with  a 
reservation  to  which  her  aunt  had  just  given 
me  the  clue. 

Evidently  this  Mr.  Dallas  had  made  no 
ordinary  impression  upon  Evelyn,  though  for 
some  reason  he  had  gone  away  without  de- 
claring himself  ;  she  had  believed  him  indiffer- 
ent,   and    that    they   were   unlikely   to   meet 


She  Statement  of  Btdla  fttaberis.      37 

again,  but  she  had  always  had  the  faint  hope 
that  she  might  be  mistaken,  and  this  was  the 
contingency  which  might  make  her  reconsider 
her  resolve  to  remain  unmarried. 

How  I  constructed  all  this  out  of  so  little 
I  can  hardly  say,  but  I  knew  it  as  certainly  as 
if  she  had  told  me  so  in  words,  and  foresaw 
the  almost  inevitable  future. 

This  man  would  appear  sooner  or  later  ; 
the  sight  of  Evelyn  would  revive  his  interest 
in  her,  if  it  had  ever  faded  ;  their  intimacy 
would  be  taken  up  again  at  the  stage  at 
which  it  had  been  interrupted,  and,  step 
by  step,  he  would  usurp  my  place  in  Eve- 
lyn's heart.  I  should  have  no  right  to  com- 
plain ;  it  would  only  be  natural  that  she 
should  put  her  lover  before  her  friend.  No 
doubt  she  would  assure  me  that  even  mar- 
riage would  make  no  difference  in  her  affec- 
tion for  me,  that,  next  to  her  husband,  I 
should  always  be  dearest  in  the  world  to  her 
— but,  even  if  this  were  true,  it  would  not 
satisfy  me.  I  could  not  be  content  now  with 
any  place  but  the   first,  and  I   already  hated 


38     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberla- 


this    unknown    Prince    Charming    who   was 
coming  to  thrust  me  into  the  background. 

I  felt  a  dull  resentment  against  Evelyn,  too, 
which  was  all  the  deeper  because,  at  the  bot- 
tom of  my  heart,  I  knew  it  was  unreasonable. 
She  might,  I  thought,  have  been  more  open 
with  me  ;  I  had  believed  there  were  no  secrets 
between  us — and  all  the  time  she  had  kept 
this  passage  in  her  life  to  herself.  I  had  a 
right  to  feel  hurt  and  angry,  but  I  would  not 
let  her  see  how  sorely  I  was  wounded  ;  I 
would  not  condescend  to  a  word  of  reproach, 
or  any  sign  that  I  foresaw  how  speedily  I 
should  be  abandoned.  If  she  could  be  re- 
served, I  would  be  still  more  so.  And,  be- 
sides, it  was  only  prudent  to  steel  my  heart 
against  her  for  the  future,  so  as  to  be  better 
able  to  bear  to  do  without  her  when  the  time 
came,  for  if  I  was  to  be  less  than  all  in  all  to 
her,  I  was  determined  to  be  nothing. 

So,  from  that  evening,  I  began,  almost  in- 
sensibly, to  alter  in  my  manner  towards  Eve- 
lyn, and  to  put  a  certain  distance  between  us. 
I  said  and  did  nothing  which  could  give  her 


©l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlij.      39 

any  excuse  to  protest  or  ask  for  explanations  ; 
I  kept  up  all  the  forms  of  our  ordinary  inter- 
course, but  still,  by  slight,  almost  impercep- 
tible, gradations,  I  withdrew  from  our  former 
comradeship. 

So  sensitive  a  nature  as  hers  could  not 
help  being  affected  by  this,  and  I  could  see 
that  she  was  vaguely  uneasy  and  distressed 
by  the  consciousness  of  some  unseen  barrier 
between  us,  but  I  found  a  sombre  satisfaction 
in  the  ingenuity  with  which  I  baffled  all  her  ad- 
vances, while  still  leaving  her  unable  to  deter- 
mine precisely  where  or  if  she  had  been  repelled. 

It  is  strange  how  soon  such  a  mental  atti- 
tude as  mine  becomes  rigid,  until  it  is  only 
to  be  relaxed  by  some  extraordinary  effort  of 
will.  I  nursed  my  secret  grievance  against 
Evelyn  until  it  was  an  absorbing  and  impera- 
tive necessity  to  find  fresh  food  for  it,  and  I 
was  impatient  for  this  friend  of  hers  to  appear 
and  prove  to  me  that  my  jealousy  was  only 
too  well  justified. 

I  had  not  to  wait  long.  Mr.  Dallas  rode 
over  to  call  one  afternoon   that  week,  and  I 


40     ffil)*  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

made  my  first  acquaintance  with  the  man  who 
was  to  separate  me  from  the  only  friend  I  had 
in  the  world. 

As  he  came  towards  us  across  the  lawn, 
my  first  impression  was  of  a  tall,  well-built 
figure,  a  dark,  smooth-shaven  face,  neither 
plain  nor  handsome,  but  with  a  look  of  unde- 
niable distinction  on  it.  When  he  glanced  at 
me,  as  Evelyn  introduced  him,  I  saw  that  his 
eyes  were  grey,  and  calmly  observant;  he  had 
an  easy,  quiet  manner  and  a  remarkably  pleas- 
ant voice. 

He  made  no  secret  of  his  pleasure  at  see- 
ing Evelyn  again,  and  she  was  equally  frank 
in  her  welcome  of  him.  They  were  soon 
deep  in  their  Italian  reminiscences,  and  as  I 
was  necessarily  unable  to  take  more  than  a 
listener's  part  in  the  conversation,  I  was  the 
better  able  to  watch  them  both  ;  but  whether 
my  presence  acted  as  a  restraint  upon  them, 
or  whether,  as  yet,  they  had  not  gone  beyond 
the  stage  of  friendship,  I  could  detect  nothing 
on  his  part  or  hers  that  absolutely  bore  out 
my  suspicions. 


Ql\)c  Statement  of  Stella  JHaberlg.      41 

He  talked  well,  with  an  occasional  touch 
of  humour,  and  everything  he  said  indicated 
considerable  knowledge  and  culture,  without 
a  trace  of  priggishness  or  "showing  off."  He 
was  certainly  as  different  as  possible  from  the 
rather  heavy-witted  young  sportsmen  whose 
conversation  I  had  found  so  wearisome,  and 
I  could  not  help  reluctantly  admitting  to  my- 
self that — dislike  him  as  I  might — there  was 
something  strangely  attractive  in  his  per- 
sonality. 

Occasionally  courtesy  obliged  him  to  in- 
clude me  in  the  conversation,  or  explain  some 
allusion  for  my  benefit,  but  something — I  did 
not  know  what — made  me  unusually  tongue- 
tied  and  stupid  that  afternoon,  and  I  was  pro- 
voked to  feel  how  unfavourably  I  must  be  im- 
pressing him. 

Not  that  it  mattered,  of  course.  To  him, 
if,  indeed,  he  gave  me  a  thought,  I  was  merely 
the  salaried  companion,  who  was  not  ex- 
pected to  be  brilliant  or  original.  Why  should 
I  care  about  the  opinion  of  a  man  to  whom  I 

was  bound  to  be  indifferent,  and  who  was  so 

4 


42     &l)£  Statement  of  Stella  Ulaberls. 

evidently  here  for  the  sole  sake  of  recommend- 
ing himself  to  Evelyn  ? 

She  irritated  me  by  the  serenity  with  which 
she  received  all  his  attentions,  as  if  she  im- 
agined I  did  not  know  how  triumphant  she 
felt  at  seeing  him  return  to  her,  as  if  she  could 
really  be  so  insensible  as  she  seemed  to  his 
personal  charm. 

It  would  have  galled  me  even  more,  I  dare- 
say, if  I  could  have  surprised  her  in  some  self- 
betraying  look  or  intonation,  but  my  resent- 
ment against  her  had  gained  too  strong  a  hold 
to  make  me  care  whether  I  was  consistent  or 
not,  so  long  as  I  found  fresh  grievances  to  keep 
it  alive. 

He  went  away  at  last,  and  as  I  heard 
the  sound  of  his  horse's  hoofs  departing 
down  the  drive,  the  garden  seemed  to  me 
to  have  grown  dreary  and  deserted,  and  Mrs. 
Maitland's  chatter  more  unendurable  than 
ever. 

"Well,  Stella?"  said  Evelyn,  softly,  look- 
ing at  me  with  an  expectant  appeal  in  her 
eyes.     I  knew  she  wished  to  hear  me  praise 


©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  fflabetl&.      43 

this  lover  of  hers,  and  I  would  rather  have  died 
just  then. 

"  Well,  Evelyn  ?  "  I  returned. 

"  What  do  you  think  of  him  ?  " 

"Of  Mr.  Dallas?  What  should  I  think, 
except  that  he  is  the  most  irresistibly  charm- 
ing and  accomplished  and  generally  delightful 
person  I  ever  met  outside  a  novel  ?  " 

Her  face  clouded.  "If  you  talk  in  that 
ironical  tone  about  him,"  she  said,  "I  shall 
begin  to  think  you  dislike  him — and  yet  I 
don't  know  why  you  should." 

"  Why  should  you  care  whether  I  like  him 
or  dislike  him,  my  dear?"  I  replied.  "What 
possible  difference  can  it  make  to  you — or  to 
anyone  else  ?  " 

I  looked  her  in  the  face  as  I  spoke,  and 
saw  that  for  the  first  time  she  hesitated  and 
seemed  confused. 

"None,  perhaps,"  she  said,  "and  yet  I 
shall  be  disappointed  if  you  don't,  Stella.  But 
I  believe  you  will,  when  you  come  to  know 
him  better." 

"I  shall  have  plenty  of  time  to  study  his 


44     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberip. 

many  excellencies,"  I  said,  "if  his  visits  are 
all  as  long  as  this  one.  I  began  to  think  he 
never  would  go." 

"  I  didn't  think  he  stayed  at  all  too  long!  " 
said  Evelyn. 

"Then,  of  course,  my  dear  Evelyn,  he 
didn't,"  I  retorted,  as  I  rose.  "But  all  the 
same,  he  has  contrived  to  give  me  a  headache, 
and  I  must  go  indoors  and  lie  down  if  I  am  to 
get  rid  of  it  by  dinner-time." 

When  I  got  upstairs  I  did  not  lie  down, 
though  my  plea  of  a  headache  was  not  alto- 
gether a  subterfuge.  I  paced  the  room,  trying 
to  realise  what  I  actually  felt  towards  this 
man.  Why  was  it  that  the  chief  bitterness  in 
my  heart  seemed  concentrated  upon  Evelyn, 
when  I  had  at  least  equal  reason  to  hate  him  ? 

And  suddenly  the  humiliating  reason  forced 
itself  upon  me,  obstinately  as  I  sought  to  keep 
it  back. 

I  was  no  longer  jealous  of  Hugh  Dallas — I 
was  jealous  of  Evelyn.  And,  as  I  realised  all  that 
this  implied,  I  hid  my  burning  face  in  my  hands 
for  very  shame,  though  there  was  none  to  see. 


III. 


Fool  that  I  was,  I  had  thought  to  do  with- 
out Love,  but  he  had  found  me  out  at  last,  and 
was  punishing  me  for  having  set  him  at  defi- 
ance. I  had  only  met  Hugh  Dallas  once,  and 
yet  I  was  already  trying  to  recall  his  exact  im- 
age, the  tones  of  his  voice,  the  least  things  I 
had  heard  him  say;  my  heart  was  aching  with 
the  longing  to  see  him  again.  My  pride  re- 
belled against  it.  I  could  not  understand  how 
this  should  have  happened  to  me,  how,  in  one 
short  hour,  the  pivot  of  all  my  thoughts  and 
hopes  seemed  to  have  shifted,  or  even  what 
precise  qualities  he  had  which  appealed  to  me 
so  powerfully.  Does  one  ever  reason  or  ana- 
lyse in  such  cases  ?  I  only  knew  that  I  loved 
him. 

And  he  felt  nothing  but  indifference  to- 
wards me,  probably  had  not  noticed  whether 

45 


46     $l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iittaberls. 


I  was  young  or  old,  pretty  or  plain — how 
should  he,  when  all  his  thoughts  were  so  evi- 
dently occupied  with  Evelyn  ? 

I  went  to  my  mirror  and  studied  myself 
curiously  and  dispassionately.  I  had  certainly 
been  looking  my  very  best  that  afternoon. 
Surely  the  oval,  olive-tinted  face  I  saw  re- 
flected there,  with  the  crown  of  soft  dark  hair, 
the  imperious  mouth,  and  the  deep  brown 
eyes  that  looked  wistful  and  proud  and  sad, 
had  a  character  and  charm  of  its  own  which 
could  bear  comparison  even  with  Evelyn's 
more  fragile  and  spiritual  loveliness.  1  was 
taller  than  she  was ;  I  was  as  shapely,  as  well- 
born; the  cleverer  in  some  respects.  Why 
should  I  despair  ?  He  was  not  hers  yet — was 
it  so  impossible  that,  if  I  chose,  I  might  com- 
pel him,  even  now,  to  transfer  his  homage  ? 

And  yet  I  knew  that  I  could  not  really  sink 
to  such  baseness.  After  all,  Evelyn  had  been 
good  to  me;  I  had  loyalty  and  gratitude 
enough  in  me  still  to  recognise  that.  I  would 
never  repay  her  by  robbing  her  of  the  love 
that  was  rightfully  hers.     But  as  I  registered 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  inaberlp..      47 


this  vow  I  saw,  with  a  bitter  laugh  at  my  own 
vanity,  how  ludicrously  superfluous  and  cheap 
this  magnanimity  of  mine  was.  For  what  had 
Evelyn  to  fear  from  me  ?  She  was  everything 
to  him  already,  and  if  she  were  not,  she  had 
the  advantage  of  her  wealth ;  it  was  not  likely 
that  Hugh  Dallas  would  ever  turn  from  the 
heiress  to  her  penniless  companion.  How 
truly  generous  to  renounce  what  I  had  not  the 
remotest  chance  of  ever  possessing !  No,  such 
a  love  as  mine  was  hopeless ;  the  only  course 
left  to  me  was  to  preserve  my  self-respect  in 
future  by  preventing  him  from  ever  suspecting 
my  unhappy  secret. 

The  surest  way  was  to  leave  the  home  at 
once,  and  how  often  now  I  wish  I  had  had  the 
courage  to  do  so!  But  I  could  not.  What 
plausible  excuse  could  I  give  Evelyn  for  leav- 
ing her  so  suddenly  ?  She  would  guess  my 
real  reason!  And  I  shrank  from  returning 
home  and  facing  the  astonishment  and  curi- 
osity of  my  family — and  where  else  was  I 
to  go  ? 

I  would  stay  at  Tansted  until  I  could  re- 


48     f&Ije  Statement  of  Stella  inaberlg. 

main  no  longer;  I  clung  to  the  mere  prospect 
of  seeing  him  again.  Anything  was  more 
bearable,  ever,  having  to  stand  and  look  on  at 
the  rapid  growth  of  his  attachment  to  another, 
than  going  away  and  imagining  it  all.  So  I 
stayed  on  and  hid  the  fox  that  was  gnawing 
my  heart,  being  sustained,  as  I  then  thought, 
by  womanly  pride,  though  I  believe  I  was  as 
much  influenced  by  the  old  self-torturing  im- 
pulse which  led  me  to  seek  rather  than  shun 
the  emotional  excitement  of  misery. 

Evelyn  had  no  suspicion  of  my  mad  jeal- 
ousy or  the  envy  that  jaundiced  my  every 
thought  of  her.  As  before,  I  took  care  to 
make  any  real  confidence  between  us  impos- 
sible, without  allowing  her  to  feel  that  I  was 
estranged  from  her;  she  merely  considered,  as 
I  knew  she  would,  that  I  was  suffering  from  a 
return  of  the  old  causeless  depression  that  at- 
tacked me  even  in  my  schoolgirl  days,  and 
that  it  was  wiser  and  kinder  to  leave  me  to 
fight  it  alone. 

But  the  part  I  had  resolved  to  play  was 
more  difficult  and  painful  than  I  could  have 


®fje  Statement  of  Stella  iHabetlg.      49 

realised.  Hugh  Dallas  became  a  more  and 
more  frequent  visitor  at  Tansted;  he  had  origi- 
nally intended  only  to  spend  Whitsuntide  at 
Laleham,  but  he  stayed  on,  and  seemed  fully 
resigned  to  lose  the  remainder  of  the  season 
in  town.  He  had  some  idea,  he  said,  of  stand- 
ing for  his  division  at  the  next  General  Elec- 
tion, and  it  was  necessary  to  cultivate  his 
future  constituents.  How  far  he  did  this  I 
could  not  tell,  but  he  apparently  found  time 
to  attend  every  social  event  at  which  there 
was  any  chance  of  Evelyn  being  present,  and 
we  were  constantly  meeting  him  at  the  various 
houses  around  Whinstone.  At  first  he  took 
some  pains  to  be  agreeable  to  me,  as  Evelyn's 
most  intimate  friend,  and  a  person  whom  it 
was  desirable  to  have  on  his  side,  but  the 
mockery  of  this  careless  kindness  was  more 
than  I  could  bear.  I  was  afraid  of  betraying, 
in  some  unguarded  moment,  how  deeply  his 
presence  agitated  me,  and  I  hid  my  feelings 
under  a  stony  indifference,  or  cutting  speeches 
at  which  my  own  heart  bled  while  I  was  mak- 
ing them.     I  avoided  him  as  much  as  I  could, 


50     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberls- 

for  it  was  better  that  he  should  believe  I  had 
an  aversion  for  him  than  guess  the  truth. 

I  could  see  that  he  was  hurt  as  well  as  sur- 
prised by  my  treatment,  and  that  Evelyn,  too, 
was  distressed,  and  I  felt  a  fierce  satisfaction 
in  knowing  it  ;  it  was  only  fair  that  they 
should  suffer  a  little  when  I  was  suffering  so 
much. 

She  made  tentative  approaches  to  the  sub- 
ject when  we  were  alone,  but  Evelyn  was 
always  easily  repelled,  and  she  soon  saw  that 
I  did  not  intend  to  discuss  it,  and  gave  up  the 
attempt  with  a  sigh.  The  consciousness  of 
the  growing  shadow  between  us  was  telling 
on  her  spirits,  as  I  noticed,  and  every  evi- 
dence of  my  supposed  antipathy  to  Hugh 
Dallas  was  a  fresh  grief  and  anxiety  to  her. 

I  imagined  that  it  was  this  which  made  her 
still  hesitate  before  definitely  accepting  him, 
and  that  she  did  not  love  him  enough  as  yet 
to  brave  my  disapproval. 

This  impression  of  mine  was  strengthened 
by  what  I  saw  of  their  demeanour  when  they 
thought  themselves  alone  and  unobserved,  for 


®l)e  Statement  of  Sulla  iRaberlg.      51 

though  I  slipped  away  to  my  room  at  the  first 
opportunity,  I  could  not  resist  watching  them 
whenever  they  were  in  the  garden  together 
and  came  within  sight.  They  were  always 
talking  earnestly  and  confidentially;  he,  from 
his  expression,  seemed  to  be  pressing  her  for 
a  decision,  and  she  gently  putting  him  off 
without  forbidding  him  all  hope.  Once  or 
twice,  as  they  passed  below  my  window,  I 
was  almost  certain  I  heard  my  own  name. 

I  was  the  obstacle,  I  knew,  but  sooner  or 
later  he  would  succeed  in  persuading  her  to 
disregard  my  prejudices,  though  the  suspense 
was  so  long  drawn  out  that  I  almost  fancied  I 
should  be  glad  when  the  comedy  was  over 
and  the  inevitable  denoument  reached. 

Even  Mrs.  Maitland  began  to  grow  a  little 
uneasy  and  impatient.  "  I  suppose  it  is  really 
all  right"  she  said  to  me  one  afternoon, 
"though  why  they  should  take  so  long  to 
come  to  an  understanding — I  often  feel  tempted 
to  try  whether  I  can  find  out  from  dear  Evelyn 
whether  there  is  anything  actually — but  I 
might  do  more  harm  than  good  by  interfering. 


52     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls. 


Now  jycw,  dear  Miss  Maberly,  you  are  natu- 
rally more  in  her  confidence  than  I  ever  was — 
though  I  am  her  aunt.  Don't  you  think  that 
if  you  were  to  speak  to  her ?  " 

I  gave  the  good  lady  to  understand  that  I 
knew  nothing  and  wished  to  know  nothing, 
and  that  Evelyn  was  surely  capable  of  manag- 
ing her  own  affairs. 

"I'm  afraid  you  are  getting  to  live  far  too 
much  in  a  world  of  your  own,  my  dear,"  she 
retorted,  with  a  slightly  ruffled  air.  "I 
thought  you  would  take  more  interest  in 
what  concerns  her  happiness.  But  perhaps 
you  don't  feel  at  liberty  to  repeat  confi- 
dences, and  no  doubt  you  are  right,  though 
I  have  some  claim  to  be  told,  I  consider, 
and  you  can  certainly  depend  upon  my  dis- 
cretion ! " 

She  paused  invitingly,  but  I  saw  no  reason 
to  gratify  her  curiosity,  particularly  as  I  knew 
no  more  than  she  did,  and  remained  silent. 
"Ah,  well,"  she  continued,  "I  certainly  ex- 
pected it  would  all  have  been  settled  long 
before  this,  but  it's   only  a  question  of  time 


Slje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.      53 

after  all.  If  she  meant  to  refuse  him  she 
would  not  let  him  be  so  much  with  her  as 
he  is  ;  she  is  far  too  conscientious  for  that." 

But  as  the  time  went  on  and  nothing  hap- 
pened, I  felt  a  growing  dread  of  the  day 
when  the  blow  should  fall.  Even  this  un- 
certainty had  its  compensations — I  could  still 
indulge  in  faint  delusive  hopes.  But  when  I 
knew  that  all  was  over,  that  they  were  defi- 
nitely engaged,  when  I  should  have  to  witness 
their  ecstasies,  to  sympathise,  congratulate, 
when  I  found  myself  condemned  to  loneliness 
and  dependence  again,  without  even  the  ex- 
citement of  occasional  contact  with  him — how 
could  I  bear  it,  how  could  I  live  through  it  ? 

And  then  the  thought  came  to  me  : 
Why  should  I  live  through  it?  Why  not 
escape  from  it  all  as  soon  as  the  misery  be- 
came past  all  bearing  ? 

They  would  not  miss  me  at  home  ;  Eve- 
lyn might  be  a  little  sorry  at  first,  but  not 
for  long.  He  would  not  care.  And  I  should 
have  done  with  suffering  and  be  at  rest. 

I   found  a   medical   v/ork    in    the    library 


54     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg. 

which  treated  of  poisons,  and  this  I  studied 
carefully,  for  I  had  decided  on  this  means 
of  ending  my  life,  and  I  wanted  to  find 
some  drug  that  would  act  painlessly,  and 
not  leave  me  hideous  after  death.  I  chose 
chloral,  as  the  easiest  to  procure  and  the 
most  likely  to  give  the  impression  of  an 
accidental  overdose  rather  than  deliberate  sui- 
cide, so  that  I  could  go  out  of  life  carrying 
my  secret  with  me. 

It  was  not  difficult  to  induce  the  chemist 
in  the  nearest  market  town  to  let  me  have 
enough  for  my  purpose.  I  had  dealt  there 
before,  and  he  was  satisfied  with  entering 
my  name  and  address,  and  mildly  caution- 
ing me  against  the  danger  of  fighting  in- 
somnia (I  told  him  I  was  suffering  from 
sleeplessness)  with  so  treacherous  an  ally. 

So,  now  that  I  had  the  means  at  hand  of 
procuring  my  own  release  whenever  I  chose, 
I  felt  calmer  and  more  resigned. 

One  afternoon  I  was  sitting  in  my  room, 
absently  wondering,  as  I  fingered  the  fluted 
blue  phial  on  my  dressing-table,   how  long  it 


ffilje  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlg.      55 

would  be  before  I  broke  the  seal,  and  whether 
it  was  possible  that  I  should  repent  as  I  felt 
the  first  approach  of  the  sleep  which  would 
be  my  last,  when  I  was  startled  by  finding 
that  Mrs.  Maitland  had  entered  by  the  door, 
which  I  fancied  I  had  locked. 

"I'm  afraid  I  disturbed  you,  my  dear,*' 
she  began.  "But  I  knocked  three  times, 
and  as  you  didn't  answer,  I  ventured  to  peep 
in,  for  you  have  been  so  unlike  yourself 
lately  that  I  really  feel  quite  anxious  about 
you.  .  .  .  Why,"  she  broke  off,  as  her  eyes 
caught  the  phial,  which  I  had  not  had  pres- 
ence of  mind  enough  to  hide  in  time,  "surely 
that  bottle  is  labelled  'poison.'  Now,  what 
can  you  possibly  want  with  such  a  thing  ?  " 

I  laughed.  "Don't  be  alarmed,"  I  said, 
"it's  only  a  very  ordinary  sleeping  draught. 
They're  obliged  to  label  it  like  this,  but,  as  a 
matter-of-fact,  it's  perfectly  harmless,  so  long 
as  the  proper  dose  is  not  exceeded.  I  got  it 
because  I've  been  afraid  lately  that  I  was  in 
for  a  bad  attack  of  neuralgia,  and  I  thought  I'd 
have  a  remedy  at  hand." 


56     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlp.. 


"Neuralgia  is  a  dreadful  thing,  I  know," 
she  said,  taking  up  the  bottle  and  examining 
it.  "Ah,  I  see  it  tells  you  how  many  drops 
to  take— only  I  do  hope  you'll  be  very  careful, 
my  dear,  and  not  take  more  than  is  safe — one 
hears  of  so  many  accidents." 

"If  it  will  make  your  mind  easier,"  I  said, 
"  I'll  promise  to  take  no  more  than  is  neces- 
sary, if  I  am  ever  reduced  to  taking  it  at  all." 

"Thank  you,  my  dear.  So  long  as  you 
keep  to  that  and  don't  let  yourself  get  depend- 
ent on  it,  I  daresay — but  I  came  up  to  tell 
you  something,  and  I  declare  this  has  driven  it 
quite  out  of  my  mind.     Now,  was  it  ?  " 

I  was  naturally  unable  to  supply  the  an- 
swer, and  I  daresay  I  looked  as  if  I  could  see 
no  reason  why  she  should  have  invaded  me  at 
all  in  this  unceremonious  way. 

"  I  remember  now,"  she  said,  "of  course 
— how  stupid  of  me  to  forget!  Mr.  Dallas  is 
here  again,  and  though,  goodness  knows,  I 
was  never  an  eavesdropper,  I  really  couldn't 
help  overhearing  part  of  what  he  was  saying 
to  Evelyn  just  now,   and  from  what  I  could 


&tje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.      57 

make  out,  there  is  a  hitch,  and  in  some  way  it 
depends  on  you,  my  dear  Miss  Maberly,  to 
put  it  right.  It  seems  she  has  got  it  into  her 
head  that  you  disapprove  of  him — which,  of 
course,  is  nonsense — and  he  was  urging  her 
to  let  him  have  an  opportunity  of  seeing  you, 
and  I  think  she  is  willing  to  accept  him  if  only 
he  can  succeed  in  getting  you  on  his  side — 
though  why,  as  she  is  evidently  fond  of  him, 
she  should  let  anyone  else — even  you,  my  dear 
— dictate  her  answer  to  her,  /  don't  know! 
But  there  it  is,  and  though  I'm  sure  that  you 
see  as  well  as  I  do  myself  what  a  thousand 
pities  it  would  be  if  such  a  perfectly  suitable 
match  were  broken  off  for  some  fanciful 
scruple,  and  I  know  you  will  make  dear 
Evelyn  understand  how  mistaken  she  is  in 
thinking  you  could  be  opposed  to  anything  so 
obviously  for  her  happiness,  I  thought  I  had 
better  give  you  just  a  hint  how  matters  stand. 
And,  now  I've  done  it,  I'll  go  away  and  not 
worry  you  any  longer,  for  I  see  you're  think- 
ing me  a  tiresome  old  woman." 

She  fussed  out  of  the  room,  highly  satis- 
5 


$8     ®t)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberis. 

fied,  I  have  no  doubt,  with  her  own  consum- 
mate diplomacy,  and  I  was  left  to  think  over 
what  she  had  told  me. 

Part  of  it  I  had  already  guessed  for  myself, 
but  it  had  never  occurred  to  me  that  Evelyn 
would  actually  leave  it  to  me  of  all  people  to 
decide  what  her  answer  should  be.  Such  self- 
abnegation  was  unnatural,  it  could  not  be  sin- 
cere; she  had  made  up  her  mind  to  accept 
him  long  since,  but  she  wanted  to  gain  my 
formal  approval  to  satisfy  her  own  conscience, 
and  she  felt  confident  that  I  could  not  well  re- 
fuse it. 

And  she  had  allowed  him  to  plead  to  me — 
the  man  who  would  lacerate  my  heart  by 
every  word  that  showed  how  ardently  he 
loved  her!  Could  she  really  be  so  selfishly 
blind  ?  After  all,  she  was  a  jwoman ;  she 
ought  to  have — she  must  have  read  me  better, 
in  spite  of  myself,  than  to  have  no  suspicion 
that  it  was  not  dislike  that  had  made  me  shun 
him  as  I  had.  She  had  too  much  insight  not 
to  see,  if  she  had  cared  to  see,  the  cruelty  of 
forcing  me  to  figure  like  this  in  her  triumph. 


®lje  Statement  ot  Stella  iflaberls.      59 


Still,  I  would  go  through  this  final  ordeal; 
the  fierce  indignation  I  felt  against  both  of 
them  would  give  me  strength  to  play  my  part 
to  the  end  without  faltering  or  betraying  my- 
self. He  was  there  in  the  house  now;  if  I 
chose  to  go  downstairs  I  might  get  this  inter- 
view over;  I  had  never  been  alone  with  him 
yet.  I  felt  a  kind  of  eagerness  for  the  ex- 
quisite suffering  of  hearing  the  avowal  of  his 
love  for  Evelyn  from  his  own  lips — death 
would  be  all  the  easier  afterwards. 

And  so — though  he  would  not  notice 
whether  I  was  looking  ill  or  well — I  hastily 
bathed  my  hot  eyes  and  re-arranged  my  dis- 
ordered hair,  and  feeling  defiantly  sure  of  my- 
self, I  went  down  to  the  drawing-room, 
where  I  knew  he  and  Evelyn  would  proba- 
bly be. 


IV. 


As  I  expected,  I  found  them  together  in 
the  drawing-room,  Hugh  Dallas  seated  in  the 
window-bay,  and  Evelyn  at  some  distance 
from  him.  His  troubled,  despondent  look 
was  certainly  not  that  of  an  accepted  lover, 
and  ;there  was  an  air  of  constraint  and  con- 
sciousness in  them  both  as  I  entered,  from 
which  I  guessed  that  the  conversation  I  had 
interrupted  was  chiefly  about  myself. 

We  talked  for  a  while  in  a  rather  perfunc- 
tory manner,  and  I  think  that  I  was  the  most 
self-possessed  of  the  three,  and  succeeded  per- 
fectly in  hiding  my  torment  of  jealousy  and 
suspense  behind  the  mask  of  indifference  that 
I  had  schooled  myself  to  wear  in  his  company. 
At  last  Evelyn  made  some  pretext  for  quitting 
the  room,  and  as  she  did  so  I  saw  the  glance 
of  secret  encouragement  she  threw  him. 

60 


ffilje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.      61 

We  were  alone  together,  he  and  I,  for  the 
first  time  since  we  had  met,  and  I  could  hear 
the  beating  of  my  heart,  even  above  the  patter 
of  the  fountain  on  the  lawn  outside,  in  the  si- 
lence. I  watched  him  covertly  as  he  sat  there 
moodily  pulling  about  some  flowers  in  a  vase 
which  stood  on  the  window-sill.  I  knew  he 
was  nerving  himself  to  make  an  appeal  to  me. 
I  knew,  or  thought  I  knew,  what  that  appeal 
would  be,  and  suddenly  I  felt  that  I  could  not 
trust  myself  to  listen  to  it.  I  had  overrated 
my  courage,  and  the  one  thing  I  desired  now 
was  to  escape  before  the  words  were  spoken. 
I  had  already  risen  with  some  incoherent  ex- 
cuse for  joining  Evelyn,  when  he  stopped  me 
with  a  mastery  I  felt  powerless  to  defy. 

"You  will  not  go  to  Evelyn  yet,"  he  said. 
"I  have  something  to  say  to  you  first,  and 
you  must  hear  it,  Miss  Maberly.  Surely  you 
will  not  refuse  me  so  small  a  thing  as  that  ?  " 

There  was  a  suppressed  passion  in  his  tone 
that  thrilled  me;  for  the  moment  I  could  almost 
have  believed  that  it  was  I  whose  love  he  was 
seeking,  and  even  though  I  knew  how  cruelly 


62     ®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberis. 

fleeting  such  an  illusion  would  prove,  I  surren- 
dered myself  to  it. 

"I  will  hear  anything  you  wish  to  say  to 
me,"  I  said. 

"I  want  to  know  first,"  he  said,  "why 
you  persist  in  looking  upon  me  as  an 
enemy  ?" 

"  Have  I  given  you  any  reason  for  suppos- 
ing so  ?."  I  asked.     "  I  don't  think  so." 

"Any  reason  ?  "  he  repeated.  "  Have  you 
ever  condescended  to  be  commonly  civil  to 
me  ?  Would  you  speak  to,  or  look  at  me  ? 
Would  you  be  here  in  the  same  room  with 
me,  if  you  could  help  yourself?  Do  you  sup- 
pose I  am  too  dense  to  see  that?  Perhaps 
enemy  is  too  strong  a  word  ;  you  may  not 
think  me  sufficiently  important  to  deserve 
even  such  a  title  as  that,  but  you  have  taken 
very  little  trouble  to  hide  the  fact  that  you  dis- 
like me  about  as  thoroughly  as  one  human  be- 
ing can  dislike  another.  You  will  not  deny 
that?" 

At  least  I  had  kept  my  wretched  secret  from 
him !     It  was  some  comfort  even  then. 


(Etje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlj).      63 


" And  if  I  do  not  deny  it,"  I  said,  "what 
then?" 

"  I  have  the  right  to  ask  what  I  have  done 
to  deserve  it — and  I  do  ask." 

"I  can  give  you  no  answer.  Except  that 
liking  and  disliking  are  sentiments  beyond 
one's  control." 

"Justice  ought  not  to  be  at  all  events,"  he 
retorted.  "Can  you  not  be  just  to  me  ?  I 
don't  claim  to  be  a  better  sort  of  fellow  than 
my  neighbours,  but  I  can  honestly  say  that 
there  is  nothing  in  my  life  which  makes  me 
unworthy  of  any  woman's  friendship." 

Ah !  1  did  not  need  to  be  told  that — though 
he  might  have  been  the  worst  of  men,  and  I 
should  have  loved  him  just  the  same.  It  was 
hard  to  see  him  standing  there,  pleading  with 
me  to  lay  aside  what  he  supposed  to  be  a 
rooted  antipathy,  and  not  to  undeceive  him  by 
some  mad  words  which  would  force  him  to 
understand  my  real  feelings. 

"  Why  should  you  wish  to  gain  my  friend- 
ship ?"  I  said.  "It  can  make  no  difference  to 
you  whether  you  have  it  or  not. " 


64     ®lje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

"It  makes  this  difference,"  he  said,  "that, 
unless  I  have  it,  I  must  keep  away  from  Tan- 
sted  for  the  future." 

"And  you  think  Evelyn  would  be  willing 
that  you  should  go  ?"  I  said  incredulously. 

"She  would  be  sorry,  of  course,  but  you 
must  know  that  you  have  the  first  place  in  her 
heart.  It  distresses  her  too  much  to  see,  as  she 
cannot  help  seeing,  that  my  presence  here  is 
distasteful  to  you,  that  for  some  reason  or  other 
it  has  brought  about  a  change  in  your  feelings 
for  her." 

"  So  she  has  sent  you  to  me  to  try  whether 
you  can  not  overcome  my — my  prejudices.  Is 
that  what  I  am  to  understand  ?  " 

"She  thought  that  if  I  spoke  to  you  and 
could  get  you  to  tell  me  plainly  what  you  have 
against  me,  I  might  possibly  succeed  in  show- 
ing you  that  you  have  judged  me  too  harshly," 
he  replied.  "Look  here,  Miss  Maberly,  why 
can't  you  bring  yourself  to  think  of  me  as,  at 
all  events,  a  possible  friend  ?  Why  do  you 
wish  to  drive  me  away  from  Tansted  alto- 
gether ?  " 


(ftlje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls-      65 

"I  shall  not  drive  you  away,"  I  said;  "it 
is  I  who  will  leave  Tansted,  and  then  you  will 
be  able  to  come  here  as  before." 

"As  if  Evelyn  or  I  would  permit  that.  If 
you  really  detest  me  so  much  that,  rather  than 
endure  the  sight  of  me,  you  would  separate 
yourself  from  such  a  friend  as  Evelyn,  there  is 
no  more  to  be  said.  I  must  go  away,  give  up 
all  hope  of  happiness  here.  Is  that  what  you 
wish  ?    It  rests  with  you." 

"  It  does  not  rest  with  me!  "  I  said  angrily. 
"I  will  not  have  the  responsibility  thrust  on 
me.  And  it  is  all  so  hollow  and  insincere.  If 
Evelyn  wishes  to  keep  you  she  will — whether 
I  approve  or  disapprove.  It  is  a  mockery  to 
leave  it  to  me  like  this." 

"  I  have  already  told  you  that  Evelyn's  first 
consideration  is  your  happiness  and  peace  of 
mind,"  he  said.  "I  am  bound  to  respect  her 
feelings  in  the  matter,  to  say  nothing  of  yours. 
So  I  ask  you  once  more  whether  I  am  to  go  or 
stay." 

"What  is  it  to  me  which  you  do  ?  "  I  cried 
wildly.     "  Do  I  not  know  that,  whatever  I  say, 


66     QLtye  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls. 

it  will  make  no  difference  ?  Evelyn  will  be 
willing  enough  to  make  you  happy  when  I  am 
once  out  of  the  way.  Why  should  you  not 
marry  when  you  are  so  plainly  intended  for 
one  another  ?  And  I  shall  not  care — do  you 
understand  that?  I  am  utterly  indifferent. 
Why  should  it  matter  to  me,  so  long  as  I  never 
see  you  again  ?  There,  I  have  given  you  your 
answer — now  let  me  go." 

"Yes,  I  have  had  my  answer,"  he  said. 
"I  hoped  it  would  have  been  a  kinder  one; 
but  I  suppose  I  had  no  right  to  expect  any- 
thing else  from  you.  Our  interview,"  he  added 
grimly,  as  he  held  open  the  door  for  me,  "has 
not  been  such  a  pleasant  one  that  I  should  wish 
to  prolong  it.  Good-bye,  Miss  Maberly,  you 
need  not  be  afraid  of  any  further  persecution 
from  me.  You  have  shown  me  plainly  enough 
that  your  decision  is  final." 

I  passed  out  without  venturing  to  look  at 
him,  and  went  up  to  my  own  room.  I  felt 
relieved,  elated,  at  having  triumphed  over  my 
own  weakness.  I  had  met  him  face  to  face 
and  without  faltering;  he  would  never  suspect 


QL\)e  Statement  of  0telio  Ulaberlg.      67 

now  my  real  feelings  towards  him.  I  could 
almost  believe  that  I  really  had  ceased  to  care 
— or  how  came  it  that  my  suicidal  intentions 
of  an  hour  or  so  ago  seemed  only  cowardly 
and  sentimental  ? 

I  had  courage  to  go  on  living  now,  if  only 
to  see  how  Evelyn  would  act  when  she  found 
that  I  could  not  be  cajoled  into  sanctioning  her 
desertion  of  me,  and  how  long  it  would  be 
before  her  pretended  scruples  were  thrown  to 
the  winds. 

We  did  not  meet  again  till  dinner,  when, 
although  we  were  obliged  to  keep  up  some 
sort  of  conversation  on  indifferent  topics,  I 
could  tell  by  her  troubled  expression  that 
Hugh  Dallas  had  informed  her  before  leaving 
of  the  result  of  his  appeal. 

I  evaded  our  usual  after-dinner  stroll  in  the 
garden  by  pleading  that  I  had  a  headache  and 
wished  to  be  quiet,  so  she  and  Mrs.  Maitland 
went  without  me.  I  sat  in  the  drawing-room, 
in  the  same  seat  in  which  I  had  listened  to 
him,  and  tried  to  imagine  him  there  in  the 
window-bay,  and  to  live  through  the  scene 


68     ®1)£  Statement  of  Stella  JttaberlB. 

again,  sentence  by  sentence.  The  butler 
brought  in  the  lamps  without  disturbing  my 
reverie,  and  the  trees  outside  were  becoming 
a  blurred  bronze  against  the  violet  evening 
sky,  before  I  heard  Evelyn  enter  the  room 
softly. 

"Is  your  head  better  now,  Stella?"  she 
said,  coming  up  to  me  and  laying  one  hand 
on  my  shoulder,  "because — if  you  will  let  me 
— I  want  to  talk  to  you  about — about  some- 
body." 

I  shrank  involuntarily  from  her  light  touch. 
"  I  know  what  you  want  to  say,"  I  said,  "and 
it  will  be  no  good — you  will  only  waste  your 
words! " 

"  But  you  will  hear  me,  dearest,"  she  said. 
"We  have  been  such  friends  till — till  some- 
thing came  between  us.  Don't  harden  your- 
self against  me  now.  You  must  know  how  I 
love  you!  Stella,  you  sent  Hugh  away  this 
afternoon  very  unhappy.  It  makes  me  miser- 
able, too,  to  find  that  you  are  so  bitterly  preju- 
diced against  him.  I  like  him  very  dearly. 
Can't  you  try  to  like  him  a  little,  for  my  sake  ? 


&l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlp.      69 

It  will  grieve  me  to  have  to  send  him  away, 
but,  if  you  really  cannot  bring  yourself  to  tol- 
erate him,  what  else  can  I  do  ?  " 

"Why  do  you  insist  on  making  me  re- 
sponsible?" I  said.  "Except  to  put  me  in 
the  wrong!  I  tell  you  I  will  have  nothing  to 
do  with  it.  You  are  your  own  mistress — do 
as  you  choose." 

"  How  can  I  choose  to  make  you  wretched 
and  uncomfortable,  Stella !  This  is  your  home 
as  well  as  mine,  and  as  long  as  you  and  I  are 
together  I  want  you  to  be  happy  here,  as  you 
were  at  first.  And  though  I  was  afraid  to  say 
anything,  I  have  fancied  lately  that  you  are  not 
happy  with  me.     Was  I  right  ?  " 

"I  never  am  happy  long  anywhere,"  I 
said  impatiently.  "I  get  unsettled  and  rest- 
less. And  I — I  don't  think  this  place  agrees 
with  me  quite.  I  shall  have  to  leave  you 
sooner  or  later,  Evelyn;  it  had  better  be 
soon." 

"Leave  me,  Stella!"  she  exclaimed.  "I 
hoped  that  nothing  would  ever  separate  you 
and  me!" 


To     ®l)e  Statement  of  Bulla  iflabsrls. 

Did  she  actually  imagine  that  I  could  live  in 
the  same  house — with  them  ? 

"Not  even  Hugh  Dallas?"  I  said  sardon- 
ically. 

"Laleham  is  not  so  far  from  here — we 
should  not  be  separated,  even  then.  But  you 
say  you  dislike  him  so.  I  begin  to  wonder, 
Stella,  whether  you  are  not  the  least  bit  jeal- 
ous?" 

I  felt  myself  turning  hot.  "Jealous!"  I 
cried.  "What  do  you  mean,  Evelyn — do 
you  suppose ?" 

"Don't  be  jealous  any  more,  dear,  there  is 
no  need.  I  do  like  him  very  much,  he  is  so 
manly  and  honourable.  I  feel  sure  that  he 
will  make  the  woman  he  loves  very  happy, 
Stella,  but  still — but  still,  he  can  never  be  what 
you  are  to  me,  and  if  you  tell  me  that  you 
really  cannot " 

"I  hate  insincere  talk  like  that,  Evelyn,"  I 
interrupted.  "You  don't  mean  it — and  you 
know  you  don't." 

She  flushed  painfully.  "You  are  very 
strange  to-night,  Stella,"  she  said.     "I  don't 


Slje  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlg.      71 

know  why  you  should  think  I  am  not  sincere. 
But  I  would  rather  see  the  two  dearest  friends 
I  have  liking  and  respecting  one  another,  and 
I  do  want  you  to  make  an  effort  to  overcome 
this  antipathy  so  that  we  could  all  three  be 
happy.  After  all,  you  can  have  no  real  reason 
for  it.  You  have  got  some  morbid,  fanciful 
idea  into  your  head  about  him,  which  I  know 
I  could  convince  you  in  a  moment  was  unjust. 
Trust  me,  Stella.  Tell  me  why  you  dislike 
him." 

"I  will  not  be  catechised  like  this,"  I  said, 
writhing  in  impotent  anger;  "it  is  too  humil- 
iating! You  are  simply  trying  to  exasperate 
me.  You  do  understand,  or  if  you  really 
don't,  you  might  have  before  this — only  you 
were  too  blinded  by  your  own  selfishness !  " 

"Am  I  selfish?  and  blind,  too?"  she  said 
slowly.  "Tell  me  how,  Stella;  it  is  the  least 
you  can  do." 

"Very  well,  I  will  tell  you,  though  you 
know  it  already.  You  are  not  a  fool,  Evelyn, 
and  even  a  fool  might  have  guessed  that  if  I 
avoided  him  and  made  him  believe  I  detested 


72     ©f)*  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlj). 

the  very  sight  of  him,  it  was  because — because 
I  was  afraid  of  myself.  ...  Do  you  want 
me  to  go  on  ?" 

"  Stella !  "  she  exclaimed.  "  Oh,  you  were 
right.  I  have  been  blind.  If  you  had  only 
confided  in  me." 

"I  had  some  pride  left,"  I  retorted.  "I 
would  have  kept  it  from  every  living  soul  if  I 
could,  and  now  you  have  succeeded  in  wring- 
ing it  out  of  me.  Be  satisfied  with  that,  and 
leave  me  in  peace." 

"You  don't  understand,"  she  cried.  "It 
is  so  sudden  and  bewildering  that  I — but  I 
shall  be  able  to  tell  you  in  a  moment  how " 

"  The  less  we  say  now  the  better  it  will  be 
for  us  both,"  I  said.  "You  see  now  what  a 
mockery  the  word  friendship  is  between  us, 
and  how  necessary  it  is  that  we  should  part." 

"We  need  not,"  she  cried.  "Stella,  did 
I  not  tell  you  all  I  cared  for  was  your  happi- 
ness ?    Well " 

"  For  heaven's  sake,  don't  go  through  the 
farce  of  offering  to  give  him  up!  "  I  said  scorn- 
fully.    "As  if  he  would   be   likely  to  allow 


Stye  Statement  of  Stella  JHaberls.      73 


himself— as  if  I  would  accept.  I  will  listen  to 
no  more  of  this  hypocritical  cant.  .  .  .  See, 
I  have  stopped  my  ears.  Say  what  you  please 
now — I  shall  hear  nothing!  " 

She  caught  my  hands  in  hers  and  drew 
them  down.  "You  shall  hear  me,  you  fool- 
ish, wilful  girl,''  she  said.  "I  won't  let  you 
wreck  your  own  life  like  this!  " 

I  wrenched  myself  free  with  such  violence 
that  she  staggered  back  and  fell  into  a  couch, 
on  which  she  lay,  white  and  panting,  looking 
up  at  me  as  I  stood  over  her  in  a  tempest  of 
ungovernable  fury. 

"  Be  silent,  do  you  hear  ?  "  I  said.  "  I  warn 
you  that,  if  you  say  a  single  word  more  just 
now,  I  can't  answer  for  what  I  may  do.  I 
might  kill  you!  If  you  are  wise,  go  away, 
and  leave  me  to  myself — go  away! " 

She  rose  to  her  feet  unsteadily,  her  eyes 
misted  over  with  pain  and  apprehension  and 
appeal  as  they  met  mine;  she  drew  a  long 
gasping  sigh  and  pressed  her  hand  to  her  left 
side,  and  then,  supporting  herself  on  her  way 
by  chairs  and  couches,  she  slowly  went  out  of 


74     ®b*  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

the  room,  leaving  me  standing  there,  already 
a  little  ashamed  of  my  outburst,  but  sullen  and 
impenitent  still.  Everything  was  at  an  end 
between  us  ;  meek  and  spiritless  as  she  was, 
she  must  recognise  that  we  could  never  be  the 
same  to  one  another  again,  that  my  confession 
had  made  a  chasm  that  nothing  could  ever 
bridge.  It  was  a  relief  to  have  delivered  my 
soul,  to  have  done  with  all  dissimulation,  and 
yet  I  cursed  my  insane  folly  in  allowing  the 
one  thing  I  was  bound  to  conceal  to  be  ex- 
torted from  me,  and  I  hated  Evelyn  for  having 
driven  me  beyond  prudence. 

She  had  been  so  irreproachably  correct 
throughout,  so  maddeningly  forbearing  and 
gentle,  she  had  put  me  so  hopelessly  in  the 
wrong — and  now  I  was  at  the  mercy  of  her 
discretion,  and  some  day  or  other  she  would 
infallibly  confide  my  secret  to  him — and  he 
would  despise  and  pity  me.  At  least  I 
would  not  be  there  to  see  it.  I  would  leave 
Tansted  the  very  next  day,  even  if — which 
was  not  likely — Evelyn  tried  to  keep  me — 
any  place  was  better  than  this   now.      How 


®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberip..      75 


long  I  sat  nursing  these  bitter  and  angry 
thoughts  I  don't  know  ;  it  was  late,  and  the 
servants  had  locked  up  and  gone  to  bed,  be- 
fore I  heard  footsteps  descending  the  stairs 
and  entering  the  room.  Could  it  be  Evelyn 
coming  to  patch  up  a  peace  ?  I  would  have 
none  of  her  forgiveness,  she  should  know  how 
I  hated  her,  and  how  determined  I  was  that 
this  should  be  the  last  night  I  ever  spent 
under  her  roof. 

But  the  footsteps  were  not  light  enough  for 
Evelyn's.  When  I  turned,  it  was  to  see  Mrs. 
Maitland  in  a  loose  wrapper,  with  a  look  of 
severity  and  decision  that  was  unusual  on  her 
flaccid,  good-natured  countenance.  "I  came 
down,  Miss  Maberly,"  she  said,  "to  ask  you 
to  tell  me  what  is  wrong  with  Evelyn.  I  can 
get  nothing  from  her — and  you  can  probably 
enlighten  me  if  you  choose.  Has  she  made  up 
her  mind  to  refuse  Mr.  Dallas,  or  has  she  not  ? 
If  she  has,  and  you  have  induced  her  to  do 
it,  may  Heaven  forgive  you  ! " 

"I  know  no  more  about  her  intentions 
than  you  do,"  I  replied    haughtily.     "If  she 


76     ©l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberls. 

refuses  Mr.  Dallas  it  will  not  be  through 
any  inducements  of  mine — and  it  is  useless 
to  demand  explanations  from  me  in  that  very 
peremptory  tone." 

She  changed  her  manner  at  once.  "  Was 
I  peremptory,  my  dear?  I'm  sure  I  didn't 
intend  to  be,  and  I  beg  your  pardon.  But  I 
am  so  worried   and    uneasy  about  it,   and  I 

thought  perhaps  you The  poor  child  is 

dreadfully  distressed  about  something.  I  was 
quite  shocked  when  I  went  in  to  see  how  ill 
she  was  looking,  and  I'm  sure  she  had  been 
crying.  She  has  been  trying  to  write  a  letter 
to  Hugh  Dallas,  I'm  afraid,  and  she  is  really 
unfit  for  it  just  now." 

Writing  to  him  !  Writing  to  tell  him — 
of  course  from  the  highest  and  most  unself- 
ish motives — what  she  had  just  wormed  out 
of  me,  to  propose  that  impossible  renuncia- 
tion to  him.  Could  the  most  feline  malice 
invent  a  more  crushing  and  humiliating  re- 
venge ? 

''Trying  to  write,"  I  repeated  ;  "then  she 
has  not  written  yet  ?  " 


(Elje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.      77 

"I  think  she  has  made  one  or  two  at- 
tempts and  torn  them  up." 

"Don't  let  her  write  to-night,"  I  said. 
"  Persuade  her  to  give  it  up  and  go  to  bed." 

"My  dear,  I  tried — but  she  declares  she 
can't  sleep  until  she  has  written.  I  wonder," 
she  added,  "whether  if  I  gave  her  just  a  few 
drops  of  that  sleeping  draught  you  have " 

"Do,"  I  said  eagerly.  "You  will  find  it 
on  my  table  ;  make  her  take  some  at  once." 

"You  are  sure  it  is  quite  safe  ?  " 

"Yes,  yes,  perfectly.  It  can  do  her  no 
harm.  The  dose  is  on  the  label  and  she 
ought  to  get  to  sleep  at  once,  and  not  think 
about  that  letter  till  morning." 

"She  will  be  really  ill  to-morrow  unless 
she  can  have  a  good  night's  rest,  and  I've 
no    bromide   or    sulphonal    or    anything.      I 

really  think  I  had  better On  your  table, 

you  said  ?  Then,  good-night,  my  dear,  and 
don't  sit  up  too  late  yourself,  for  I'm  sure  you 
look  as  if  you  needed  sleep  too." 

She  left  me  to  myself,  and  for  the  first 
time  I  was  thankful  for  her  fussiness,  for  her 


7&     ®f)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberlg. 

suggestion  of  the  sleeping  -  draught  would 
effectually  prevent  that  letter  from  being  writ- 
ten that  night.  To-morrow  I  would  see 
Evelyn  and  compel  her,  by  every  argument 
I  could  think  of,  to  abandon  her  quixotic  in- 
tention. 

If  she  could  only  be  induced  to  take  the 
draught  at  once.  I  wanted  to  be  sure.  I  felt 
stifled  indoors  ;  outside  there  would  be  air, 
and  I  might  find  out  what  I  was  so  anxious  to 
know.  It  was  easy  to  slip  back  a  bolt  or  two 
on  the  hall  door,  and  soon  I  was  outside  in 
the  warm  darkness. 

From  the  lawn  I  could  see  Evelyn's  win- 
dow. The  curtains  were  drawn,  but  above 
them  a  slender  bar  of  light  told  me  that  she 
was  still  up.  Perhaps  the  letter  was  now 
being  written  that  would  present  her  to  him 
as  more  angelic  and  adorable  than  ever;  and 
render  me  odious  and  despicable  in  his  eyes. 
Oh,  how  intensely  I  hated  her  at  that  mo- 
ment !  Whether  she  believed  herself  sincere, 
or  whether  she  was  the  most  consummate  of 
hypocrites,  she  was  equally  betraying  my  se- 


(Elje  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg.      79 

cret,  exposing  me  to  the  ignominy  of  being 
refused  by  the  man  to  whom  I  had  given  my 
heart  unasked. 

Was  it  then,  as  I  stood  there  under  the 
cedar,  that  it  flashed  across  my  mind  that  in 
the  medical  book  I  had  consulted  I  had  read 
a  statement  that  chloral,  even  in  the  smallest 
doses,  was  extremely  dangerous  in  any  case 
of  weakness  of  the  heart  ? 

And  had  not  Evelyn,  that  first  afternoon  as 
we  were  driving  from  the  station  together, 
told  me  that  once,  at  all  events,  her  heart  had 
been  considered  to  be  affected  ? 

I  have  tried  and  tried  in  vain  to  be  quite 
clear  when  this  first  occurred  to  me.  There  are 
even  times  when  I  have  terrible  doubts  whether 
both  these  facts  may  not  have  been  present  to 
my  mind  from  the  very  first — even  when  Mrs. 
Maitland  was  suggesting  chloral.  I  cling  to 
the  hope  that,  bitter  as  my  feelings  were 
towards  Evelyn,  I  was  guiltless,  even  in 
thought,  of  such  wickedness  as  that.  I  can- 
not believe  that  I  was  leally  capable  of  wil- 
fully allowing  her  to  encounter  any  peril  which 


80     ©|)e  Statement  of  Stella  iftaberlg. 

I  could  have  prevented.  I  have  enough  to 
reproach  myself  with,  God  knows,  without 
that  ! 

No,  it  was  not  till  later,  I  am  sure  of  that, 
not  till  the  moment  when,  as  I  stood  watch- 
ing, I  saw  the  bar  of  light  suddenly  die  out. 

And  then,  as  soon  as  I  realised  the  danger, 
my  first  impulse  was  to  rush  up,  arouse  Mrs. 
Maitland,  find  out  whether  the  drug  had  been 
taken  as  yet,  and  what  could  be  done. 

But  if  Evelyn  had  already  taken  the  chloral 
it  would  be  too  late  to  interfere.  She  might 
not  have  needed  it  at  all.  In  any  case,  was  it 
certain  that  it  would  do  her  the  slightest 
harm  ?  People  outgrew  weakness  of  the 
heart ;  she  was  no  longer  an  invalid — perhaps 
she  had  never  even  had  anything  really  wrong 
with  her  heart ;  young  girls  often  like  to 
fancy  they  are  suffering  from  some  interesting 
malady ;  doctors  can  make  mistakes. 

And  if  I  alarmed  Mrs.  Maitland  by  my  mis- 
givings, what  would  she  think  ?  Why,  that  I 
had  really  been  contemplating  Evelyn's  death, 
and  was  seized  with  tardy  remorse  !     I  should 


(Elje  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberls.      81 

be  exposing  myself  to  the  most  dreadful  sus- 
picions—  all  for  a  risk  which  most  likely 
only  existed  in  my  over-excited  imagina- 
tion. 

1  argued  all  this  with  myself  over  and  over 
again  as  I  walked  the  lawn  feverishly,  back- 
wards and  forwards,  unable  to  arrive  at  any 
conclusion  for  long,  until  at  last,  too  ex- 
hausted bodily  and  mentally  to  go  on  think- 
ing, I  sank  into  one  of  the  wicker  seats  that 
had  been  left  in  the  garden.  Why  torment 
myself  any  longer  when  no  action  was  pos- 
sible ?  It  was  out  of  my  hands  now  ;  and, 
besides — nothing  would  happen. 

And  then  I  was  so  worn  out  by  all  I  had 
gone  through  since  that  afternoon  that  I  sup- 
pose I  must  have  fallen  asleep  in  the  chair, 
for  I  was  not  conscious  of  anything  more  until 
I  was  roused  by  a  sense  of  chillness  in  the  air, 
and  opened  my  eyes  to  see  the  eaves  and 
gables  of  the  old  house  before  me  looking  un- 
naturally sharp  and  distinct  in  the  livid  light  of 
approaching  daybreak,  and  the  sky  above  al- 
ready starless  and  mottled  with  pearl  and  opal 


82     ®|)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg. 

clouds.  I  rose  shivering  and  went  indoors, 
still  overcome  with  drowsiness,  and,  once  in 
my  room,  threw  myself  on  my  bed  without 
undressing,  in  the  hope  that  sleep  would  come 
when  I  closed  my  eyes.  But  I  only  succeeded 
in  dozing  for  a  few  minutes  at  a  time,  and  soon 
the  daylight  that  filtered  in  through  my  blinds, 
and  the  first  feeble  cheeping  of  the  birds  out- 
side, made  even  this  impossible,  and  I  lay 
there,  trying  wearily  to  identify  the  various 
objects  in  the  room,  and  strangely  baffled  and 
irritated  by  being  unable  to  account  for  a 
grey  square  on  my  table  that  seemed  un- 
familiar. 

As  the  light  increased  it  revealed  the  square 
as  a  letter,  and  with  an  irrational  hope  of  find- 
ing it  a  note  from  Mrs.  Maitland  to  tell  me  that 
she  had  not  given  Evelyn  the  chloral,  I  sprang 
up  and  drew  the  curtains  in  order  to  read  it. 
Then  my  mind  would  be  set  at  rest,  and  I 
could  sleep. 

But  when  I  tore  the  envelope  open  it  was 
Evelyn's  handwriting  that  I  saw,  and  though 
it   is  long  since  I  last  had  that  letter  in  my 


®l)£  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.      83 

hands,  I  believe  I  can  remember  it  almost  word 
for  word,  as  I  read  it  then : 

"I  have  begun  this  several  times,"  she 
wrote,  "and  tore  it  up,  and  yet  I  can't  sleep 
until  I  have  put  an  end  to  all  this  misunder- 
standing. I  know  so  well  that  you  will  be 
even  more  wretched  than  I  am,  you  poor,  self- 
tormenting  Stella!  I  would  have  told  you — 
but  you  were  not  yourself,  you  would  not 
have  listened,  and  I  was  afraid  of  driving  you 
into  saying  or  doing  something  you  would  re- 
gret if  I  tried  any  more  just  then. 

"But  now  I  have  a  superstitious  feeling 
that,  if  I  don't  tell  you  at  once,  this  very  night, 
something  that  will  change  all  your  thoughts 
of  me,  you  may  never  know,  and  so,  perhaps, 
miss  a  great  happiness. 

"Hugh  is  nothing  to  me,  Stella,  has  never 
been  anything  but  a  very  dear  friend.  Per- 
haps, at  one  time,  at  Florence,  he  might — but 
I  felt  that  my  hold  on  life  was  so  slight  then 
that  I  had  no  right  to  let  him  care  for  me  in 
that  way.     And  since  then — where  were  your 


84     <El)e  Statement  of  Stella  fttaberis. 

eyes,  Stella,  that  you  could  not  see  how  de- 
votedly he  has  come  to  worship  you  ?  though 
he  almost  despaired  of  ever  touching  your 
heart.  You  were  so  proud,  so  resolute  in 
keeping  him  at  a  distance,  that  you  misled  us 
both.  I  quite  believed  that  you  had  taken  one 
of  your  obstinate  dislikes  to  him,  and  that  his 
only  chance  was  in  time  and  patience.  We 
had  long  and  anxious  consultations  over  it, 
and  I  could  only  promise  that  I  would  do  my 

best  for  him,  when  all  the  time !    If  you  had 

only  let  me  talk  to  you  about  him,  only  shown 
the  slightest  sign  of  interest,  I  would  have  told 
you  how  it  was  my  dearest  wish,  ever  since  I 
first  heard  he  was  a  neighbour  of  ours,  that  you 
and  he  might  make  each  other  happy. 

"But  I  know  now — and  I  understand  that 
you  were  silent  out  of  loyalty  to  me,  and  love 
and  admire  you  all  the  more  for  it,  and  I  mean 
to  make  you  happy  in  spite  of  your  wilful,  ob- 
stinate self,  for  I  made  him  promise  to  come 
over  to-morrow  as  usual,  in  case  I  could  in- 
duce you  to  relent.  I  can  tell  him  now — 
though  you  may  be  sure  that  I  shall  not  say  a 


©l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg.      85 


word  you  would  not  wish  me  to  say — but  I 
can  let  him  understand  that  you  feel  you  have 
been  too  hasty,  and  that  he  need  not  give  up 
all  hope  just  yet. 

"As  for  you  and  me,  Stella,  let  us  forget 
that  this  cloud  has  ever  come  between  us;  we 
will  never  speak  of  it,  never  think  of  it  again, 
unless  to  rejoice  that  it  has  passed  and  left 
our  love  all  the  firmer. 

"There  is  so  much  I  want  to  say — but  I 
am  too  tired  to  sit  up  any  longer,  and  1  feel  I 
shall  sleep  soundly  now.  I  shall  tell  Saunders 
to  put  this  on  your  dressing-table,  so  that  you 
will  see  it  before  you  go  to  bed,  and  now 
good-night,  Stella,  love  me  always,  and  never, 
never  have  bad  thoughts  about  me  again." 

Not  even  my  hard  and  embittered  heart 
could  be  proof  against  the  love  and  generosity 
and  delicacy  which  spoke  in  every  sentence  of 
this  letter  and  overwhelmed  me  with  shame 
and  contrition.  Was  there  ever  such  perver- 
sity of  misconstruction,  such  readiness  to  im- 
pute my  own  base  thoughts  to  others,  such 


86     ©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberla. 

ingenuity  in  making  myself  and  them  miser- 
able, as  I  had  been  guilty  of  all  these  wretched 
weeks  ? 

What  could  I  ever  say  and  do  to  show 
Evelyn  how  sincerely  I  repented  ?  That, 
though  she  had  forgiven  me,  I  could  never  en- 
tirely forgive  myself?  How  long  would  it  be 
before  I  could  go  to  her  room  and  pour  out 
all  my  penitence  and  gratitude  ?  How  impa- 
tiently I  realised  that  it  was  too  early  as  yet, 
that  I  must  not  venture  to  disturb  her  slumber 
for  several  hours  to  come. 

And  after  the  first  sharpness  of  shame  and 
remorse  I  began  to  feel  the  exquisite  thrill  of 
a  joy  that  would  not  be  quite  suppressed ;  in 
vain  I  tried  to  think  only  of  my  wickedness 
and  folly.  My  heart  would  throb  wildly  with 
the  knowledge  that  Hugh  Dallas  loved  me,  all 
unlovable  as  I  was,  that  an  immense,  unhoped- 
for happiness  was  coming  to  me  with  the 
brightness  of  the  summer  morning,  and  the 
expanding  flowers,  and  the  triumphant  trilling 
and  piping  of  birds. 

At  last  I  could  resist  the  impulse  to  go  to 


®t)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg.      87 

Evelyn  no  longer;  if  she  was  asleep,  I  would 
sit  beside  her  and  wait  until  she  awoke — I 
might  find  her  awake  already. 

I  went  to  her  door  and  opened  it  softly ; 
the  curtains  were  thick  and  shut  out  the  light 
so  effectually  that  all  was  grey  and  indistinct  at 
first,  but  I  could  see  that  Evelyn  was  still 
asleep,  lying  with  her  face  turned  from  me  and 
her  right  hand  extended,  palm  upwards,  as  if 
seeking  to  be  clasped.  I  laid  mine  upon  it — 
was  it  my  fancy  that  made  it  seem  so  strangely 
chill  and  unresponsive  ?  And  why  could  not 
my  ear  detect  any  sound  of  breathing  ?  I  rec- 
ollected the  chloral;  no  doubt  that  would  have 
produced  a  deeper  sleep  than  usual — I  was 
giving  way  to  fanciful  terrors  again ;  when  I 
had  let  in  the  light,  the  reassuring,  everyday 
light,  I  should  see  that  all  was  well. 

I  drew  the  curtains — softly,  for  fear  of  wak- 
ing her;  the  light  poured  in,  and  the  cool  air 
of  morning  met  my  cheeks  through  the  open 
casement.  Thrushes  were  hopping  about  the 
turf,  and  the  sky  between  the  cedar  branches 
was  tinged  with  saffron  and  rose. 


88     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberls- 

And  I  turned  and  saw  Evelyn's  face  and 
realised  the  cruel  and  awful  truth.  Nothing 
would  wake  her  any  more,  no  words  of  love 
and  sorrow  would  ever  reach  her.  She  was 
dead. 


V. 


I  think  that  even  those  who  have  felt  least 
sympathy  with  me  hitherto  will  find  some 
pity  for  me  now  in  the  first  terrible  shock  of 
my  discovery  that  Evelyn  was  dead. 

I  refused  to  believe  it  at  first,  in  spite  of 
appearances.  I  tried  every  restorative,  every 
test  I  could  think  of — and  all  was  in  vain,  until 
in  my  despair  I  felt  something  like  anger  with 
the  form  that  lay  there,  so  still  and  passive, 
with  the  lips  parted  in  a  half  smile  that  seemed 
a  tender  mockery  of  my  efforts. 

She  was  dead,  and  I  might  rouse  the  house 
and  send  for  doctors,  but  nothing  would  make 
any  difference — they  would  only  tell  me  what  I 
knew  already.  I  recognised  at  last  how  use- 
less it  was  to  seek  any  longer  for  signs  of  the 
life  that  had  fled,  and  I  stood  there  in  a  dazed 
stupor,    repeating   to   myself,    over  and   over 

7  89 


9©     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlp.. 

again,  "  Evelyn  is  dead.  She  will  never  know 
now  how  bitterly  I  repent,  how  dearly  I  love 
her.  I  shall  never  hear  her  speak  to  me  again. 
She  is  dead — quite  dead — "  until  the  words 
lost  their  meaning. 

If  only,  even  now,  I  could  wake  to  find  it 
all  a  ghastly  dream — but  no,  I  knew  it  was 
too  hideously  real,  the  horrible  irony  of  having 
been  so  near  happiness  and  missing  it  thus. 
The  thought  of  all  that  hung  upon  Evelyn's 
life,  the  part  she  was  to  have  taken  in  bring- 
ing Hugh  Dallas  and  me  together,  and  the  im- 
passable gulf  her  death  had  set  between  us — 
all  this  came  upon  me  with  crushing  force, 
and  I  fell  on  my  knees,  writhing,  in  speech- 
less, tearless  agony,  by  the  bed  where  she  lay 
unheeding — and  out  in  the  garden  the  pitiless 
birds  sang  louder  and  merrier  every  moment. 

I  knew  I  ought  to  take  some  action,  call 
someone,  not  to  leave  the  household  any 
longer  in  ignorance  of  what  had  happened, 
but  I  could  not  stir.  I  would  wait  a  little 
longer  still ;  there  might — who  knew  ? — there 
might  be  a  miracle  wrought,  if  I  prayed,  if  I 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberls.      91 

wrestled  hard  enough  with  Heaven  to  give 
me  back  my  dead.  God  had  heard  such 
prayers  before;  would  He  be  more  cruel  to 
me  when  my  need  was  as  great  as — nay, 
greater  far  than  that  of  those  others  ?  Surely 
He  would  see  that  my  punishment  was  heavier 
already  than  I  could  bear. 

And  I  prayed — unceasingly,  frantically, 
seeking  by  passionate  entreaties,  arguments, 
promises,  to  move  that  far-off  Tribunal  to  set 
back  its  decrees,  just  this  once  more,  and 
allow  this  one  soul  to  return  through  the  gates 
that  had  scarcely  closed  as  yet.  Was  not  all 
possible  to  an  omnipotent  and  merciful  God  ? 

Thus  I  entreated  and  implored — but  there 
was  no  answering  sign.  God  saw  my  misery 
and  heeded  it  not;  it  was  useless  to  appeal 
any  longer,  since  He  was  either  indifferent  or 
powerless,  and  then  in  my  reckless  raving  I 
besought  whatever  power  there  might  be — 
good  or  evil,  angel  or  devil,  on  earth  or  in  hell 
— that  heard  me,  to  come  to  my  aid  now  in 
my  desperate  extremity,  and  make  that  which 
was  dead  alive. 


92     (Elje  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlj). 

But  hardly  had  the  impious  words  left  my 
lips  than  I  was  appalled  at  my  blasphemy,  and 
implored  that  my  Creator  would  pardon  me 
for  even  momentarily  doubting  His  omnipo- 
tence, and  show  me  of  His  infinite  mercy  and 
goodness — even  now,  little  as  I  deserved  it. 

And,  while  I  still  knelt,  the  sun  rose  and 
shot  a  level  ray  of  crimson  gold  into  the  room, 
suffusing  Evelyn's  pale,  pure  face  with  the  hue 
of  life  and  health,  until,  as  I  looked,  the  illu- 
sion was  so  powerful  that  I  buried  my  face  in 
the  bedclothes  lest  I  might  be  cheated  into 
hope. 

For  I  knew  then,  as  I  had  known  all  the 
time,  that  I  was  asking  the  impossible;  the 
age  of  miracles  was  past — the  dead  return  to 
us  no  more.  I  must  try  to  bear  my  load  of 
grief  and  remorse  with  patience,  until  Heaven 
saw  fit  to  let  us  meet  again,  and  all  would  be 
understood  and  forgiven. 

But  suddenly  I  became  aware  of  a  slight 
stir  beneath  the  coverlet,  a  sound  like  the 
faintest  sigh.  I  raised  my  head,  hardly  daring 
to  hope  that  my  senses  had    not   duped  me 


(The  Statement  of  Stella  iflabrrlp.      93 

afresh — and  then,  with  a  relief  so  acute  and 
overpowering  that  it  was  almost  agonising, 
and  a  mental  shock  that  numbed  my  brain  for 
the  moment.  I  saw  Evelyn's  breast  heave  and 
her  evelids  quiver  and  her  eyes  light  up  with 
the  life  that  a  moment  before  seemed  to  have 
died  out  of  them  for  ever! 

I  caught  her  slight,  unresisting  form  in  my 
arms  and  kissed  the  sweet,  wondering  f.  ; . 
calling  her  by  the  maddest,  fondest  nan- 
laughing  and  weeping,  beside  myself  with  the 
unspeakable  joy  of  finding  her  warm  and  liv- 
ing, who  but  just  now  had  lain  there  dead 
and  cold. 

She  submitted  to  my  caresses  without  re- 
turning them,  seeming  but  half  awake  :  a 
strange  wonder  still  lingered  in  her  eyes,  as 
though  they  had  looked  upon  the  secrets  of 
the  life  bevond  and  could  not  forget  them  all 
at  once  ;  her  very  smile  was  charged  v. 
mystery. 

••Where  am  I  ?  '  she  said  dreamily. 
"How  do  I  come  to  be  here,  and  who  .  re 
you  : 


94     ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 


"Evelyn!"  I  cried;  "don't  you  know 
me  ?  I  am  Stella— Stella  Maberly.  Say  that 
you  are  beginning  to  remember — that  you 
forgive  me  for  all  I  said  and  did  last 
night!" 

"Last  night!"  she  repeated  vaguely. 
"Tell  me,  Stella,  for  I  seem  to  have  forgot- 
ten." 

Brokenly  and  incoherently  I  poured  out  my 
confession,  keeping  back  nothing,  exaggerat- 
ing rather  than  extenuating  all  my  harsh 
words  and  evil  thoughts.  I  told  her  of  the 
chloral ;  I  accused  myself  of  being  her  mur- 
deress in  all  but  deed.  I  described  how  I 
had  read  her  letter,  and  come  in — to  find  her 
lying  there,  to  all  appearances  dead. 

She  covered  her  eyes  with  her  slender 
hands  for  a  minute  or  so,  as  if  to  reflect  and 
remember,  and  then  she  looked  at  me,  still 
with  that  questioning  scrutiny.  "  I  do  begin 
to  recollect  now,"  she  said  slowly.  "What  a 
fright  you  must  have  had,  Stella!  But  what 
has  become  of  the  chloral  ?  Oh,  I  see— you 
had  presence  of  mind  enough  to  get  rid  of  it 


®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  itlaberls.      95 


as  soon  as  you  saw  what  had  happened.     That 
was  prudent  ! " 

The  phial  was  certainly  gone,  as  I  noticed 
now  for  the  first  time. 

"Evelyn!"  I  cried,  sorely  hurt.  "You 
can't  really  suppose  I  could  think  of  any  dan- 
ger to  myself  then!  As  if  anything  could 
matter  but  that  I  had  lost  you.  I  could  only 
pray — and  God  heard  me.  He  has  let  you 
come  back  to  me,  oh,  my  dear  !  my  dear  ! 
He  has  let  you  come  back!  " 

She  let  her  hands  lie  passively  in  mine, 
and  lay  smiling,  with  a  soft  gleam  under  her 
half-shut  eyelids. 

"He  has  let  me  come  back,"  she  said. 
' '  How  good  of  Him !  How  grateful  you  must 
be — and  what  much  greater  care  you  will  take 
of  me  for  the  future,  will  you  not,  Stella?" 

There  was  something  in  her  tone  which 
was  not  exactly  flippancy  or  mockery,  but 
rather  a  touch  of  delicate  irony,  which,  how- 
ever playful  and  affectionate,  jarred  on  me  at 
such  a  moment.  Irony  of  any  sort  was  so  un- 
like Evelyn.     But  how  co-Id  I  give  such  a 


96     ®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberls- 

trifle  more  than  a  passing  thought  in  the  rap- 
ture I  felt  at  having  her  back  alive  and  well  ? 
I  could  only  again  protest  my  shame  for  hav- 
ing misjudged  her,  my  willingness  to  be  her 
devoted  friend,  her  servant,  her  slave,  any- 
thing she  would  permit  me  to  be — in  future, 
and  beg  her  for  some  assurance  that  I  had  not 
quite  lost  her  confidence  and  affection,  in  spite 
of  all  my  unworthiness. 

''You  must  give  me  time,  Stella,"  she  said 
languidly.  "I  don't  understand  it  all  yet — 
there  is  a  great  deal  that  I  have  to  get  accus- 
tomed to1;  everything  seems  strange,  even 
this  place,  as  if  I  had  been  away  a  long,  long 
time.     I  want  to  be  alone  and  think." 

I  could  readily  understand  that  the  effect  of 
the  opiate  had  not  quite  worn  off  as  yet,  and 
that  she  must  have  been  shocked,  and  bewil- 
dered, too,  by  my  overstrung  and  hysterical 
confessions,  so  I  left  her  to  recover  full  pos- 
session of  her  faculties  in  peace. 

It  was  still  early,  but  I  was  too  excited  and 
happy  to  sleep.  I  had  my  bath,  dressed  and 
went  down  to  the  garden,  to  taste  the  full 


©lie  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.      97 

sweetness  of  the  contrast  between  my  present 
bliss  and  my  condition  when  I  last  paced 
those  paths  in  miserable  uncertainty  and  dread 
a  few  short  hours  ago. 

Standing  there  in  the  fresh  morning  air, 
watching  the  first  spiral  of  smoke  ascend  from 
the  old  chimney-stacks  into  the  golden-blue 
sky,  and  hearing  the  cheerful  sounds  of  awak- 
ening life  from  the  offices  and  stables,  it  was 
impossible  to  retain  the  idea  of  any  supernatu- 
ral element  in  Evelyn's  recovery  of  animation. 
I  could  see  now  that  no  miracle  had  happened; 
the  drug  had  thrown  her  into  a  sleep  so  pro- 
found that  it  had  the  appearance  of  death,  and 
my  conscious-stricken  imagination  had  led  me 
to  believe  the  worst.  But,  whether  I  had 
cause  or  not  for  gratitude,  I  did  feel  deeply 
thankful  to  Heaven  when  I  thought  of  the 
anguish  and  desolation  which  this  day  had 
seemed  so  certain  to  bring,  and  which  I  had 
been  spared. 

And  soon  even  this  was  forgotten  in  the 
recollection  of  what  Evelyn  had  told  me  of 
Hugh  Dallas.     I  should  see  him  so  soon — this 


98     ®f)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlB. 

very  afternoon,  perhaps,  and  she  would  have 
reassured  him,  he  would  understand  at  least 
that  there  was  hope  for  him  if  he  still  cared 
to  persevere.  And  if  he  did  care — as  I  knew 
he  would — I  should  act  the  woman's  delicious 
comedy  of  seeming  gradually  to  soften  towards 
the  man  she  secretly  adores,  here,  in  this  dear 
old  garden-world,  through  the  golden  hours 
that  were  coming  to  me. 

A  new  radiance  was  on  the  familiar  land- 
scape. Everything  I  saw  around  me  had  be- 
come strange  and  wondrous  and  beautiful; 
the  ripple  of  light  and  shade  over  the  distant 
cornfields,  the  long  violet  shadows  cast  by  the 
trees  on  the  dew-silvered  pasture  land,  the 
colour  and  fragrance  of  the  flowers,  the  flit- 
ting of  yellow  butterflies  about  the  lawn,  every 
common  thing,  in  short,  filled  me  with  a 
keenness  of  delight  that  was  like  an  additional 
sense. 

This  state  of  rapturous  ecstasy  made  me 
lose  all  count  of  time,  and  I  was  startled  to 
find  that  I  had  been  roaming  about  for  hours, 
and  that  the  gong  was  sounding  for  breakfast. 


QL\)£  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberls-      99 

Neither  Evelyn  nor  her  aunt  had  come 
down  as  yet,  and,  as  I  waited  for  them,  I 
wondered  how  I  had  never  before  appreciated 
the  charm  of  the  long,  low-ceilinged  morning- 
room  with  its  panelled  walls  and  stately  old 
furniture  ;  the  sun  had  not  as  yet  struck  fur- 
ther in  than  the  faded  crimson  of  the  window 
cushions,  though  it  shone  in  full  glare  upon 
the  conservatory  at  the  further  end,  where  the 
masses  of  bloom  and  transparent  green  foliage 
made  a  vivid  contrast  to  the  cool,  subdued 
light  of  the  room  itself.  The  very  breakfast- 
table,  with  its  dainty  china  and  gleaming  sil- 
ver, heightened  the  luxurious  sense  of  well- 
being  and  the  delightfulness  of  mere  existence, 
which  made  the  world  seem  so  good  to  live 
in  that  morning. 

And  yet,  when  Evelyn  appeared,  as  she 
did  presently  with  Mrs.  Maitland,  I  felt,  al- 
most from  the  moment  she  entered,  as  if  my 
exhilaration  had  received  an  unaccountable 
check. 

Why,  I  could  not  understand  ;  she  was 
looking  brighter  and   fresher   than    she   had 


ioo    ©|)c  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg. 

done  for  weeks.  She  greeted  me  with  a 
gaiety  and  good-humour  that  seemed  to 
ignore  all  that  had  happened — and  yet  I 
could  not  resist  an  uneasy  fancy  that  in 
some  way  her  attitude  to  me  had  changed, 
that  my  impulsive  confession  had  killed  for 
ever  the  guileless  trust  and  affection  she  had 
given  me  before. 

After  we  had  sat  down  to  breakfast  and 
the  butler  had  left  the  room,  she  said  : 
"Aunt  Lucy  has  been  paying  me  the  most 
extravagant  compliments  on  my  appearance, 
Stella.  I  hope  you  see  an  improvement  in 
me  too  ?  " 

"You  are  looking  wonderfully  well,  dear 
Evelyn,"  I  said.  "Better  than  I  could  have 
hoped." 

"Hoped — when?"  she  said  ;  "last  night 
— or  early  this  morning?" 

I  could  not  answer.  The  tone  in  which 
she  asked  the  question,  rather  than  the  ques- 
tion itself,  sent  a  chill  to  my  heart.  I  could 
not  have  believed  that  she  would  treat  so 
lightly  what  had  passed  between  us. 


Stye  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberls-    i°i 


"Stella  came  into  my  room  this  morning, 
Aunt  Lucy,  and  found  me  so  sound  asleep 
that  she  fancied  I  was  never  going  to  wake 
again,"  she  explained. 

"Indeed,  my  dear,  you  were  only  half 
awake  when  I  came  in  to  see  you  just  now," 
said  her  aunt,  "for  you  didn't  know  me  in 
the  least.  I  assure  you,  Miss  Maberly,  I  posi- 
tively had  to  tell  her  who  I  was." 

"Wasn't  it  stupid  of  me?"  said  Evelyn. 
"And  I  frightened  poor  Stella  so  that  she 
said  the  wildest  things.  She  was  quite 
persuaded  that  she  had  killed  me  —  why, 
is  more  than  I  quite  understand,  even  now. 
What  made  you  imagine  yourself  so  guilty, 
Stella  ?  " 

I  looked  at  her  appealingly  ;  her  eyes  met 
mine  with  a  malicious  challenge  in  them 
which  I  knew  I  could  not  avoid  by  silence. 
"I  told  you,"  I  said,  in  a  voice  I  could  not 
steady.      "I    told    you    that    I    thought   the 

chloral "     I  could  not  finish  the  sentence, 

the  recollection  of  all  the  agony  of  those 
minutes  overpowered  me. 


102    fElje  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberls- 

"Ah,  the  chloral — I  remember  now,"  she 
said.  "Aunt  Lucy  tells  me  she  took  it 
away  last  night,  and  it  will  be  a  great  relief 
to  me,  Stella,  if  you  will  let  it  remain  in  her 
keeping.  It  is  such  a  dangerous  drug  that 
I  do  trust  you  will  have  nothing  to  do  with 
it  in  future — one  so  easily  makes  mistakes.*' 

I  could  not  trust  myself  to  reply.  I  knew 
too  well  that  all  these  speeches,  though 
worded  so  as  to  convey  nothing  of  their 
real  significance  to  any  ear  but  mine,  were 
so  many  deliberate  taunts.  Why  did  she 
take  this  cat-like  pleasure  in  torturing  me — 
she,  who  had  never  before  uttered  a  cruel 
word  ?  Any  other  sign  of  estrangement  I 
could  have  understood — but  this  was  too 
utterly  foreign  to  all   my  conceptions  of  her. 

Mrs.  Maitland  saw,  I  think,  that  the  sub- 
ject was  distressing  to  me,  and,  with  her 
usual  good-nature,  turned  it  off  by  remark- 
ing how  delighted  she  was  to  see  that 
Evelyn  had  at  last  recovered  her  appetite. 
I  had  already  noticed  that  Evelyn  was  eating 
more    heartily   than    I    ever   remembered    to 


®lje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.    103 

have  seen  her,  and  with  a  daintily  sensuous 
enjoyment,  which  somehow  made  her  seem 
more  charming. 

"I'm  ravenous  this  morning,"  she  said. 
"I  feel  as  if  I  had  eaten  nothing  for  ages. 
You  must  try  not  to  feel  horrified,  both  of 
you." 

"My  dear,"  replied  her  aunt,  "I'm  sure 
we  are  both  only  too  pleased  to  see  such  a 
change.  I  really  think  this  country  life  has 
begun  to  do  you  good  at  last.  You  have 
certainly  come  down  quite  a  different  creature 
this  morning." 

"A  different  creature,"  she  repeated  with 
a  gay  little  laugh  ;  "is  that  your  opinion  of 
me,  Stella?  You  are  bound  to  put  up  with 
me  at  all  events,  are  you  not,  whatever  I 
am. 

When  breakfast  was  over,  and  she  and 
I  were  in  the  room  alone  together,  she 
wound  her  arm  round  me  and  drew  me  up 
to  an  old-fashioned  mirror  in  a  tortoise-shell 
frame  that  hung  on  one  of  the  walls. 
"Come  and  help  me  to  make  the  acquaint- 


104   ®f)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

ance  of  my  new  self,"  she  said.  "  I  want 
to  know  whether  you  approve  of  me. 
Really,  I  think  you  ought  to  feel  satisfied. 
/  do." 

As  I  stood  there  and  saw  our  two  faces  re- 
flected side  by  side,  I  thought  that  surely  Eve- 
lyn had  never  looked  so  lovely  before,  her 
cheeks  had  never  worn  so  vivid  a  rose,  her 
eyes  had  never  shone  with  that  starry  radiance, 
her  smile  had  never  been  so  dazzling — and  yet, 
even  while  I  felt  her  arm  pressing  me  closer  to 
her,  I  could  not  prevent  a  shiver  of  apprehen- 
sion, a  growing  distrust  and  dread  which  I 
knew  to  be  unreasonable. 

She  noticed  the  pallor  and  trouble  in  my 
face,  the  uncontrollable  shrinking  under  her 
embrace. 

"Why,  Stella,"  she  said,  in  a  tone  be- 
tween amusement  and  concern,  "you  are 
trembling!  Is  it  possible  that  you  can  be 
afraid — of  me?" 

"I— I  don't  know,"  I  faltered.  "I  don't 
think  I  am  afraid — I  don't  want  to  be! " 

"Up  there — in  that  room — you  promised 


Qi\)c  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls.    105 

to  love  me  more  devotedly  than  ever,"  she 
said  softly.     "  Is  this  how  you  begin  ?  " 

"  You  won't  let  me,"  I  cried.  "  You  have 
not  forgiven  me.  If  you  had,  you  would  not 
delight  in  reminding  me  of  what  you  know 
must  give  me  pain,  of  what  I  would  willingly 
forget.  You  don't  look  at  me  as  if  you  loved 
me — and  it  frightens  me,  Evelyn.  There  is  a 
change  in  you,  and  I  see  it! " 

She  shrugged  her  shoulders.  "Naturally, 
there  is  a  change — after  what  has  happened," 
she  said.  "But,  think — would  you  rather 
that  your  beloved  Evelyn  was  lying,  white 
and  cold  and  silent  for  ever,  upstairs  at  this 
moment  than  have  me  here  by  your  side? 
What  is  done  cannot  be  undone — and  it  will 
be  wiser  of  you  to  accept  me  as  I  am." 

"  You  can't  believe  that  I  am  anything  but 
unspeakably  glad  and  grateful  that  you  are 
spared  to  me — whether  you  love  me  or  not!  " 
I  cried  passionately.  "Say,  at  least — at  least 
— that  you  don't  doubt  that!  " 

"I  do  not  doubt  it,"  she  replied.  "You 
have  too  much  reason  to  be  both,  my  dear. 


106    ®|)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberls. 

Only,  I  expect  to  be  given  proofs  of  your  sin- 
cerity— that  is  all.  There,  don't  distress  your- 
self any  more  about  it.  I  have  no  ill-feeling 
whatever  towards  you — why  should  I  ?" 

She  kissed  me  with  a  kind  of  careless,  half- 
contemptuous  clemency  as  she  spoke,  but  I 
could  not  feel  consoled  or  reassured.  It  was 
too  plain  that  the  sudden  discovery  of  my  base- 
ness had,  for  the  time,  shaken  her  faith  in 
friendship,  and  driven  her  into  cynical  dis- 
belief in  any  disinterested  affection.  I  had 
tried  her  too  far,  and  done  harm  that  it  would 
be  long  before  I  could  entirely  repair,  if  it  ever 
could  be  entirely  repaired. 

It  was  my  punishment,  and  I  must  accept 
it,  since  I  had  deserved  a  far  heavier  penalty 
even  than  the  forfeiture  of  Evelyn's  confidence. 
I  might  have  lost  her. 

A  little  later  we  were  in  the  garden  when 
Mrs.  Maitland  came  out.  "  I  only  wanted  to 
know,  dear  Evelyn,"  she  said,  "before  I  saw 
the  cook,  whether  it  is  at  all  likely  that  Mr. 
Dallas  may  dine  with  us  this  evening;  that  is, 
if  he  is  coming  over  this  afternoon  ?  "     There 


®l)C  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg.     107 

was  an  irrepressible  curiosity  in  her  eyes  as 
she  looked  at  Evelyn,  which  showed  that  her 
question  was  not  wholly  prompted  by  house- 
hold considerations. 

"Mr.  Dallas?"  said  Evelyn,  with  apparent 
unconcern.  "Is  he  coming  over?  Very  likely 
he  may.  You  had  better  ask  Stella,  had  you 
not  ?  " 

"Nonsense,  my  dear!"  said  Mrs.  Maitland, 
with  some  irritation,  "it  is  a  question  for  you 
and  nobody  else,  and  really,  I  think  it  is  time 
you  took  me  a  little  more  into  your  confidence, 
and  I  must  have  a  little  private  talk  with  you 
on  the  subject.  I  am  sure  Miss  Maberly  will 
excuse  us." 

She  drew  Evelyn  away,  and  I  heard  no 
more,  but  I  could  see  them  walking  up  and 
down  the  paths  in  the  fruit  garden,  Evelyn 
bending  her  graceful  head  in  demure  attention, 
or  occasionally  stopping  to  strip  off  a  bunch  of 
currants  as  she  passed,  and  Mrs.  Maitland  talk- 
ing earnestly  and  emphatically. 

Presently  Evelyn  returned  alone,  and  threw 
herself  into  a  chair  by  my  side. 


io8    ®|)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlg. 


"Have  you  told  her?"  I  asked  impul- 
sively. 

"  I  think  my  invaluable  Aunt  Lucy  monop- 
olised the  conversation,"  said  Evelyn,  smiling, 
more  to  herself  than  to  me.  "She  was  most 
informing.     Have  I  told  her  what,  Stella?" 

"Ah,  you  know/"  I  exclaimed.  "And — 
and  don't  you  see  that  Mrs.  Maitland  believes 
that  Hugh  —  Mr.  Dallas,  is  in  love  with 
you  ?  " 

"She  made  no  secret  of  it,"  said  Evelyn. 
"  And  if  he  is,  my  dear,  what  then  ?  " 

"  Can  you  ask  ?  After  the  letter  you  wrote 
me — 0nly  last  night  ?  You  cannot  have  for- 
gotten!" 

"Absolutely — my  mind  is  a  perfect  blank 
on  the  subject.  I  gather  from  you  that  you 
and  I  quarrelled  last  night,  rather  seriously. 
Was  it  about  this  Hugh  Dallas,  by  any 
chance  ?  " 

"  You  only  pretend  to  be  ignorant  to  pun- 
ish me.     You  must  remember!  " 

"All  that  happened  before  this  morning, 
my  dear  Stella.     I  can  remember  nothing  until 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.    109 

I  am  reminded.  Show  me  this  letter,  and  no 
doubt  it  will  enlighten  me." 

It  was  not  altogether  surprising  that  the 
draught  should  have  left  a  cloud  upon  her 
memory.  I  went  up  to  my  room  and  got  the 
letter,  which  I  gave  to  her  without  a  word,  and 
knelt  by  her  chair  as  she  turned  the  pages  and 
read  to  the  end,  with  slightly  raised  brows  and 
eyes,  in  whose  brightness  there  was  no  touch 
of  softening. 

"Rather  a  sentimental  effusion!"  she  said 
at  length.  "Am  I  expected  to  be  responsible 
for  it  ?  " 

"  For  God's  sake  don't  sneer  at  it!"  I  ex- 
claimed, on  the  verge  of  a  flood  of  tears.  "  It 
was  written  from  the  noblest  and  most  gener- 
ous impulse  any  woman  could  feel.  I  know 
it  is  all  different  now.  I  have  lost  your  respect 
— you  despise  me — but,  oh,  Evelyn,  don't 
abandon  me  altogether — don't  take  this  away 
from  me  too !  You  promised — you  promised. 
You  knozo  I  cannot  speak  to  him  myself.  And 
if  you  do  not,  he  will  go — and  I  shall  die!  " 

"Need   we   be   quite   so   tragic  over  this 


no    (fttje  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberls. 

affair?"  she  said.  "I  have  never  said  that  I 
was  unwilling  to  carry  out  the  promise  in  this 
letter.  I  have  no  animosity  against  you.  On 
the  contrary,  I  feel  considerably  indebted  to 
you,  as  you  may  understand.  And  if  this  lover 
of  yours  is  really  so  faint-hearted  or  so  stupid 
as  to  need  any  encouragement  from  me,  he 
shall  have  it.  What  do  you  wish  me  to  tell 
him?" 

"Tell  him  what  you  will,"  I  said,  "lam 
below  pride  now.  Tell  him  that  I  love  him 
with  all  my  heart,  as  he  loves  me  .  .  .  Eve- 
lyn," I  broke  off,  as  a  sudden,  terrible  doubt 
struck  me,  "you — you  did  not  write  this  to 
mock  me  ?  You  are  sure  he  does  love  me  ? 
Is  it  true  that  he  told  you  so  with  his  own 
lips?" 

"As  true  as  that  I  wrote  this  letter,"  she 
said,  "which,  by  the  way,  is  not  worth  pre- 
serving," and  she  tore  it  up  as  she  spoke. 
"  Leave  it  to  me,  my  dear.  If  there  is  any- 
thing I  can  do  to  bring  about  a  better  under- 
standing between  you  and  this  Hugh  Dallas  it 
shall  be  done." 


&l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls. 


in 


I  could  not  look  into  her  candid  eyes  and 
doubt  her  any  longer.  I  wondered  how  I 
could  ever  have  felt  even  a  passing  distrust.  I 
had  disappointed  her,  shaken  her  faith  in  me, 
but  hers  was  not  the  nature  to  allow  that  to 
affect  her  conduct.  My  future  was  as  safe  in 
her  gentle  hands  as  before. 

"I  ought  to  have  known,"  I  said  grate- 
fully ;  "you  are  too  sweet  and  generous  not 
to  forgive.  But  you  will  tell  him  soon — will 
you  not  ?  You  won't  keep  me  or — or  him 
longer  in  suspense  than  you  can  help  ?  " 

"Isn't  he  coming  this  afternoon?"  she 
said  lightly.  "I  suppose  I  shall  have  an  op- 
portunity of  seeing  him  then — and  in  the  mean- 
time, my  dear,  you  must  contrive  to  control 
your  impatience." 

Hugh  Dallas  did  come  that  afternoon,  to 
find  us  sitting  on  the  lawn  in  the  shade,  as  on 
his  first  visit  to  Tansted.  I  thought  him  paler, 
and  though  we  shook  hands  as  if  we  had 
parted  on  the  most  ordinary  and  amicable 
terms,  he  avoided  looking  at  me,   preferring, 


ii2    gTlje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

it  seemed,  to  read  his  answer  in  Evelyn's  face 
rather  than  mine.  But  for  this  I  was  grateful, 
for  I  had  been  afraid  that  my  countenance 
would  betray  me  only  too  clearly. 

It  was  evident  that  he  was  struck  at  once 
by  her  marvellous  recovery  of  health  and  ani- 
mation. I  thought  he  gathered  that  it  was  of 
good  omen  for  him,  for  he  scarcely  took  his 
eyes  from  her  face,  and  his  own  brightened. 

"You  look  at  me  as  if  you  had  never  seen 
me  before!  "  she  said  laughing. 

"I  could  almost  believe  some  miracle  had 
happened  to  you,"  he  replied.  "I  certainly 
never  saw  you  looking  so  wonderfully  well 
before." 

"  I  feel  as  if  I  had  been  given  a  fresh  lease 
of  life,"  she  said.  "But  if  there  has  been 
anything  miraculous  about  it,  it  is  Stella  you 
have  to  thank  for  it." 

"Miss  Maberly?"  he  cried,  and  then  he 
looked  at  me  for  the  first  time,  and  1  saw 
anxiety,  bewilderment,  I  know  not  what  con- 
flict of  hope  and  fear  passing  over  his  face, 
before  I  turned  my  eyes  away. 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.    113 

He  said  something  to  her  in  so  low  a  tone 
that  it  escaped  me,  but  I  gathered  that  she 
was  playfully  declining  to  enlighten  him  any 
further  just  then,  and  shortly  afterwards  tea 
was  brought  out  and  Mrs.  Maitland  joined  us, 
when  he  was  obliged  to  wait  for  a  more  con- 
venient moment. 

I  sat  silent,  but  very  happy,  especially  after 
I  noted  the  eagerness  with  which  he  accepted 
Evelyn's  invitation  to  dine  at  Tansted  that 
evening.  I  knew  that  I  should  not  have  to 
be  cruel  to  him  or  to  myself  very  much  longer. 

I  laughed  inwardly  when  Mrs.  Maitland, 
under  the  transparent  pretext  of  consulting  me 
on  the  arrangement  of  the  flowers  at  table, 
drew  me  into  the  house. 

"  I  thought  we  would  leave  them  to  them- 
selves a  little,  my  dear,"  she  confided  to  me, 

"because  this  time,  I  really  think This 

wonderful  change  in  her,  you  know.  Depend 
upon  it,  she  has  been  fretting  and  making 
herself  ill  all  this  time  because  she  couldn't 
make  up  her  mind  whether  she  cared  enough 
for  him — and  now  her  last  doubts  have  disap- 


H4   ®b«  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls. 

peared,  her  health  and  spirits  have  come  back 
immediately.  Last  night  was  evidently  the 
crisis." 

I  humoured  her,  with  a  secret  enjoyment 
of  the  surprise  that  awaited  the  unsuspecting 
lady,  and  of  the  very  different  result  that  she 
was  so  innocently  helping  to  further,  but  I 
was  only  too  glad  to  leave  Hugh  in  Evelyn's 
hands.  An  hour  or  so  later  I  watched  him 
from  my  window  riding  down  the  avenue  on 
his  way  home  to  dress,  and  thought  I  detected 
a  buoyant  hopefulness  in  the  air  with  which 
he  sat  his  horse. 

He  knew  the  truth  now,  or  as  much  of  it 
as  Evelyn  had  thought  fit  to  tell  him  ;  he  un- 
derstood at  last  that  he  need  not  fear  another 
repulse  from  me. 

How  lovingly  I  lingered  over  dressing  that 
evening,  with  a  tender,  unfamiliar  delight  in 
adorning  myself  for  his  eyes.  I  put  on  my 
prettiest  gown  ;  I  felt  a  glad  pride  in  the 
knowledge  that  I  was  looking  even  better 
than  I  could  have  hoped. 

I  was  ready.     I  went  across   to  Evelyn's 


©tje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.    "5 

room  and  found  her  standing  before  the  long 
mirror.  I  was  positively  startled  as  I  realised 
how  wondrously  lovely  she  was  in  her  pale 
shimmering  gown,  her  fair  neck  and  shoulders 
set  off  by  deep  flounces  of  lace  which  fell  over 
her  breast  and  arms,  one  hand  hovering  like  a 
white  butterfly  over  her  golden  head  as  she 
gave  the  final  touch  to  the  ornament  in  her 
hair.  I  had  never  seen  her  look  so  bewitch- 
ingly  beautiful  ;  even  the  maid  who  stood  by 
was  staring  at  her  in  a  sort  of  fascination. 

When  she  had  been  sent  out  of  the  room, 
I  went  up  to  Evelyn  and  put  my  hands  on  her 
shoulders.  "Does  he  know?"  I  whispered. 
"  You  have  told  him  ?  " 

She  laughed.  "  I  could  hardly  tell  him 
you  were  dying  of  love  for  him — could  I, 
Stella  ?  But  I  said  as  much  as  I  could  for  you, 
and  I  fancy  he  is  beginning  to  suspect  that  he 
has  been  extraordinarily  blind.  I  should  not 
be  surprised  if  he  found  an  opportunity  of  com- 
ing to  a  better  understanding  with  you  before 
long " 

"How  can  I  thank  you?    I  shall  owe  it 


n6    ®|}£  Statement  of  Stella  fttaberlg. 

all  to  you.  And — I  love  him  so  much,  Eve- 
lyn. If  I  could  make  you  understand  what  it 
means  to  me  ?  " 

"My  dear,"  she  said,  "I  understand. 
You  owe  me  nothing  at  all.  And,  as  those 
are  probably  the  wheels  of  his  dog-cart  I  hear, 
perhaps  you  will  leave  off  crushing  my  poor 
lace  and  we  will  go  downstairs." 

I  was  hoping  that  there  would  be  some- 
thing— a  glance,  a  pressure  of  the  hand — by 
which  Hugh  Dallas  would  convey  to  me  when 
we  met  that  he  was  conscious  that  the  cloud 
between  us  had  lifted,  though,  as  I  told  myself 
the  moment  after,  I  might  have  guessed  that 
delicacy  would  prevent  him  from  seeming  to 
take  anything  for  granted  until  he  had  heard 
it  from  my  own  lips.  It  might  have  been  my 
own  fault,  too,  for  I  was  oppressed  then  and 
throughout  the  dinner  by  the  old  constraint, 
which  I  was  furious  with  myself  for  being 
unable  to  conquer. 

I  was  horribly  nervous,  and  he  seemed 
scarcely  less  embarrassed  ;  now  and  then  I 
could  see  him  glance  at  Evelyn  with  an  air  of 


(Elje  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlg.     117 

appeal  and  almost  reproach,  as  if  he  suspected 
that  she  had  misled  him  by  giving  any  en- 
couragement. 

But  I  am  not  sure  that  I  did  not  find,  before 
the  meal  came  to  an  end,  that  the  artificial 
constraint  between  us  had  a  subtle  charm  of 
its  own,  which  I  would  not  have  lost  just  yet. 
So  soon  now — perhaps  before  the  last  sunset 
gleam  had  quite  died  out  of  the  sky — all  mis- 
understanding would  be  removed;  there  was 
a  piquancy  in  keeping  up  this  pretence  of  cold- 
ness until  the  last  moment,  a  delicious  flattery 
in  the  sight  of  the  suspense  and  anxiety  from 
which  he  so  evidently  suffered. 

And  at  last  the  moment  came.  Evelyn 
had  proposed  that  we  should  go  into  the  gar- 
den after  dinner,  and,  linking  her  arm  in  Mrs. 
Maitland's,  she  had  contrived  to  draw  her 
away  to  a  distant  part  of  the  grounds,  so  as  to 
give  Hugh  the  opportunity  she  had  promised. 
He  was  not  slow  in  availing  himself  of  it.  He 
came  over  to  the  corner  of  the  lawn  in  which 
I  was  sitting,  drew  up  a  chair  beside  mine, 
and  sat  down.     For  some  little  time  he  was 


n8    ®l)£  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

silent,  and,  though  I  could  scarcely  see  his 
face  in  the  deepening  shadow  under  the 
branches,  I  could  tell  that  he  was  deeply 
moved. 

I  felt  no  impatience  for  him  to  speak;  it 
was  enough  that  he  was  there,  close  by  me. 
I  lay  back  in  my  chair  in  dreamy  content. 
The  western  sky  was  passing  from  saffron  to 
citron-green  and  deep  luminous  blue,  the 
flower  borders  glowed  dimly  through  the  fall- 
ing veil  of  dusk,  the  martins  were  flitting  nois- 
ily in  and  out  of  their  nests  under  the  gables, 
a  cricket  chirped  incessantly  somewhere  in 
the  house,  and  the  bats  swooped  and  wheeled 
through  the  warm  air,  uttering  tiny  shrill  cries. 
It  all  seemed  a  sort  of  peaceful  prelude  to  the 
supreme  hour  at  hand — the  hour  that  was  to 
bring  me  the  full  assurance  of  the  love  I  had 
hungered  for. 

And  presently  he  spoke,  in  a  low  voice 
which  trembled  and  faltered  at  times,  as  if, 
even  yet,  he  could  hardly  believe  in  his  good 
fortune. 

"Tell  me,"  he  began,  "is  it  true — what  I 


®t)e  Statement  of  Stdla  iflaberls.     119 

have  heard  this  afternoon  ?  That  you  are  no 
longer  my  enemy,  that,  in  spite  of  what  hap- 
pened yesterday  afternoon,  we  are  to  be  friends 
after  all?" 

"I — I  never  was  your  enemy,  really,"  I 
said.  "  It  was  all  a  mistake.  I — I  misunder- 
stood. I  asked  Evelyn  to — to  explain  to 
you." 

"  What  can  I  say  to  you  ?  You  have  made 
me  very  happy.  If  you  knew  what  despair  I 
was  in  last  night — how  little  I  thought  that 
there  was  any  hope  of  gaining  your  ap- 
proval! " 

"Forget  yesterday,"  I  said  softly,  "forget 
what  I  have  been  to  you  before  you  knew, 
only  tell  me  that  Evelyn  has  made  you  under- 
stand, that  you  really  are  the  happier  for  it.  I 
want  to  be  quite,  quite  sure  of  that." 

And  then  he  began  to  speak  of  Evelyn, 
and  gradually,  as  he  dwelt  on  her  sweetness 
and  fascination,  a  deadly  suspicion  stole  over 
me  that  I  was  duping  myself  once  more — that 
in  some  way  Evelyn  had  played  me  false. 

For  some  time  I  tried  to  think  that  I  must 


120    ®|)e  Statement  of  Stella  itlaberls. 

have  heard  wrongly  ;  nothing  so  hideous 
could  be.  I  kept  myself  under  control,  and 
drew  him  on  until  I  knew  the  truth. 

I  don't  remember  the  exact  form  in  which 
he  conveyed  it.  He  was  very  diplomatic;  he 
did  not  say  in  so  many  words  that  his  love  for 
me  had  been  a  passing  fancy,  that  he  accepted 
his  rejection  as  final,  and  was  grateful  to  me 
for  reading  his  heart  more  truly  than  he  had 
known  it  himself.  But  that  was  what  he 
made  me  understand,  nevertheless.  I  had  to 
hear  how,  in  that  single  afternoon,  Evelyn  had 
beguiled  and  enslaved  him  utterly,  how  all  his 
hopes  now  lay  in  winning  her,  and  how  he 
felt,  notwithstanding,  that  there  was  some  in- 
definable change  in  her  attitude  towards  him 
which  made  him  despair  of  touching  her  heart. 

And  I  listened  to  all  these  rhapsodies  of  his 
— which  were  not  for  me.  I  listened  and 
gave  no  sign  of  suffering,  though  the  solid 
earth  seemed  sinking  away  beneath  my  feet, 
and  the  sky  above  the  black  tree  tops  to  open 
and  shut  in  livid  fire;  there  was  a  loud  ringing 
in  my  ears,  and  I  found  myself  gripping  the 


QL\)c  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg. 


121 


arms  of  my  chair  with  such  force  that  the 
bamboo  splinters  pierced  the  palms  of  my 
hands,  and  perhaps  kept  me  from  fainting, 
which  was  my  dread. 

No,  I  would  not  faint;  he  should  not  have 
the  satisfaction  of  seeing  that  I  cared ;  it  was 
all  over — whatever  he  had  felt  for  me,  he  felt 
it  no  longer;  whether  Evelyn  had  deliberately 
fooled  and  betrayed  me  or  not,  it  could  make 
no  difference,  she  had  won  him  from  me  all 
the  same — my  short,  mad,  beautiful  dream 
was  dead  now,  and  nothing,  nothing  would 
bring  it  back. 

So  I  schooled  myself  to  make  such  replies 
as  were  necessary.  I  spoke  and  even  laughed 
once  or  twice,  and  my  voice  sounded  quite 
naturally ;  or  if  there  was  a  note  of  heartbreak 
at  times,  he  was  not  likely  to  detect  it.  How 
should  he,  when  his  thoughts  were  so  far 
from  me  ? 

I  think  I  was  glad  when  Mrs.  Maitland 
came  towards  us.  "Evelyn  asked  me  to 
fetch  her  a  cloak,"  she  said.  "Shall  I  bring 
you  out  yours  too,  Miss  Maberly  ?  " 

9 


122    ®|je  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls. 

"Thank  you,  no,"  I  said.  "I  am  quite 
happy  and  comfortable  without  it.  And  why 
should  you  go  when  I  daresay  Mr.  Dallas  will 
take  Evelyn  her  cloak  and  spare  you  the 
trouble?" 

I  had  no  desire  to  keep  him  there  any 
longer.  I  believe  I  wanted  to  torture  myself 
by  seeing  how  eagerly  he  would  accept  a 
pretext  for  rejoining  Evelyn,  and  if  so,  I  was 
gratified. 

"  How  good  you  are  to  me!  "  he  said  in  an 
undertone,  as  he  rose,  and  Mrs.  Maitland  sank 
into  a  chair  he  had  left  and  began  to  purr 
apologetically. 

"It  was  really  getting  so  late,  my  dear," 
she  said,  "  I  felt  that  it  was  time  to  do  some- 
thing. Dear  Evelyn  seems  so  strange  to-night 
— this  afternoon  I  was  almost  certain  she  had 
decided  to  take  him,  and  now  she  has  been 
positively  neglecting  him  all  this  while.  How- 
ever, it's  a  comfort  to  see  that  you  have  got 
over  your  dislike  to  him — you  seem  to  be  quite 
good  friends  now  ?  " 

"Quite,"  I  said. 


®lje  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberis.    123 


"  It  was  so  clever  and  sweet  of  you  to  un- 
derstand my  little  hint  about  the  cloak  and 
send  him  to  her!  " 

I  looked  across  the  lawn,  and  saw  his  in- 
distinct form  hastening  to  the  spot  where 
Evelyn's  gown  glimmered  faintly  through  the 
gloom. 

"  He  was  only  too  glad  to  go,"  I  said. 

"Yes,  poor  fellow,  he  is  more  hopelessly 
in  love  than  ever — it  is  Evelyn  I  can't  feel  cer- 
tain about.  She  has  been  talking  so  lightly 
and  capriciously  about  him,  so  unlike  her  usual 
self.  Still  I  hope  and  believe  it  will  all  end  in 
the  right  way.  And  now  she  can  feel  that  he 
has  your  approval,  it  must  have  a  great  influ- 
ence on  her — don't  you  think  so,  my  dear?" 

So  Mrs.  Maitland  flowed  on  in  conjecture 
and  comment,  and  I  sat  and  answered  auto- 
matically, with  an  icy  ache  at  my  heart. 

And  yet,  even  then,  I  had  not  lost  faith  in 
Evelyn.  She  could  not  have  deliberately  mis- 
led me.  She  would  be  horrified  and  indignant 
when  she  discovered  the  change  in  his  feel- 
ings, she  would  remonstrate  with  him,  do  all 


124   &l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls. 

in  her  power  to  check  and  cure  his  infatuation 
— perhaps,  who  knew  ?  he  would  come  back 
to  me  in  time. 

So  I  longed  to  tell  her  everything  and  to 
have  the  assurance  that,  if  I  had  lost  all  else, 
her  loyal  and  tender  sympathy  was  still  left. 

Later  that  evening,  after  Hugh  Dallas  had 
started  to  drive  home,  the  opportunity  came. 
Mrs.  Maitland  had  gone  upstairs,  leaving  Eve- 
lyn and  myself  in  the  drawing-room.  She 
was  moving  about  the  room,  restlessly  taking 
up  and  replacing  books  and  knick-knacks,  and 
singing  little  snatches  of  song  under  her  breath, 
with  occasional  side-glances  at  me  of  curiosity 
or  challenge,  until  I  could  bear  the  suspense  no 
longer. 

"Sit  down,"  I  cried;  "you  know  there  is 
something  we  must  talk  over  together!  " 

"So  late?"  she  said,  "and  after  such  an 
exhausting  evening!  I  warn  you,  Stella,  that 
if  it  is  anything  very  serious  I  shall  in  all  prob- 
ability fall  asleep." 

She  let  herself  sink  gracefully  into  the  near- 
est couch,  with  her  hands  lightly  linked  behind 


&l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.    125 

her  neck  and  her  eyes  gleaming  through  their 
narrowed  lids. 

"It  is  serious  enough  for  me,"  I  said; 
"  Evelyn,  I  have  found  out  to-night  that 
Hugh  doesn't  love  me  any  more — it  is  all 
over!" 

"After  proposing  and  being  rejected — let 
me  see — only  yesterday,  wasn't  it  ?  It  seems 
an  unusually  rapid  recovery.  I'm  afraid  you 
must  have  put  your  refusal  in  such  plain  words 
that  his  vanity  was  too  much  for  his  passion." 

"I  never  meant  to  refuse  him — you  know 
all  that  was  a  mistake!  " 

"  It  is  very  unfortunate,  but  if  he  has  chosen 
to  take  you  at  your  word,  I  scarcely  see  what 
is  to  be  done." 

"You  promised  to  make  him  understand 
that — that — ah !  you  haven't  told  him !  " 

"  He  understands  that  you  have  reconsid- 
ered your  disapproval  of  him  and  are  ready  to 
look  upon  him  as  a  friend." 

"And  was  that  all  you  told  him  ? " 

"  Would  you  have  had  me  tell  him  more 
when   he  was  so  obviously  contented  with 


i26   $he  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlp,. 


less  ?  I  left  it  to  you  to  attempt  to  relight  his 
burnt-out  fires,  my  dear,  and  I  regret  to  find 
that  you  do  not  appear  to  have  been  success- 
ful, though  you  will  do  me  the  justice  to  admit 
that  I  gave  you  an  excellent  opportunity." 

"I  did  not  try,"  I  said  ;  "he  made  me  see 
that  it  was  quite  useless.  Evelyn,  he  told  me 
that  it  is  you  he  loves  now." 

"That  is  very  interesting,  though  I'm  afraid 
it  is  not  such  a  surprise  to  me  as  it  evidently 
is  to  you." 

"  But  you  won't  let  him  ?" 

"How  can  I  prevent  it?  It  is  bad  taste 
on  his  part,  no  doubt,  but  you  have  given  him 
his  liberty." 

"I  did  not  know  what  I  was  doing.  Eve- 
lyn, you  know  I  never  meant  it.  And  I  love 
him,  I  can't  live  without  him.  Ah,  give  him 
back  to  me  !  " 

"Is  it  not  just  possible  that  he  may  not 
wish  to  be  handed  over  ?  " 

"It  is  not  too  late  even  yet,"  I  pleaded. 
"You  could  make  him  come  back  if  you 
would;  if  you  only  would  !  " 


(Elje  Statement  of  Stella  JJtaberlp..    127 


"  Why  should  I  ?  He  happens  to  be  quite 
the  best-looking  and  most  attractive  person  I 
have  met  for  a  long  while  ;  and  if  he  pays  me 
the  compliment  of  falling  in  love  with  me,  /, 
at  all  events,  don't  intend  to  reward  him  with 
frowns." 

"You  have  made  him  fall  in  love  with 
you,"  I  said  violently.  "You  set  yourself  to 
bewitch  him,  to  make  him  forget  me.  I 
trusted  you  and  you  betrayed  me.  Yes,  I  see 
that  now  ! " 

She  unlaced  her  hands  and  leant  forward 
with  her  eyes  wide  open  and  fixed  on  me 
with  malicious  mockery. 

"Are  you  quite  the  person  to  reproach 
anybody  with  treachery  ?"  she  asked. 

"What  do  you  mean  ?  "  I  stammered. 

"Merely  that  I  think  I  remember  hearing 
only  this  morning  of  a  person  who,  for  rea- 
sons of  her  own,  allowed,  with  full  knowl- 
edge of  the  consequences,  her  dearest  friend 
to  be  given  a  drug  that  would  probably  prove 
fatal." 

I  shrank  back  under  the  gaze  of  those  bril- 


128    Wqt  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberis. 

liant,  malignant  eyes.  "Evelyn,"  I  cried,  "as 
Heaven  is  my  judge,  I  did  not  know,  I  did 
not  think  of  the  danger  until  it  was  too 
late." 

"Qui  veut  la  Jin  veut  les  moyensf"  she 
said.  "If  your  conscience  acquitted  you,  why 
did  you  accuse  yourself  of  the  crime  as  you 
did  this  morning?" 

"You  cannot  be  cruel  enough  to  use  my 
own  words  against  me  like  that?"  I  said, 
trembling  violently.  "Whatever  I  accused 
myself  of  in  the  state  of  mind  I  was  in  then, 
it  went  no  further  than  a  passing  thought. 
How  could  it  be  called  a  crime  when  I  did 
nothing?" 

"I  am  not  an  authority  on  morals,"  she 
said,  "but  the  distinction  between  actually 
administering  a  poison  and  allowing  it  to  be 
given  by  another  when  a  word  would  have 
prevented  it,  seems  to  me  rather  fine  drawn. 
I'm  afraid  that,  morally  speaking,  you  must 
be  considered  a  murderess,  my  dear  Stella — a 
very  charming  and  interesting  one,  I  admit, 
but  still  a  murderess." 


®lje  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberls.    129 

"You  know  I  am  not  that.  Why,  you 
are  better  and  stronger  to-day  than  you 
have  ever  been — the  chloral  has  done  you 
no  harm." 

"Me?"  she  said,  smiling.  "None  what- 
ever. But  that  does  not  affect  the  main 
fact." 

I  threw  myself  at  her  feet,  sobbing.  "  Eve- 
lyn, I  can't  bear  it.  I  can't— I  can't.  What 
has  changed  you  like  this,  and  made  you  hard 
and  cynical  when  you  were  so  forgiving  and 
sweet  only  a  few  hours  ago  ?  Is  it  /  who 
have  done  it  all  ?  For  pity's  sake,  don't  say 
these  cruel,  terrible  things  to  me,  not  even  if 
I  have  deserved  them.  I  won't  reproach  you 
any  more.  I  will  own  you  are  not  to  blame 
if  Hugh  has  come  to  love  you  best.  I  give 
him  up.  I  will  be  content,  if  only  I  have  you. 
Be  a  little  kind  to  me,  Evelyn!  Don't  taunt 
and  torture  me  with  the  past.  Try  to  forgive 
me.  Tell  me  that  I  have  not  lost  the  dearest, 
the  only  friend  I  had  in  the  world.  Be  my 
own  dear  Evelyn  once  more!  " 

She  thrust  me  away  from  her  with  a  little 


[30    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls. 


gesture  of  petulant  anger.  "Get  up,  Stella," 
she  said,  ''why  do  you  talk  this  nonsense  to 
me  ?  What  is  the  use  of  pretences  between 
us  ?  Are  you  really  such  a  fool  as  to  try  to 
deceive  yourself  ?  You  know  very  well  that 
I  can  never  be  your  own  dear  Evelyn,  as  you 
call  her,  now;  you  know  very  well  why — or," 
she  added,  with  a  sudden  peal  of  pitiless 
laughter,  "is  it  really  possible  that  you  have 
failed  to  grasp  the  situation  yet  ?  Is  this  ig- 
norance of  yours  genuine  ?  Let  me  look  at 
your  face  and  see." 

She  seized  my  wrists  in  her  light,  cool 
grasp  and  attempted  to  draw  me  towards  the 
lamplight. 

"Let  me  go,"  I  cried,  cowering  with  a 
sense  that  some  nameless  horror  was  be- 
fore me.  "  Don't  look  at  me.  Don't  make 
me  look  at  you.  I  am  afraid.  I  am  so 
afraid  !  " 

"You  fool!"  she  said  angrily.  "You 
have  nothing  to  fear  from  me.  /  am  not  your 
victim — the  innocent,  trustful  girl  whom  you 
allowed  to  be  drugged  to  death.     You  know 


®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlp..    131 

what  you  found  when  you  went  in  this  morn- 
ing." 

"It  seemed  to  be  death,"  I  said  wildly. 
"But  it  was  not — it  could  not  have  been. 
And  I  prayed  to  God  and  He  heard  me." 

"God!"  she  answered  contemptuous- 
ly. "God  does  not  hear  such  prayers  as 
yours  !  " 

"  He  did  hear  mine.  He  gave  you  back 
to  me,"  I  insisted.  "  If  not,  how  should  you 
be  here  ?  " 

"  Look  at  me,"  she  said,  "  look  me  in  the 
face — and  then  you  will  understand." 

I  forced  myself  to  lift  my  reluctant  eyes  to 
the  lovely,  scornful  face  that  was  looking 
down  upon  me — and  then — God  help  me  ! 
I  understood  at  last,  and  shrieked  in  an  agony 
of  despair  and  horror. 

For  in  that  awful  moment  I  knew  that  it 
was  not  Evelyn's  stainless  soul  that  was  gaz- 
ing at  me  now  through  her  eyes,  but  some 
evil,  mocking  spirit  that  my  rash  and  blas- 
phemous prayer  had  called  to  animate  the 
form  she  had  left. 


132    ®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  Mabcrl^. 

And  then  the  room  seemed  to  grow  dark 
suddenly,  and  with  a  loud  rush  and  roar  in 
my  ears,  and  the  hope  that  this  might  be 
death  that  was  mercifully  snatching  me  from 
those  soft,  cruel  hands  that  held  me  so  fast,  I 
became  insensible. 


VI. 


When  I  recovered  consciousness  I  found 
myself  lying  in  bed  in  my  own  room.  It  was 
later  than  my  usual  hour  for  rising,  and  I  felt 
dazed  and  confused.  Someone  had  come  in 
and  drawn  my  curtains,  for  the  sun  was  strik- 
ing in  on  the  cut-glass  bottles  on  my  dressing- 
table  and  making  dancing  prismatic  flecks 
and  bars  on  the  ceiling  and  walls,  at  which  I 
lay  gazing  with  a  languid  sense  of  pleasure. 

There  was  something  reassuring  in  the 
pretty  room  and  the  wholesome  sunlight,  and 
though  I  had  a  vague  recollection  of  having 
lately  been  through  some  awful  experience,  it 
was  merely  as  of  a  dream  too  fantastically  hor- 
rible to  bear  thinking  of. 

Presently  there  came  a  tap  at  my  door,  and 
I  heard  Evelyn's  voice  asking  if  she  might 
come  in.     She  entered,  looking  so  fresh  and 

133 


[34   ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberlp.. 


fair  that  I  wondered  why  my  heart  sank  at 
the  sound  of  her  voice,  and  why  the  sight 
of  her  filled  me  with  an  almost  ungovernable 
terror. 

"I  have  brought  you  some  breakfast,"  she 
said,  as  she  set  down  the  tray.  "  We  didn't 
like  to  disturb  you  before,  as  you  seemed  to 
be  sleeping  so  soundly.  I  hope  you  are  quite 
recovered  by  this  time." 

"I— I  have  had  a  bad  night,  I  think,"  I 
said,  "but  I  have  not  been  ill — have  I  ?" 

She  smiled.  "Then  you  have  forgotten 
how  you  alarmed  me,  and,  indeed,  the  whole 
house,  by  suddenly  fainting  in  the  drawing- 
room  last  night.  1  had  to  call  Aunt  Lucy 
and  have  you  carried  upstairs.  Did  you 
fancy  you  saw  something  that  frightened 
you,  Stella,  or  how  was  it?  I  saw  nothing 
in  the  room  but  our  two  selves." 

I  looked  at  her  and  saw  that,  in  spite 
of  her  assumed  innocence  and  unconscious- 
ness, her  eyes  were  watching  my  face  un- 
easily. And  then  the  whole  scene  came  back 
to  me,  and  I  turned  from  her,  shuddering. 


ftlje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.    135 

"  Ah,  I  remember,"  I  cried.  "  My  God,  it 
was  no  dream — it  is  true,  true  !  I  know  you 
now — you  are  not  my  Evelyn — don't  touch 
me,  don't  come  near  me." 

"  Why,  my  dearest  Stella,"  she  said  sooth- 
ingly, "what  does  all  this  mean?  What 
extraordinary  idea  has  taken  hold  of  you  ? 
You  must  be  dreaming  still.  Who  else 
should  I  be  but  Evelyn  ?  " 

I  saw  at  once  that  she  was  anxious  to  undo 
the  effect  of  her  revelation  last  night,  and 
persuade  me  that  I  had  imagined  it  all — as  if 
that  was  possible  ! 

"I  do  not  know  who  you  are,"  I  said, 
"but  you  are  not  Evelyn — nothing  you  can 
say  will  ever  make  me  believe  that  again. 
Evelyn  is  dead  and  I  am  to  blame,  and  you 
— fiend,  devil,  evil  spirit,  whatever  you  may 
be — have  taken  her  form  to  torment  me. 
But  I  will  have  no  dealings  with  you,  do 
you  hear?  You  cannot  compel  me  to  accept 
you  as — as  what  you  only  seem.  I  will  not 
breathe  the  same  air  with  you." 

Her    mouth    quivered     pathetically,     she 


136   ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iUaberlg. 

looked  sweetly  grieved.  "Why  do  you 
treat  me  as  if  I  were  your  enemy  ? "  she 
asked  softly,  "why  should  I  wish  to  harm 
you,  and  what  reason  have  you  for  even  as- 
suming that  I  am  wicked  at  all  ?  " 

"Will  you  dare  to  pretend  that  you  are 
Evelyn  Heseltine  ?  "  I  said  ;  "  it  will  be  use- 
less, after  what  you  said  last  night !  " 

"As  you  please,"  she  said.  "I  am  not 
Evelyn  Heseltine,  then.  What  am  I  ?  That 
is  not  so  easy  to  say.  Not  so  very  long  ago 
I  was  a  human  being,  living  my  life  on  this 
earth,  in  this  very  England.  I  do  not  claim  to 
have  been  a  saint — if  I  had  been  a  better 
woman  my  soul  would  not  have  been  with- 
in hearing  of  your  call.  Thanks  to  your 
prayer,  I  was  released  from  the  penance  that 
such  as  I  must  undergo,  permitted  to  return 
to  this  dear,  warm,  beautiful  world.  I  am 
young,  I  seem  to  be  rich,  I  am  good  to  look 
at,  and  I  owe  all  this  to  you.  Think  whether 
I  am  likely  to  be  ungrateful,  whether,  what- 
ever I  have  been  in  the  past,  I  may  not  be 
willing  to  avoid  laying  up  worse  punishment 


®I)£  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberlj).     137 

for  myself  in  the  future.  I  am  ready  to  be 
your  friend,  and  you  repulse  me  as  if  I  were 
some  evil  thing." 

"You  are  evil  !  "  I  cried.  "  I  feel  it— all 
your  fair  words,  all  your  sweet  looks  cannot 
deceive  me.  Say  what  you  please,  I  will 
have  nothing  to  do  with  you." 

"Are  you  so  ungrateful,  Stella?"  she 
murmured  reproachfully;  "when  you  owe 
me  so  much  !  " 

"Ungrateful  !  What  have  I  to  be  grate- 
ful to  you  for  ?  "  I  asked. 

"Much,   I  should   have  imagined.     What 

would   be   your   position    now   if  I  had  not 

come   to   your  rescue  ?      Your  friend   would 

be  lying  dead  in  that  room  there,  you  would 

be  under  suspicion,  at  all  events,   of  having 

had  some  share  in  her  death — you    seem   to 

have  allowed   your  jealousy  and    resentment 

to   be  apparent  enough.      At   the  best,    you 

would    be   thrown   on   the   world    penniless, 

and  with  a  cloud    hanging  over  your  name. 

Whereas,    who    can    accuse    you,    who    can 

suspect  you  now,  who   will  ever  guess  that 
10 


138   ®i)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jtlaberls. 


I  am  not  the  real  Evelyn— unless,  of  course, 
you  are  mad  enough  to  suggest  it  to  them  ?" 

Still  I  tried  to  break  through  the  meshes  of 
cajolery  in  which  I  felt  I  was  being  entangled. 
"  I  will  say  nothing,"  I  said,  "  but  I  cannot  live 
on  here  in  this  house  with  you.  I  will  go 
away.     I  must." 

"I  cannot  do  without  you,  Stella,"  she 
said.  "This  new  existence  which  you—you, 
remember — have  summoned  me  into,  is  still 
strange  and  unfamiliar.  I  want  a  guide,  some- 
one to  instruct  me  in  all  it  is  necessary  to 
know  about  myself  or  I  shall  make  blunders 
which,  if  they  don't  betray  our  little  secret,  will 
certainly  set  people  speculating  and  gossiping. 
No,  for  your  own  sake  you  must  stay  with 
me." 

"Stay,"  I  cried,  "stay,  and  lend  myself  to 
such  a  ghastly  mockery — oh,  how  can  I,  how 
can  I?" 

"Of  course  you  can,"  she  said,  "and  of 
course  you  will — there  is  nothing  else  to  be 
done.  Come,  Stella,  she  added  more  gently, 
"  we  cannot  undo  the  past,  either  you  or  I,  so 


®lje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlp..     139 

let  us  make  the  best  of  it.  Don't  harden  your 
foolish  heart  against  me  any  more.  Trust 
yourself  to  me,  you  will  not  find  me  hard  or 
cruel  so  long  as  you  do  your  best  to  please  me. 
What  we  two  alone  know  will  only  link  us 
closer  together — in  time  you  will  even  come  to 
forget  that  I  am  not  your  own  Evelyn.  I  can 
make  you  love  me  better  than  ever  you  loved 
her,  if  only  you  will  let  me  try.  Tell  me  that 
we  are  to  be  friends." 

I  could  not  resist  her  any  longer.  I  felt  so 
utterly  helpless,  the  situation  was  so  terrible, 
that  I  caught  at  any  compromise.  I  told  my- 
self that  she  might  have  spoken  the  truth,  she 
might  have  come  to  save  me.  I  could  almost 
believe  that  it  was  Evelyn's  very  self  that  was 
pleading  with  me  for  my  love  and  confidence. 
And  so  I  yielded;  I  let  her  fold  me  in  her  arms 
and  kiss  me  on  the  lips  with  a  fierce  possession 
that  made  me  shiver. 

"Now  you  are  my  own  Stella,"  she  whis- 
pered caressingly.  "We  understand  one  an- 
other, do  we  not  ?  We  are  allies  from  this 
moment." 


[40    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  inaberlg. 


Unnatural  and  unholy  as  such  a  compact 
was,  it  brought  me  a  delusive  comfort  just 
then.  If  only  she  would  be  kind,  if  she  could 
indeed  make  me  forget  even  for  a  time,  was  it 
not  as  much  as  I  could  hope  for  now  ? 

As  soon  as  I  had  come  downstairs,  Evelyn 
— (for  though  it  is  repugnant  to  me  to  use  that 
beloved  name  in  connection  with  the  spirit 
that  had  taken  her  form,  I  find  myself  com- 
pelled to  do  so) — Evelyn  insisted  that,  as  I  was 
now  quite  recovered,  I  should  accompany  her 
on  a  round  of  inspection  of  the  gardens  and 
stables. 

I  knew  that  she  wanted  me  to  instruct  her 
in  all  the  details  of  an  existence  necessarily 
still  unfamiliar  to  her,  and  I  submitted  pas- 
sively, feeling  all  the  while  that  I  was  sinking 
to  the  level  of  an  accomplice. 

She  was  extraordinarily  quick  in  turning  all 
my  answers  to  account;  not  one  of  the  serv- 
ants we  met,  and  whom  she  spoke  to,  sus- 
pected for  a  moment  that  she  was  anything 
but  the  young  mistress  they  adored.  Nothing 
untoward    happened    until    we    entered    the 


©I)*  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls.    141 

stables,  where  Roy,  Evelyn's  favourite  collie, 
was  lying  in  his  kennel. 

At  the  first  sight  of  her  he  had  sprung  for- 
ward to  the  full  length  of  his  chain,  barking 
with  delight,  but  as  she  came  nearer  I  saw  the 
dog's  manner  suddenly  change,  his  bark  died 
away  into  a  terrified  whine,  his  hair  bristled, 
and  he  retreated  before  her,  growling  and 
showing  his  fangs. 

I  noticed  Evelyn's  colour  change,  though 
she  showed  no  sign  of  fear.  "He  seems  very 
strange  to-day,"  she  said  quietly,  as  the  collie 
slunk  into  his  kennel,  where  he  lay  snarling. 
"What  can  be  the  matter  with  him?"  she 
asked  Reynolds,  the  coachman,  who  happened 
to  come  out  at  that  moment. 

"  I  haven't  noticed  anything,  Miss  Evelyn," 
he  said.  "For  the  Lord's  sake  keep  back, 
miss!  "  he  cried  the  next  instant,  as  she  was 
about  to  go  up  and  pat  the  dog's  head,  "  he 
means  mischief,  sure  enough." 

He  had  just  time  to  seize  her  arm  and  draw 
her  out  of  reach  as  the  dog  made  a  sudden 
spring.     Had  the  chain  not  been  a  strong  one, 


142    Slje  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls- 


nothing  could  have  saved  her  from  being  torn 
to  pieces. 

"Come  away,"  I  cried  to  her;  "come — 
before  he  breaks  free." 

She  stood  there  just  beyond  his  reach, 
calmly  looking  down  on  the  furious  animal  as 
it  strove  again  and  again  to  fly  at  her  throat. 
"You  go,"  she  replied,  "if  you  are  afraid  to 
stop.     I  am  quite  able  to  take  care  of  myself." 

I  was  afraid — terribly  afraid;  the  effect 
which  her  presence  produced  upon  the  collie, 
as  gentle  and  good-tempered  a  creature  in 
ordinary  as  ever  breathed,  came  home  to  me 
like  a  rebuke.  I  could  not  bear  it,  and  fled 
back  to  the  garden. 

There  Evelyn  joined  me  later.  "Why, 
Stella,  you  are  actually  trembling  still.  What 
a  coward  you  are !  What  is  there  to  be  so 
afraid  of?" 

"The  dog  knew,"  1  answered  hoarsely. 
"  What  is  the  use  of  my  being  silent  ?  You 
will  never  silence  him.'' 

"He  is  quiet  enough  now,"  she  replied. 
"  Come  and  see  for  yourself." 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  JHaberls.    143 

Wondering  what  strange  spell  she  could 
have  used  to  subdue  the  animal  so  soon,  I  let 
her  lead  me  back  to  the  stable-yard,  and  there 
one  glance  at  the  dog,  as  he  lay  on  his  side 
with  glazed  eyes  and  protruded  tongue,  told 
me  that  he  was  silenced  only  too  effectually. 

"It  is  done,  then?"  she  said  to  Rey- 
nolds, who  was  standing  gloomily  by  the 
body.  "I  hope  the  poor  creature  suffered 
no  pain  ?  " 

"No,  Miss  Evelyn,"  said  the  coachman. 
"  I  gave  him  some  proosic  acid  as  was  put  by 
in  the  harness  room.  He  went  off  quite  quiet, 
miss.  He  licked  my  hand  as  I  gave  him  the 
stuff,"  the  man  added,  with  a  catch  in  his 
voice,  for  he  had  been  fond  of  the  dog.  "  He 
seemed  himself  again  the  minute  you'd  gone, 
Miss  Evelyn.  I  can't  account  for  his  breaking 
out  as  he  did  nohow — I  can't.  'Tain't  as  if 
he'd  shown  any  sign  of  it  afore." 

"  He  would  never  have  flown  at  me  like 
that  unless  he  had  been  mad,  quite  dangerously 
mad,"  said  Evelyn.  "  I  am  dreadfully  grieved 
that  it  should  have  been  necessary  to  have  him 


144   ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlj). 

put  out  of  the  way,  but  it  was  too  great  a  risk 
to  run,  was  it  not,  Stella  ? '' 

Her  eyes  shone  with  the  sweetest  pity,  her 
tone  would  have  sounded  to  most  ears  only 
tender  and  womanly,  and  yet  on  mine  the 
words  fell  with  a  suggestion  of  hideous  hy- 
pocrisy. They  seemed  to  bear  a  covert  menace 
addressed  to  me  alone. 

And  from  that  moment  all  the  old  repulsion 
and  dread  which  she  had  so  nearly  lulled  awoke 
once  more  with  an  intensity  that  turned  me 
sick  and  faint.  Yes,  it  was  in  vain  to  delude 
myself  any  longer.  Whatever  spirit  this  might 
be  that  wore  Evelyn's  shape,  looked  at  me 
with  her  fair  eyes  and  spoke  in  her  sweet 
voice,  I  knew  now  that  it  was  altogether  evil 
— a  thing  essentially  false,  cunning  and  relent- 
less. 

And  I,  miserable  woman  that  I  was,  I  was 
committed  to  this  alliance.  I  was  paralysed 
by  the  conviction  that  if  I  ventured  to  thwart 
or  oppose  her,  she  would  make  me  feel  her 
power  in  some  terrible  form  that  would  plunge 
me  into  yet  deeper  misery  and  subjection. 


VII. 


I  had  thought  the  loss  of  Hugh  Dallas's 
love,  at  the  very  moment  when  I  believed  it 
won,  the  greatest  misery  that  could  befall  me, 
but  beside  the  overwhelming  horror  of  such 
a  secret  as  I  now  had  to  bear,  his  desertion 
seemed  almost  insignificant. 

There  were  times  when  the  thought  that 
the  gentle  girl  who  had  loved  me  was  dead 
through  my  own  half-guilty  inaction,  that 
some  lost  and  wandering  soul,  if  not  a  spirit 
from  Hell  itself,  was  masquerading  in  her 
form,  and  I  was  compelled  to  assist  in  this 
ghastly  mockery,  was  so  intolerable  that  it 
seemed  as  if  my  brain  must  inevitably  give 
way  under  it. 

Then  I  would  try  to  persuade  myself  that 
my  terrors  were  unreal,  that  I  was  the  victim 
of  some  morbid  hallucination  which   caused 

145 


[46    ft!)*  Statement  of  Stella  jnaberln.. 


me  to  distort  the  most  ordinary  events,  to  find 
confirmation  of  my  fancies  in  Evelyn's  most 
innocent  acts  and  speeches,  and  these  attempts 
sometimes  almost  succeeded.  She  did  every- 
thing in  her  power  to  overcome  my  antipathy, 
and  there  was  a  subtle  witchery  now  in  her 
looks  and  ways  that  made  it  hard  to  resist  her 
always.  I  did  so  long  to  believe,  if  I  only 
could,  that  she  was  just  her  own  sweet  human 
self,  and  not  what  my  instinct  and  reason 
knew  her  to  be. 

I  fancy  that  at  the  beginning  she  really  had 
a  kind  of  fierce  perverse  fondness  for  me,  or 
at  least  that  she  desired  to  conquer  my  affec- 
tion and  make  a  fascinated,  submissive  slave 

of  me. 

But  that  she  could  not  do  ;  my  dread  of 
her  was  too  deeply  rooted,  it  returned  in 
spite  of  myself  and  made  me  as  rebellious  as 
I  dared.  And  so  it  was  not  long  before  she 
realised  that  the  aversion  she  inspired  in  me 
was  proof  against  all  her  advances,  and  from 
that  time  she  felt  nothing  for  me  but  malig- 
nant hatred. 


®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberlg,.    147 

This  showed  itself  especially  in  the  sys- 
tematic persecution  she  practised  upon  me 
whenever  Hugh  Dallas  was  with  us,  a  torture 
so  refined  that  no  observer  could  have  detected 
its  insidious  cruelty.  For  then  she  would 
overwhelm  me  with  hypocritical  caresses  and 
little  affectionate  speeches  which  I  was  power- 
less either  to  resent  or  to  respond  to,  except 
by  what,  as  she  knew  perfectly  well,  would 
strike  him  as  sullen  ungraciousness.  Or  she 
would  try  to  provoke  me  into  some  outbreak 
by  apparently  innocent  remarks  and  allusions, 
so  skilfully  worded  that  I  alone  felt  their  sting. 

Is  it  any  wonder  if  sometimes  these  dia- 
bolical tactics  of  hers  succeeded,  and  if  under 
the  strain  I  forgot  all  my  prudent  resolves  to 
keep  calm,  to  avoid  playing  into  her  hands  by 
some  violent  retort  which  would  merely  put 
me  more  hopelessly  in  the  wrong  ? 

Occasionally,  as  I  surprised  her  pathetic 
moue  of  distress  at  my  hardness  of  heart,  and 
his  answering  look  of  sympathy  and  admira- 
tion of  her  angelic  forbearance,  or  when  I  noted 
the  alteration  in  his  tone  to  me,  his  grave  con- 


148   &l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlj). 

cern  at  my  insensibility  and  incredulous  won- 
der that  any  person  could  resist  such  sweet- 
ness as  hers,  occasionally  a  sense  of  a  certain 
ghastly  humour  in  the  situation  would  seize 
me,  and  I  would  burst  out  laughing — hollow 
and  mirthless  laughter  though  it  was — in  his 
astonished  face,  which  no  doubt  lowered  his 
opinion  of  me  more  than  ever. 

I  knew  well  enough  that  every  scene  of 
this  sort  left  him  more  enraptured  with 
Evelyn's  incomparable  excellence,  more  de- 
voutly thankful  for  his  lucky  escape  from  such 
a  warped  and  soured  nature  as  mine,  and  I 
almost,  if  not  quite,  hated  him  for  such  infatu- 
ation, such  blindness. 

To  him  she  was  a  pure  and  saintly  being 
whom  he  felt  unworthy  to  approach  with 
earthly  passion ;  he  never  saw,  as  I  saw,  that 
each  shy,  soft  glance  of  hers,  each  dainty  pos- 
ture and  slow,  undulating  movement  was  de- 
liberately and  cunningly  calculated  to  increase 
the  sensuous,  intoxicating  effect  she  produced. 

It  was  bitter  enough  to  be  condemned  to 
bear  all  this,  and  yet  there  was  just  one  hope 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  JUaberlp..    149 

which  sustained  me.  Such  a  nature  as  hers 
must  be  incapable  of  love ;  she  could  not  be 
anything  but  indifferent  to  him;  she  would 
not  have  gone  on  playing  with  his  feelings  so 
long  except  for  the  pleasure  she  found  in  see- 
ing how  it  tormented  me.  If  I  only  restrained 
myself  she  would  tire  of  her  amusement  in 
time,  tire  of  her  saintly  pose,  tire  of  his  rever- 
ence and  devotion,  she  would  reveal  herself  to 
him  as  she  really  was — false,  corrupt,  cynical, 
cruel,  and  he  was  hardly  the  man  whose  love 
would  survive  such  a  shattering  of  his  ideal. 
And  if  it  did  not,  who  could  tell  what  might 
happen  ?  He  might  come  back  to  me — even 
yet. 

I  did  not  know  myself  how  desperately  I 
wished  him  to  come  back.  I  thought  I  hated 
and  despised  him  too  much  to  care  now 
whether  he  did  or  not— it  was  only  when  this 
last  poor  hope  was  taken  from  me  that  I  real- 
ised how  much  I  had  come  to  depend  on  it. 

One  evening,  after  Hugh  Dallas  had  gone, 
Evelyn  came  into  the  room  where  I  was  sit- 
ting, knelt  by  my  chair  and  turned  her  plead- 


is©    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberls- 


ing  face  up  to  mine  with  an  expression  of  such 
exaltation  and  tenderness  and  purity  that  for 
the  moment  I  could  again  have  almost  be- 
lieved that,  in  some  wonderful  way,  my  own 
dear  Evelyn  was  restored  to  me. 

But  only  for  a  moment — for,  even  as  I 
gazed  into  those  deep  and  lustrous  eyes  of 
hers,  I  saw  the  cunning,  malignant  devil  I 
feared  lurking  there  still,  and  I  knew  that 
some  new  scheme  was  on  hand  and  that  I 
must  be  on  my  guard. 

"I've  come  to  tell  you  something,"  she 
began,  and  the  pretty  shyness  and  timidity  in 
her  voice  and  looks  would  assuredly  have  de- 
ceived anyone  but  me.  "  Be  kind  to  me  now, 
Stella,  don't  be  hard  and  bitter  when  I  am  so 
happy — so  very,  very  happy.  You  will  guess 
why,  I  think.  .  .  .  Hugh  has  asked  me  to  be 
his  wife." 

"  His  wife!  "  I  cried.  "  But  you  have  not 
said  yes  ?    Don't  tell  me  you  have  said  that." 

"But  I  have,  Stella.  What  else  could  I 
say,  when  I  love  him  with  all  my  heart? 
Why,   I  thought,"  she  added  with  the  most 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberis.    15 1. 

perfect  assumption  of  unconsciousness,  "I 
thought  you  no  longer  disliked  him.  I  hoped 
you  would  be  just  a  little  glad  !  " 

"You  hoped  no  such  thing.  You  know 
as  well  as  I  that  the  very  name  of  love  is  a  lie 
and  a  mockery  on  such  lips  as  yours." 

She  looked  plaintive,  bewildered.  "  I 
don't  understand  you,  Stella.  You  can't  really 
mean  such  a  cruel  speech  ?  " 

"Oh,  why  do  you  play  this  comedy  of 
innocence  now?"  I  cried  impatiently.  "You 
have  no  audience  here  to  be  deceived  by  it. 
It  is  all  wasted  on  me.  Let  us  speak  plainly 
now  we  are  alone.  Understand  this:  I  will 
not  stand  by  and  permit  such  a  marriage  as 
this.  Do  what  you  will  to  me — and  even  you 
cannot  make  me  much  more  miserable  than  I 
am ! — I  will  prevent  you  from  blighting  Hugh 
Dallas's  life." 

It  was  curious  to  see  how,  though  ob- 
viously uneasy  at  the  opposition  she  had 
roused  in  me,  she  still  tried  to  keep  up  her 
assumed  character.  "You  are  not  yourself," 
she  said.     "  Stella,  dear  Stella,  try  not  to  give 


152    ©l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

way  to  these  moods  ;  they — they  frighten 
me." 

"  If  they  do,"  I  said,  "  so  much  the  better. 
Be  warned,  for  I  mean  what  I  say.  Unless 
you  give  up  this  wicked  design  of  yours,  I 
will  tell  Hugh  what  you  are,  let  it  cost  me 
what  it  will.  He  shall  know  that  it  is  not 
Evelyn's  spotless  soul  that  makes  her  form 
seem  so  wondrously  fair,  but  a  devil — a  vile 
and  fiendish  spirit  that  has  taken  possession 
of  her  lifeless  shell." 

She  made  no  reply,  but  retreated  a  step  or 
two  and  stood  gazing  at  me  with  dilated  eyes. 
I  believe  that,  for  the  moment  at  all  events, 
she  really  was  alarmed,  and  so  I  left  her, 
feeling  that  for  once  the  advantage  was 
with  me. 

Fool  that  I  was  to  suppose  that  I  was  any 
match  for  her  !  That  same  night  she  glided 
into  my  room  and  stood  by  my  bedside,  like 
some  lovely  apparition  in  her  white  robe  and 
with  her  fair  hair  floating  loose  about  her 
shoulders.  She  bent  over  me  in  the  attitude 
of  a  guardian   angel  and  laid  her  soft,   cool 


Slje  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg.    153 

palm  on  my  burning  forehead,  but  the  mock- 
ing curve  of  her  lips  and  the  sinister  glitter  in 
her  eyes  told  me  that  the  mask  was  dropped, 
and  my  heart  sank  with  a  slavish  dread. 

"  You  were  very  bold,  Stella,"  she  said  in 
a  soft,  deliberate  whisper.  "Your  threats 
sounded  quite  determined,  and  yet,  you 
know  and  I  know  that  you  will  never  carry 
them  out — no,  you  will  never  find  the  courage 
to  enlighten  Hugh  Dallas.  What  can  you 
hope  to  gain  by  it  ?  " 

"  I  should  save  him  from  you,"  I  said. 

"  Your  hopes  go  farther  than  that.  You 
are  still  clinging  to  the  idea  that  if  he  knew 
me  as  I  am  he  would  come  back  to  you. 
You  cannot  deceive  me,  you  see.  But  have 
you  reflected  that  you  cannot  convince  him  of 
what  /  am  without  confessing  what  you  are  ? 
Are  you  really  sanguine  enough  to  believe 
that,  though  he  is  utterly  indifferent  to  you 
now,  his  passion  will  revive  when  he  sees 
you  in  your  new  character — a  jealous,  treach- 
erous  murderess,    compelled  to  conceal    her 

guilt  by  accepting  such  help  as  mine  ?  " 
11 


E54   &l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlp.. 


"  I  am  not  a  murderess — he  will  never  be- 
lieve that  of  me." 

"Oh,  no,  he  will  not  believe  it,  he  will 
not  believe  a  single  word  of  your  confession, 
denunciation,  whatever  you  prefer  to  call  it. 
He  will  merely  regard  it  as  an  exhibition  of 
hysterical  spite  and  jealousy  ;  his  masculine 
vanity  will  be  tickled  by  the  discovery  that 
you  are  still  passionately  in  love  with  him. 
He  will  pity  you,  perhaps,  but  he  will  cer- 
tainly despise  you.  Will  you  be  satisfied 
then  ?  " 

' '  He  shall  never  pity  me !  "  I  cried.  ' '  And 
you  are  wrong.  I  love  him  no  longer.  I 
hate  him — yes,  I  hate  him  !  " 

"And  yet  you  would  try  to  save  him  from 
me  ?  It  is  not  as  if  you  would  succeed.  You 
would  only  humble  yourself  in  vain.  He 
would  think  —  you  can  imagine  what  he 
would  think  of  you  !  But  there,  I  am  not 
afraid  of  you,  Stella — you  have  too  much 
pride  to  make  yourself  contemptible  in  his 
eyes  for  nothing.  You  are  passionate,  too; 
you  would  like  to  see  this  man  suffer  as  he 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberip..     155 

has  made  you  suffer.  Leave  him  in  my  hands 
and  I  will  avenge  you.  Do  you  think  he  will 
be  happier  or  better  for  loving  me  ?  Could 
you  wish  for  a  more  complete  revenge  than  to 
see  this  faithless  lover  of  yours  kneeling  at  my 
feet  ?  " 

"I  do  not  want  revenge,"  I  said.  "I  do 
not  want  Hugh  to  suffer." 

"  Then  you  are  more  superhumanly  mag- 
nanimous than  I  gave  you  credit  for  being," 
she  said.  "But  whether  that  is  so  or  not, 
it  comes  to  the  same  thing  in  the  end.  Hugh 
Dallas  is  mine,  and  you  will  not  interfere  be- 
tween us;  you  have  neither  the  courage  nor 
the  power — nor  even  the  will.  To-morrow  you 
will  have  come  to  your  senses,  you  will  keep 
a  strict  guard  over  yourself,  and  behave  both 
to  Hugh  and  me  as  if  you  entirely  approved 
of  our  engagement  and  heartily  rejoiced  in 
the  happiness  of  your  dearest  friend.  That  is 
what  I  came  to  say  to  you,  my  beloved  Stella, 
and,  now  it  is  said,  I  will  leave  you  in  peace." 

She  gave  me  a  cruel  little  kiss,  as  though 
in  half-contemptuous  acknowledgment  of  my 


156    $1)*  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls. 


submission,   and  was  gone,    noiselessly  and 
ghost-like  as  she  had  come  in. 

And  the  next  morning  I  did  exactly  as  she 
had  predicted.  She  was  all  gentleness  and 
affection,  and  when  I  began  to  refer  to  the 
scene  between  us  the  night  before,  entreated 
me  to  forget  it.  Everything  was  forgotten 
and  forgiven,  and  I  was  her  own  dear  Stella 
again. 

I  had  to  listen  and  respond  to  Mrs.  Mait- 
land's  ecstasies  at  the  fulfilment  of  her  dearest 
wishes,  which  she  evidently  imagined  she  had 
brought  about  by  her  own  diplomacy.  I  had 
to  see  Hugh  Dallas  arrive  in  all  the  pride  and 
glory  of  an  accepted  suitor.  I  even  congrat- 
ulated him,  and  I  believe  without  betraying 
by  voice  or  manner  the  horrible  suffering  it 
cost  me. 

The  news  of  the  engagement  seemed  to 
give  general  satisfaction.  Hugh  was  popular 
in  the  county,  and  Whinstone  society  was  full 
of  praises  of  Evelyn's  beauty  and  sweetness 
and  charm.  No  one  for  a  moment  suspected 
the  secret  change  in  her.     She  played  her  part 


ffilje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls-    15 7 


with  such  consummate  skill  that,  as  I  have 
already  said,  even  I  was  sometimes  tempted 
to  an  involuntary  forgetfulness  of  the  ghastly 
reality.  And  so  for  days  I  stood  by  and  held 
my  peace,  despising  myself  for  my  cowardice, 
and  yet  powerless  to  utter  even  a  hint  of  what 
I  knew,  until  at  last  something  happened 
which  loosened  my  tongue  in  spite  of  every 
reason  for  prudence  and  self-restraint. 

Hugh  had  heard,  of  course,  of  the  narrow 
escape  which  Evelyn  had  had  from  being  bit- 
ten by  Roy,  and  with  the  over-anxiety  of  a 
lover  had  made  her  promise — he  little  knew 
how  superfluous  such  a  precaution  was — that 
she  would  not  have  another  collie.  By  way, 
I  suppose,  of  a  safer  substitute,  he  had  offered 
to  get  her  a  Blenheim,  and  one  afternoon  when 
he  drove  over  he  brought  with  him  a  tiny 
liver  and  white  spaniel,  which  he  presented  to 
her  in  the  garden. 

I  was  with  her  at  the  time  and  noticed, 
with  a  thrill  of  secret  gratification,  the  look  of 
chagrin  and  dismay  on  her  face  when  the  little 
creature  cowered  away  from  her  endearments 


158    ®!)c  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg. 

with  every  sign  of  abject  terror.  "  He  won't 
come  to  me,  Hugh,"  she  exclaimed,  glancing 
up  at  him  with  piteous  eyes  and  quivering  lips, 
like  a  child  on  the  brink  of  tears.  "  Look,  he 
declines  to  have  anything  to  do  with  me." 

Hugh  laughed  and  said  something  about 
all  dogs  being  shy  at  first.  "  Beau  will  very 
soon  discover  that  he  is  a  very  fortunate  ani- 
mal," he  said. 

I  felt  strangely  irritated  by  this  denseness 
of  his;  perhaps,  too,  the  sight  of  the  horror 
with  which  the  animal  shrank  from  her  touch 
filled  me  with  shame  at  my  own  more  cow- 
ardly submission;  at  all  events,  I  could  not 
keep  back  the  words  which  rushed  to  my 
lips. 

"You  are  wrong,  Mr.  Dallas,"  I  said. 
"Evelyn  will  never  succeed  in  persuading 
that  creature  to  trust  her  or  be  friendly  with 
her.  Dogs  have  instincts  of  their  own,  and 
are  not  to  be  deceived  even  by  her." 

I  saw  the  indignation  and  surprise  in  his 
handsome  face,  the  sudden  change  in  hers, 
and  I  went  on  recklessly:    "He   hates  you, 


©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.     159 


Evelyn,  he  sees  more  clearly  than  others — 
though  he  is  only  a  dog.  But  perhaps  you 
will  call  him  mad,  too,  like  poor  Roy,  whom 
you  had  put  out  of  the  way.  Yes,  Mr.  Dallas, 
I  warn  you  not  to  leave  that  dog  here.  He 
will  not  live  long  in  this  house — she  will  take 
care  of  that!  " 

He  raised  his  eyebrows  as  he  looked  at  her 
with  a  sort  of  troubled  inquiry,  and  then  he 
answered  me  quietly  and  compassionately,  as 
if  he  were  humouring  a  fractious  child. 

"Come,  Miss  Maberly,"  he  said,  "you 
don't  really  believe  what  you  say.  You  know 
perfectly  well  that  Beau  could  not  be  in  kinder 
hands  than  Evelyn's,  and  that  she  is  incapable 
of  harming  any  living  thing.  Why  do  you 
give  way  to  such  extravagant  ideas  ?  See  how 
unhappy  you  are  making  her." 

"If  I  could  make  her  as  wretched  as  she 
makes  me,"  I  cried,  maddened  by  his  tone, 
"but  then — what  is  the  use  of  saying  any 
more  ?  You  will  not  see.  By-and-by,  when 
it  is  too  late,  perhaps,  you  will  remember  that 
I  tried  to  warn  you." 


160    ®l)e  Statement  of  Bulla  Jttaberlg. 

And  I  left  them  standing  there  pale  and 
mute,  and  I  knew  that  it  would  be  some  time 
before  either  of  them  recovered  their  equa- 
nimity. 

When  Hugh  went  away  that  evening, 
Beau  made  a  desperate  attempt  to  follow,  and 
refused  to  be  comforted  for  his  former  master's 
desertion.  Curiously  enough,  for  I  have  no 
natural  inclination  to  purely  useless  pets,  it 
was  to  me  that  he  came  for  protection,  and  I 
was  so  far  touched  by  the  poor  beast's  con- 
fidence that  I  insisted  on  keeping  it  with  me 
for  the  night  at  least,  since  it  would  not  allow 
Evelyn  to  touch  it. 

In  its  dumb,  foolish  way  it  loved  Hugh, 
and  perhaps,  even  though  I  told  myself  that 
I  hated  him  now,  that  gave  it  a  certain  claim 
upon  me. 

I  took  it  up  to  my  room  and  it  slept  there 
at  the  foot  of  my  bed,  where,  as  I  lay  awake 
through  the  night,  I  listened  for  its  soft  breath- 
ing, and  even  now  and  then  bent  forward  to 
touch  its  smooth,  silken  head  and  assure  my- 
self that  it  was  still  there  and  safe. 


(pe  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg..    161 

And  at  daybreak  I  woke  from  a  short  and 
troubled  sleep  with  a  sense  that  evil  eyes  were 
looking  down  on  me — and  when  I  looked 
Evelyn  was  standing  there. 

"Do  you  know  you  were  very  imprudent 
yesterday,  you  poor,  impulsive  Stella?"  she 
began  softly.  "You  ought  to  have  discov- 
ered by  this  time  that  it  is  unwise  to  try  to 
defy  me.  I  really  think  you  deserve  some 
slight  punishment,  just  as  a  lesson  to  avoid 
these  indiscretions  for  the  future.  Was  it 
quite  wise  to  warn  Hugh  that  this  little  crea- 
ture " — she  laid  one  white  hand  lightly  on  the 
spaniel,  which  moaned  and  shivered  in  his 
sleep — "  would  never  consent  to  make  friends 
with  me  ?  " 

"Whether  it  was  wise  or  not  to  say  it,  it 
was  the  truth.     You  know  it  was  true,"  I  said. 

"You  went  further  than  that,"  she  said. 
"You  hazarded  a  prediction  that  the  animal 
would  not  live  long  if  left  to  my  tender  mer- 
cies. You  would  probably  not  be  sorry  to 
see  your  anticipation  fulfilled,  like  most  proph- 
ets of  evil. " 


162    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberls. 

"What  do  you  mean?"  I  cried.  "My 
God  !     What  are  you  going  to  do  ?  " 

"Only  to  convince  our  excellent  Hugh  of 
your  skill  in  prophecy,"  she  said,  and  with 
that  she  seized  the  wretched  spaniel,  and  de- 
liberately strangled  it  before  my  eyes.  I  lay 
there,  too  paralysed  by  horror  and  pity  to 
move  or  cry  out ;  I  could  only  look  on  as  the 
poor  little  life  ebbed  slowly  away  between 
those  slender,  pitiless  hands. 

"  You  devil  !  "  I  cried  at  last,  when  all  was 
over  and  the  victim  dropped,  limp  and  still, 
from  her  grasp.  "You  cruel,  malicious  devil  ! 
Hugh  shall  hear  of  this — everyone  shall  know. 
Thank  God,  you  have  overreached  yourself 
this  time — you  have  shown  yourself  as  you 
really  are  ! " 

She  laughed  with  an  infernal  glee  and  tri- 
umphant wickedness,  which  made  my  blood 
run  chill. 

"  You  are  too  hasty,  as  usual,  my  dearest 
Stella.  It  is  not  I  who  have  overreached 
myself.  If  you  reflect  for  a  moment,  you 
will  see   that  you   are   the  only  person  who 


©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberla.     163 


can  possibly  be  connected  with  this  incident. 
It  was  you  who  foretold  that  the  dog  would 
come   to   a   tragic    end  ;    you  who,    though 
you  avowedly   dislike    such    creatures,    took 
him   up    into    your  own    room  ;    you   who 
have   made    no    secret    of   your  jealousy   of 
me  and  your  hatred  of  Hugh.     What  more 
natural  than  that  in  a  sudden  burst  of  frenzy 
you  should  have  carried  out  your  own  pre- 
diction ?    Who  will  suspect  harmless,   inno- 
cent Evelyn   Heseltine  ?      Why,   you  fool,    I 
shall  come    down    in  a    few  hours,    having 
slept  peacefully  all    night,   and    utterly  igno- 
rant that  any  harm  has  happened  to  the  dog 
that  was   given    me   only   yesterday   by   my 
beloved   Hugh.     If  you  accuse  me,   do  you 
know  what  will  be  said  ?    Everyone — Hugh 
and  all — will  think  that  you  are  insane,  mad 
with  disappointed  love  and  jealous  brooding. 
'Such  a  pity  — a  beautiful,  spirited  girl  like 
poor  Miss  Maberly — most   distressing    case — 
such  a  shock  to   her  friend,    Miss  Heseltine, 
who  was  absolutely  devoted  to  her — but  re- 
ally for  everybody's  sake    it  would  be  bet- 


1 64    (Elje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

ter  if  some  steps  were  taken.'  Can't  you 
hear  the  good  folk  of  Whinstone  gossiping  ? 
And  all  your  own  doing — you  thought  you 
could  match  yourself  against  me,  and  you 
see  you  have  failed  ! " 

I  recognised  the  frightful  truth  in  what 
she  said.  Appearances  were  all  in  her  fa- 
vour and  against  me.  Devil  that  she  was  she 
had  me  at  her  mercy,  and  I  had  no  choice 
but  to  submit. 

"I  know,"  I  said,  "I  know  it  is  useless 
for  me  to  contend  against  you.  If— if  I  keep 
silence,  if  I  tell  nobody  that  you  did  this 
thing,  you  will  not  let  the  blame  fall  upon 
me  ?  I  could  not  bear  him — or  anyone — 
to  think  me  capable  of  such  horrible  cruelty  ! " 

"I  should  have  imagined,"  she  said,  "that 
this  was  the  merest  trifle  compared  to  the 
charge  that  might  be  brought  against  you. 
It  is  nothing  to  me  whether  you  accuse  me  or 
not — you  will  only  injure  yourself.  Still,  as 
you  seem  to  have  learnt  your  lesson,  you 
shall  be  helped  out  of  the  difficulty  for  once. 
If  you  like  to  tell  me  at  breakfast  that  your 


®lje  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberla-    165 


protege  had  a  fit  during  the  night  and  died, 
I  shall  be  too  simple-minded  and  guileless 
to  doubt  your  story,  and  there  will  be  no 
questions  asked  or  fuss  of  any  kind.  That 
is  what,  in  your  own  interests,  I  should  ad- 
vise you  to  do — but  of  course  you  will  fol- 
low your  own  judgment." 

I  know  it  was  a  despicable  surrender — and 
yet,  what  else  could  I  do  ?  Anything  seemed 
better  just  then  than  the  thought  of  having  to 
endure  Hugh's  scorn  and  loathing  as  a  mon- 
ster of  cruelty,  or — which  was  even  worse — 
being  shunned  as  a  madwoman. 

It  was  hard  to  believe  that  the  girl  I  met 
at  the  breakfast-table  that  morning,  so  fair 
and  fresh  and  dainty,  could  have  possibly 
committed  that  cold-blooded  act  a  few  hours 
before. 

I  told  the  tale  she  had  suggested,  though 
it  sounded  lame  and  unconvincing  enough, 
and  I  feared  that  Mrs.  Maitland's  suspicions 
must  be  excited  by  my  manner. 

But  for  Evelyn  I  think  they  would  have 
been,  but  she  came  to  my  assistance,  as  she 


[66    %\)t  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls. 


had  promised,  and  after  the  first  well-feigned 
outburst  of  surprise  and  distress  and  pity,  she 
contrived  to  convince  the  elder  lady  that  the 
spaniel's  death  was  due  to  purely  natural 
causes,  and  to  make  her  understand  that  I 
was  not  well  enough  just  then  to  be  worried 
about  what  was  probably  a  painful  and  dis- 
agreeable experience,  and  so  the  matter  passed 
over. 

Mrs.  Maitland  had  not  heard  my  reckless 
warning  to  Hugh  about  the  danger  of  leav- 
ing the  dog  in  Evelyn's  hands,  so  that  she 
was  the  less  likely  to  see  any  significance  in 
its  speedy  death. 

I  was  not  present  when  Evelyn  told  Hugh. 
I  dreaded  lest  I  might  see  in  his  face  that  he 
suspected  me,  and  I  could  not  have  borne 
that. 

Still,  I  trusted  that  Evelyn  would  remove 
any  suspicions  he  might  have.  It  did  not  enter 
my  head  then  that  she  would  be  vile  and  false 
enough  to  encourage  or  much  less  suggest 
them. 

But,  as  the  days  went  on,  I  became  aware 


Slje  Statement  of  Stella  iUaberle-    167 


of  a  change  in  his  manner  to  me,  a  repressed 
aversion  which  he  had  certainly  never  shown 
before.  I  could  see  quite  plainly  that  he  dis- 
liked to  see  Evelyn  with  me,  though  he  might 
have  discovered  from  my  cowed,  spiritless 
bearing,  if  he  had  cared,  how  hateful  and  heavy 
I  found  my  yoke. 

I  knew  by  a  sort  of  instinct  that  she  was 
playing  me  false.  She  was  filling  his  mind 
with  lying  impressions,  and  I  was  determined 
to  find  out  how  much  she  had  told  him,  how 
far  he  believed  her. 

So  I  watched  my  opportunity  of  being 
alone  with  him,  and  then  I  challenged  him 
pointblank. 

"Mr.  Dallas,  I  have  noticed  that  you  have 
been  different  to  me  of  late.  Don't  trouble  to 
deny  it.  I  know  it  perfectly  well,  and  I  know 
the  reason.  Evelyn  has  been  saying  things 
against  me." 

"  Evelyn  is  not  given  to  speaking  or  think- 
ing unkindly  of  anyone  she  loves." 

"That  is  not  an  answer.  She  does  not 
love  me.     What  has  she  been  telling  you  ?  " 


i68   ©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg. 

"Why  do  you  harbour  such  thoughts? 
Don't  you  see  that  you  are  making  your  life  a 
misery  ?  " 

"My  life  is  made  a  misery,  but  not  by 
me." 

"It's  sheer  perversity,"  he  said.  "You 
could  conquer  these  ideas  of  yours  if  you  only 
made  an  effort,  but  if  you  insist  on  seeing  ene- 
mies in  those  who  care  for  you " 

"No  one  cares  for  me  now,"  I  said.  "You 
did  once,  or  thought  you  did  for  a  time,  until 
she  came  between  us." 

He  chose  to  ignore — perhaps  she  had  actu- 
ally made  him  forget — that  there  had  ever  been 
a  time  when  he  believed  that  he  loved  me. 
"That's  nonsense,"  he  said  shortly,  though  his 
manner  prevented  the  words  from  seeming 
brutal.  "  I  am  as  ready  to  be  your  friend  now 
as  ever  I  was — more  ready,  indeed ;  and  so,  as 
you  ought  to  know  very  well,  is  Evelyn, 
whom  you  are  doing  everything  you  can  to 
make  miserable." 

"  I  was  sure  of  it,"  I  cried.  "She  has  been 
talking  to  you  about  me!     Mr.  Dallas,  has  she 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttabcrlt).    169 

dared  to  tell  you  that — that  it  was  I  who  killed 
your  poor  Beau  ?    It  is  a  lie!  " 

"Good  heavens!"  he  exclaimed.  "Who 
accuses  you  of  any  such  thing  ?  Not  Evelyn 
—nor  I!" 

"But  you  suspect  me  of  it.  You  know 
you  do!  I  warned  you  that  he  would  not  live 
long  here.  And  it  was  in  my  room  that  he 
died!" 

"Was  it?"  he  said,  as  if  I  could  not  see 
that  he  knew  it  perfectly  well.  "I  did  not 
know.  And  if  so,  what  of  it?  There's  no 
earthly  reason  why  you  should  make  yourself 
unhappy  about  that — no  one  supposes  that 
you  are  responsible." 

"There  it  is!  You  don't  consider  me  re- 
sponsible for  my  actions!  Evelyn  has  been 
telling  you  I  am  not.  You  believe  that  I  am — 
mad/" 

He    made    a    gesture    of    angry    despair. 

"  How  you  twist  the  most  ordinary  words !     I 

do  not  believe  you  are  mad.     If  I  did,  it  would 

be  some  excuse  for  you.     But  you  are  quite 

able  to   control  yourself  if  you   only  choose. 
12 


i7°   ®t)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlp.. 

You  must  make  the  effort,  Miss  Maberly. 
Throw  off  these  morbid  fancies  of  yours  and 
you  will  see  Evelyn  as  she  really  is — a  loving, 
devoted  friend,  who  wishes  nothing  but  your 
happiness." 

His  tone  was  gentler  ;  he  looked  so  honest 
and  wholesome-minded,  so  manly  and  gallant, 
as  he  stood  there  that  I  could  not  find  it  in  my 
heart  to  hate  him  any  longer,  if  I  ever  had 
really  hated  him  for  his  faithlessness  to  me. 
I  could  not  even  despise  him  for  his  blind  be- 
lief in  her  ;  a  great  pity  came  over  me,  a  long- 
ing to  save  him,  if  I  could,  from  what  he  was 
drifting  to. 

"My  happiness!"  I  cried.  "Ah,  my 
God  !  if  you  knew — if  I  dared  to  tell  you — 
but  I  am  afraid.  You  would  not  listen  to 
what  I  said — you  would  only  tell  her  !  " 

"  If  there  is  anything  on  your  mind  which 
it  would  be  a  relief  to  tell  me,  you  may  trust 
me  not  to  speak  of  it — even  to  Evelyn." 

"  I  will  tell  you  !  "  I  cried  ;  "  I  can't  bear 
it  any  longer.  You  shall  know  what  this 
Evelyn  who  has  bewitched  you  into  loving 


®lje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberl||.     171 

her  really  is,  whatever  she  makes  me  suffer 
for  it." 

"That  is  enough,"  he  interrupted  sternly. 
"  I  thought  you  wished  to  tell  me  something 
that  concerned  yourself.  You  don't  suppose  I 
shall  listen  to  any  wild  charges  against  her. 
If  you  are  sincere,  and  really  believe  that  poor 
Evelyn  is  a  cruel  tyrant,  and  the  Lord  only 
knows  what  else,  why,  in  Heaven's  name, 
don't  you  free  yourself — why  do  you  stay  here 
at  Tansted  ?  " 

"  Because  I  must,"  I  said.  "  I  have  begged 
her  to  let  me  go  away,  but  she  will  not." 

"  I  will  undertake  that  you  are  allowed  to 
go  if  you  wish  it,"  he  replied.  "Anything 
would  be  better  than  this  wretched  state  of 
affairs." 

"  You  want  to  get  rid  of  me  !  "  I  said  bit- 
terly. "You  do  not  care  what  becomes  of 
me — it  is  nothing  to  you  that  I  have  nowhere 
else  to  go." 

"  You  need  not  be  afraid  of  being  turned 
out  into  the  world  to  shift  for  yourself,"  he 
replied.     "  Evelyn  would  see  that  your  future 


172    ®t)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlp. 

was  provided  for.  If  she  once  understands 
that  you  are  miserable  in  this  house,  and  that 
nothing  she  can  do  will  ever  overcome  the 
bitterness  you  have  allowed  yourself  to  feel 
towards  her,  she  will  agree  with  me  that  it  is 
better  for  your  happiness  that  you  should  leave 
her  as  soon  as  possible." 

It  was  humiliating,  weak,  inconsistent 
enough,  I  know,  and  yet  I  suddenly  recog- 
nised that  I  could  endure  anything,  even  the 
secret  torture,  the  consuming  fever  of  jealousy 
and  dread  and  impotent  hate  that  were  now 
my  portion,  rather  than  be  banished  from  the 
only  place  where  I  could  ever  see  and  speak 
to  Hugh  Dallas.  Besides,  where  could  I  go 
and  hope  for  peace  of  mind  ?  Where  could  I 
even  be  sure  of  being  safe  from  her  ? 

"Mr.  Dallas,"  I  said,  "  I— I  did  not  mean 
all  I  said  just  now.  I  will  try  to  behave  dif- 
ferently to  Evelyn,  if— if  only  you  will  not  say 
anything  to  her.  You — you  don't  know  what 
harm  you  would  do  me  if  you  told  her  that 
I  had  been  complaining." 

"I  will   say  nothing,"   he   replied,    "but 


(Etjc  Statement  of  Stella  iUaberlj).    173 

you  must  understand  this  :  I  will  not  have 
Evelyn  worried  and  distressed  by  any  more  of 
these  violent  scenes  and  reproaches.  Unless 
you  can  control  these  unreasonable  tempers 
and  make  a  better  return  for  the  affection  and 
forbearance  she  shows  you,  your  stay  here 
must  and  shall  end." 

"Make  your  mind  easy,  Mr.  Dallas,"  I 
said.  "You  have  shown  me  how  mistaken 
I  have  been.  I  shall  keep  a  stricter  guard 
over  my  tongue  for  the  future." 

"That's  right,"  he  replied  cordially;  "or 
rather,  keep  your  mind  from  brooding  over 
these  fanciful  wrongs  of  yours  and  you  won't 
need  to  curb  your  tongue.  There,  Miss  Ma- 
berly,  I'm  quite  sure  you  won't  oblige 
me  to  lecture  you  like  this  again — you  are 
going  to  be  sensible  ;  let  us  shake  hands 
over  it." 

"Yes,  I  am  going  to  be  sensible,  I  will 
give  no  more  trouble,"  I  said,  and  I  gave  him 
my  hand  and  he  held  it  in  his  firm  warm  one 
for  just  a  second  or  so,  and  I  turned  away 
with  an  aching  heart  at  the  thought  that  this 


174   ©be  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlj). 

calm,  friendly  interest  was  all  he  would  ever 
feel  for  me  now. 

I  had  done  my  best;  I  had  tried  to  warn 
him  of  his  danger,  and  it  was  useless.  If  I 
overcame  my  dread  of  Evelyn  and  attempted 
once  more  to  open  his  eyes,  I  should  only  in- 
cur his  anger  as  well  as  hers.  I  should  only 
be  rewarded  by  seeing  his  endeavours  to  drive 
me  away. 

He  would  not  let  me  save  him,  and  so  I 
could  only  leave  him  in  his  blindness.  For  the 
remainder  of  that  day  I  compelled  myself  to 
make  more  response  to  Evelyn's  simulated 
affection,  and  I  hoped  that  she  would  not  find 
out  my  attempt  to  defy  and  thwart  her. 

But  though  I  am  quite  certain  that  it  was 
not  Hugh  who  betrayed  me,  she  knew  never- 
theless, and  taunted  me  with  my  failure  that 
very  night  in  one  of  those  stealthy  visits  of 
hers,  which  thenceforward  made  me  dread 
the  approach  of  darkness  and  the  mockery  of 
lying  down  to  rest. 

For  she  would  come  almost  every  night 
now,  in  the  small  hours  before  daybreak,  and 


®lje  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls.    175 

sit  by  my  pillow  and  whisper  the  most  ap- 
palling threats  and  gibes  in  my  reluctant  ear. 
I  did  not  dare  to  lock  my  door  against  her, 
and  if  I  had,  I  knew  that  it  would  be  but  a 
vain  protection.  I  tried  to  close  my  ears,  but 
she  caught  my  hands  and  held  them  fast,  and 
I  was  forced  to  listen. 

She  would  tell  me  with  dreadful  triumph 
that,  though  I  was  sane  as  yet,  it  would  not 
be  long  before,  thanks  to  her,  I  should  be 
driven  across  the  narrow  line  that  still  divided 
me  from  madness.  She  would  declare  what  I 
had  been  hitherto  unaware  of,  and  do  not 
even  now  believe — that  my  own  mother  had 
died  in  a  private  asylum,  and  that  I  should  in- 
evitably come  to  the  same  end.  Or  she  would 
recall  every  act  or  speech  of  mine  during  the 
previous  day  that  was  capable  of  being  dis- 
torted into  evidence  of  mental  disease,  and 
gloat  over  my  progress  towards  insanity. 

Then  she  delighted  in  repeating  all  Hugh's 
tender  and  adoring  speeches  to  her,  and  every 
slighting  or  compassionate  remark  he  and 
others   had   made  about  myself.     And  other 


176    QL\)e  Statement  of  Stella  JHaberlp.. 

things  worse  still — things  the  stain  of  which  I 
would  willingly  wash  from  my  memory  if  I 
could — she  would  murmur  in  caressing  mu- 
sical tones  that  made  them  the  more  hideous 
to  hear. 

All  this,  as  she  openly  avowed,  was  de- 
liberately done  to  render  me  gradually  insane 
through  mental  anguish  and  loss  of  sleep,  and 
it  would  hardly  have  been  wonderful  if  her 
diabolical  scheme  had  succeeded,  and  if,  after 
a  night  of  relentless  persecution  such  as  this,  I 
had  indeed  broken  forth  the  next  day  in  some 
fashion  that  might  seem  madness  to  most 
ears. 

But  I  knew  how  fatal  that  would  be,  and  I 
was  resolved  not  to  gratify  her  hatred  by  any 
loss  of  self-command  that  I  could  possibly 
help.  No  one  but  myself  ever  knew  how 
near  I  came  to  it  at  times,  when  I  felt  the 
blood  surging  and  boiling  up  into  my  brain, 
and  the  control  of  speech  and  thought  slip- 
ping, slipping  away  from  me. 

It  was  hard  to  have  to  endure  Evelyn's 
falseness,  to  notice  the  ostentatious  pains  she 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.     *77 

took  in  public  to  humour  or  calm  me,  to  iso- 
late me  as  much  as  possible  from  local  society, 
while  secretly,  as  I  knew  only  too  well,  she 
was  encouraging  the  idea  that  my  mind  was 
unhinged.  When  I  went  amongst  people 
now  I  could  see  they  looked  askance  at  me. 
I  could  almost  hear  their  whispers,  and  I  was 
often  sorely  tempted  to  go  up  and  ask  them 
plainly  why  they  were  afraid  of  me,  and  give 
the  lie  boldly  to  the  rumours  that  Evelyn  had 
been  treacherously  spreading. 

Still,  I  resisted  all  such  impulses,  feeling 
very  certain  that  they  would  only  answer  me 
with  smooth  evasions  or  polite,  lying  denials, 
and  then  I  might  indeed  have  been  stung  into 
violent  passion,  which,  of  course,  would  be 
exactly  what  Evelyn  hoped  to  effect. 


VIII. 

The  day  fixed  for  the  wedding,  which  was 
to  be  early  in  September,  came  nearer  and 
nearer  ;  presents  poured  in  ;  arrangements  for 
feasting  Hugh  Dallas's  tenantry  and  the  Whin- 
stone  school  children  and  poor  were  discussed 
and  decided  on,  and  though  I  could  not  help 
being  aware  of  all  this,  I  remained  passive. 
Somehow  I  could  not  persuade  myself  that 
this  iniquitous  union  would  really  take  place. 

One  Sunday  morning,  however,  the  fancy 
seized  me  that  I  would  go  to  church  once 
more  and  try  whether  I  might  gain  some  little 
comfort  and  strength  to  endure  my  daily  and 
hourly  temptations  and  the  torture  of  my 
nightly  ordeal,  and,  for  a  wonder,  I  had  been 
allowed  to  go,  though  not  without  Mrs.  Mait- 
land  as  a  keeper  and  spy  over  me. 

For  a  time  the  familiar  rhythm  and  word- 
ire 


(El)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlg.     179 

ing  of  the  noble  liturgy,  the  rise  and  fall  of 
the  intoning,  and  the  hearty  ring  of  the  re- 
sponses, exercised  a  soothing  effect  upon  me  ; 
I  felt  safe  and  comparatively  at  peace,  content 
to  trust  the  future  in  the  hands  of  the  God 
whom  we  were  imploring  to  have  mercy 
upon  us,  and  who  seemed  so  near  and  so 
ready  to  listen  to  our  prayers  just  then. 

And  then  suddenly  I  heard  that  which 
roused  my  drugged  conscience  and  convinced 
me  that  action  and  not  weak,  cowardly  resig- 
nation was  required  of  me.  The  rector  was 
publishing  the  banns  of  marriage  between 
Hugh  Dallas  and  Evelyn  Heseltine  for  the  third 
time,  and  as  he  uttered  the  solemn  adjuration 
to  any  of  us  who  knew  cause  or  just  impedi- 
ment why  those  two  persons  should  not  be 
joined  together  in  holy  matrimony  to  declare 
it,  I  realised  that  this  appeal  was  addressed  to 
me  alone,  and  that  if  I  neglected  it  now,  I 
should  be  answerable  to  Heaven  for  my  si- 
lence. 

So,  the  moment  the  rector's  voice  ceased, 
I   rose.     "I  forbid  the  banns,"  I  cried.     "I 


180   ®|)e  Statement  of  Stella  jnaberlp,. 

know  of  a  cause  which  makes  this  marriage 
unholy  in  the  sight  of  God,  and  I  am  ready  to 
declare  it." 

The  rector's  face  assumed  a  look  of  con- 
sternation that  was  almost  ludicrous  ;  he  had 
only  just  been  appointed  to  the  living,  and 
probably  my  face  and  identity  were  as  yet  un- 
known to  him.  For  the  moment  he  seemed 
at  a  loss  what  to  say,  and  there  was  an  audible 
stir  and  murmur  among  the  congregation. 

At  length  he  said,  "  I  cannot  hear  you  now. 
Come  to  me  in  the  vestry  after  service." 

Mrs.  Maitland,  scarlet  with  flurry  and  dis- 
tress, was  plucking  at  my  cape,  and  I  sat 
down  quietly,  and  the  service  proceeded  as 
usual.  But  I  heard  nothing  of  it,  nor  of  the 
sermon  that  followed,  for  my  mind  was  occu- 
pied with  the  disclosures  I  was  pledged  to 
make,  and  the  effect  they  would  produce.  All 
too  soon  for  me  the  sermon  came  to  an  end, 
and  the  congregation  was  dismissed  ;  there 
was  the  scroop  of  the  benches  on  the  pave- 
ment at  the  back,  the  breath  of  cooler  air  as 
the  doors   were  opened,    the   clatter  of   the 


®l)c  Statement  of  Stella  fttaberlg.    181 

choir-boys'  boots  heard  above  the  tones  of  the 
organ.  All  eyes  were  turned  on  me  in  pass- 
ing, and  the  two  churchwardens  held  a  whis- 
pered conference  with  Mrs.  Maitland,  in  which 
I  gathered  they  were  advising  her  to  take  me 
away,  and  offering  to  make  some  explanation 
to  the  rector. 

I  refused  to  listen  to  her  entreaties  to  allow 
her  to  see  the  rector  privately  first,  or  accom- 
pany me  to  the  vestry,  and  when  she  saw  that 
I  was  perfectly  calm  and  determined  to  carry 
out  my  intention  unhindered,  she  gave  way. 
The  church  was  empty  now,  though  a  few 
inquisitive  persons  still  hung  about  the  porch, 
and  presently  a  little  round-eyed  chorister 
came  down  to  tell  me  that  the  rector  was 
ready  to  see  me;  so,  leaving  Mrs.  Maitland  on 
a  seat  in  the  chancel,  I  went  into  the  vestry 
alone. 

Canon  Broadbent,  the  rector,  was  a  church- 
man of  the  suavely  ecclesiastical  type,  portly 
and  of  goodly  height  and  appearance;  he  re- 
ceived me  with  a  grave  courteousness,  though 
I  could  see  that  he  was  displeased  and  anxious 


182    ®Jje  Statement  of  Stella  iRaberla- 


to  get  through  what  he  evidently  felt  would  be 
a  painful  interview. 

"  I  will  hear  anything  you  have  to  tell  me," 
he  began,  "though  you  must  see,  my  dear 
young  lady,  how  wrongly  you  have  acted  in 
disturbing  the  service  of  God  and  turning 
away  the  thoughts  of  his  worshippers.  Noth- 
ing but  the  gravest  necessity  can  justify  such 
conduct." 

"You  called  upon  anyone  who  knew  any 
cause  against  that  marriage  to  declare  it,"  I 
said.  "How  could  I  remain  silent,  knowing 
what  I  do  know  ?  " 

"Reverence,  common  decency,  should 
have  prompted  you  to  wait  for  a  more  con- 
venient occasion,"  he  said.  "However,  if 
you  were  really  impelled  by  some  overmas- 
tering sense  of  duty,  and  if  the  reason  should 
prove  sufficient,  you  may  be  held  excusable. 
But  let  me  warn  you  solemnly,  before  you  say 
a  word  of  what  you  have  come  to  say,  of  the 
wickedness  of  attempting  to  blast  a  young 
man's  character  and  future  by  any  charges 
which  you  are  not  fully  prepared  to  prove. 


©I)e  Statement  of  Steila  Jflaberls.    183 

Many  a  man  has  been  guilty  of — of  indiscre- 
tions, of  which  he  sincerely  repents  later, 
which  it  would  be  cruel  to  rake  up  against 
him  in  order  to  prevent  him  from  ever  lead- 
ing a  clean  and  reputable  life.  Think,  then, 
whether  your  motives  are  indeed  pure  and 
high,  or  whether,  in  accusing  him,  you  are 
influenced  by  some  mean,  unworthy  feeling 
of  which  you  should  feel  heartily  ashamed. 
And  if  conscience  tells  you  that  it  is  so,  let 
your  charge  remain  unspoken." 

"You  are  quite  mistaken,  Canon  Broad- 
bent,"  I  said.  "  I  bring  no  charge  against  Mr. 
Dallas.  For  all  I  know,  his  past  may  be  quite 
stainless — and  a  man's  record  would  have  to 
be  black  indeed  before  the  Church  would  re- 
fuse to  celebrate  his  marriage  with  the  most 
innocent  girl.  But  it  is  not  a  case  of  that  here, 
and  yet  I  begin  to  see  how  hard  it  will  be  to 
make  you  believe  my  story." 

"You  cannot  possibly  mean  to  imply  that 

Miss  Heseltine "  he  was  beginning. 

"I  tell  you  that  if  you  knew  who  and  what 
she  is  who  passes  as  Evelyn  Heseltine,  you 


184   &lje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls. 

would  be  the  first  to  say  that  this  marriage  is 
too  impious  and  blasphemous  to  be  sanctioned 
by  any  priest." 

"These  are  strange  words,"  he  said  un- 
easily. "I  would  gladly  hear  no  more,  but 
my  duty  compels  me  to  ask  you  to  explain 
them — if  you  can." 

"First  let  me  ask  you  a  question,"  I  said. 
"Do  you  believe  that  an  evil  spirit  may  be 
permitted  to  enter  into  a  human  body  ?  " 

"  Really,  really,"  he  said,  "  I  cannot  discuss 
such  a  subject  with  you — let  me  beg  you  to 
keep  to  the  point,  or  I  cannot  allow  you  to 
remain  here." 

"I  am  not  wandering  from  the  point — I 
am  coming  to  it.  Does  not  the  New  Testa- 
ment tell  us  of  devils  being  cast  out  of  men 
and  suffered  to  enter  a  herd  of  swine  ?  Is  that 
true,  or  false  ?" 

"We  must  not  apply  too  literal  an  inter- 
pretation to  what  is  figurative  or  mystic,"  he 
said.  "And  once  for  all,  1  decline  to  be  led 
into  these  unprofitable  arguments.  Do  you 
or  do  you  not  know  any  reason  which  renders 


$l)e  Statement  of  Stella  illaberlp..    185 

Miss  Heseltine — a  young  lady  who,  from  my 
slight  acquaintance  with  her,  seems  to  be  en- 
dowed with  every  good  and  endearing  qual- 
ity— an  unfit  person  to  contract  holy  matri- 
mony ?  And  by  reason — I  mean  such  reason 
as  the  law  of  the  land  would  compel  me  to 
recognise — anything  less  is  a  matter  which  I 
do  not  feel  called  upon  to  inquire  into,  which 
I  shall  refuse  to  listen  to." 

"  If  the  law  permits  a  man  to  go  through 
the  mockery  of  marriage  with  a  devil  incar- 
nate, a  fiend  in  human  shape,  will  the  Church 
perform  such  a  ceremony?"  I  said.  "I  de- 
clare to  you,  Canon  Broadbent,  as  I  hope  for 
mercy  and  pardon  hereafter,  that  the  real  Eve- 
lyn Heseltine  is  dead.  She  died  in  her  sleep 
weeks  ago,  and  the  body  she  has  put  off  for 
ever  is  now  inhabited  by  a  lost  soul,  some 
foul  and  evil  spirit  which  has  taken  her  form 
for  its  own  vile  purposes.  You  do  not  be- 
lieve me,  I  see  that,  and  yet  the  faith  you 
hold  bids  you  to  believe  that  such  things 
were  not  only  possible  but  actually  happened, 

not  once   but  again   and  again,  in  the  past. 
13 


1 86    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberin. 

Why  should  you  reject  my  story  now  as  in- 
credible?" 

He  shielded  his  face  with  his  hand  for  a 
moment  ;  when  he  spoke  again  his  voice  and 
manner  were  completely  changed.  "My  poor 
child,"  he  said,  "if  I  had  had  any  idea  of  this 
I  should  not  have  spoken  so  harshly.  I  pity 
you  from  my  heart.  It  is  dreadful  to  think 
that  you  should  be  haunted  by  such  a  delusion 
as  this.  Will  you  try  to  believe  me  when  I 
assure  you  that  it  is  nothing  more — it  is  sim- 
ply the  effect  of  ill-health,  a  disordered  imagi- 
nation, overwrought  nerves." 

I  saw  that  his  hand  was  shaking  and  his 
mouth  twitching,  that  he  avoided  looking  me 
in  the  face. 

"  I  am  not  ill,"  I  said.  "  I  am  as  well  as  I 
could  hope  to  be  under  such  persecution  as  I 
have  had  to  bear,  day  after  day,  night  after 
night.  And  my  mind  is  as  clear  as  yours, 
Canon  Broadbent.  I  think  my  nerves  are  the 
steadier  just  now.  I  did  not  come  to  you  for 
pity.  I  want  help,  counsel ;  have  you  none 
to  give  me?" 


©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg.    187 

"I  can  only  pray  for  you,"  he  said,  "pray 
that  God  may  see  fit  to  remove  this  cloud 
from  you.  But  you  yourself  must  do  some- 
thing, too,  to  prevent  these  ideas  from  preying 
upon  you.  Lead  as  active  a  life  as  you  can, 
try  to  take  up  some  pursuit — work,  play,  any- 
thing but  brood — and  by-and-by,  very  soon, 
I  trust,  the  sunshine  will  come  back.  You 
will  recover  your  mental  tone  and  see  how 
morbid  and  imaginary  the  terror  is  that  now 
seems  so  real  and  vivid." 

"All  words,"  I  said,  "empty  phrases.  Do 
you  really  suppose  they  can  help  or  comfort 
me  ?  I  loved  the  Evelyn  Heseltine  that  was — 
loved  her  dearly,  little  as  I  did  to  show  it.  Is 
it  likely  that  I  should  imagine  or  invent  this 
hideous  thing  about  her,  or  that  I  should 
loathe  and  dread  her  as  I  do  unless  I  had  been 
given  the  strongest  cause  ?  I  know  that  I  am 
under  no  mistake,  and  in  your  heart,  Canon 
Broadbent,  you  know  it  too.  You  do  believe 
my  story,  only  you  dare  not  admit  it,  for  fear 
of  the  consequences.  You  clergymen  are 
cowards  after  all.     When  you  come  upon  the 


1 88   ©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls. 


devil  you  profess  to  fight,  you  prefer  to  turn 
aside  and  let  him  go  his  way  unhindered  !  " 

He  did  not  attempt  to  answer  me,  but 
opened  the  door  that  led  into  the  chancel  and 
called  to  Mrs.  Maitland. 

"  I  think,"  he  said  to  her,  "  you  had  better 
take  your  friend  home  at  once,  and  if  you  have 
not  already  called  in  medical  advice,  it  might 
be  advisable,  if  this  mental  agitation  does  not 
pass  off  soon.  Poor  young  creature,  she  is 
greatly  to  be  pitied!  " 

He  had  lowered  his  voice,  but  I  heard  every 
word  distinctly. 

"I  am  indeed  to  be  pitied,"  I  said,  "when 
the  priest  who  represents  Heaven  here,  delivers 
me  over  to  the  powers  of  Hell." 

My  shaft  went  home,  I  know,  but  he 
merely  bowed  his  head  without  reply,  as  he 
accompanied  us  down  the  nave  and  through 
the  churchyard  to  the  gate,  where  our  carriage 
was  waiting  for  us ;  and  Mrs.  Maitland  and  I 
drove  back  through  the  deep  dusty  lanes  in 
silence,  for  both  of  us,  I  daresay,  felt  that  any 
speech  was  dangerous  just  then. 


©tje  Statement  of  Stella  jnaberlg.    189 


Evelyn  met  us  as  we  entered  the  house. 
"  How  late  you  are!  "  she  cried.  "  What  can 
have  kept  you  so  long?"  I  looked  her  full  in 
the  face,  and  I  saw  by  her  eyes  that  she  knew, 
or  at  least  guessed,  that  I  had  made  one  more 
attempt  to  defy  and  thwart  her. 

"We  are  late,"  I  replied  calmly,  "because 
I  forbade  your  banns  and  I  had  to  explain  my 
reasons  to  Canon  Broadbent  afterwards  in  the 
vestry." 

She  started,  as  if  my  courage  took  her  by 
surprise,  as  probably  it  did.  "I  don't  under- 
stand," she  said  innocently.  "Oh,  Stella, 
what  have  you  done  ?  I  can't  believe  it — you 
couldn't  have  done  this!  " 

"Ask  Mrs.  Maitland,"  I  said  as  I  passed  up 
the  staircase,  and  before  I  reached  my  room  I 
heard  Evelyn's  low  weeping.  What  could  I 
do  against  such  black  hypocrisy  ?  How  could 
I  hope  to  overthrow  an  adversary  who  had  all 
the  forces  of  the  world,  the  flesh  and  the  devil 
at  her  disposal  ? 

I  did  not  go  down  again  all  that  day,  and 
for  many  days  afterwards   I  kept  my  room. 


190    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls. 

The  reaction  after  the  scene  I  had  gone 
through,  the  sense  of  utter  failure  and  defeat, 
and  the  dread  of  the  consequences  proved  too 
much  for  my  strength.  The  doctor  came  and 
talked  oracular  platitudes  about  nervous  break- 
down and  the  necessity  of  absolute  quiet  and 
freedom  from  excitement  or  worry,  until  I 
could  have  screamed  with  rage  at  his  bland 
incompetence.  But  even  he  did  not  venture 
to  pronounce  me  mad,  for  Canon  Broadbent 
had  been  discreetly  silent  about  the  denuncia- 
tion I  had  made  in  the  vestry,  and  my  action 
in  forbidding  the  banns  was  no  doubt  ac- 
counted for  by  some  private  jealousy. 

I  knew  that  consultations  and  discussions 
were  going  on,  and  that  some  pressure  had 
been  put  upon  Evelyn  to  send  me  home  to 
my  family  or  have  me  placed  in  a  home  where 
I  should  be  under  supervision,  though  I  gath- 
ered that  she  had  insisted  on  my  remaining  at 
Tansted  for  the  present. 

She  was  more  perfidiously  affectionate  and 
attentive  than  ever;  she  paid  me  frequent  visits 
during  the  day,  and  studiously  avoided  any 


(pe  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.    191 

allusion  to  my  outbreak,  while  my  nights  were 
no  longer  made  a  misery  to  me  by  her  secret 
persecution.  I  almost  began  to  think  that  she 
had  relented  at  last,  seeing  how  completely 
she  had  triumphed  and  how  feeble  and  how 
powerless  I  had  now  become,  but  I  deceived 
myself. 

This  clemency  of  hers  was  only  apparent. 
She  knew  that  I  was  not  strong  enough  as  yet 
to  feel  the  full  effect  of  her  devilish  tortures, 
and  she  did  not  intend  to  lose  her  victim  until 
she  had  forced  me  to  witness  her  final  tri- 
umph. 

On  the  night  before  her  wedding-day  she 
came  to  me  once  more  in  her  bridal  attire,  so 
lovely  a  vision  that  I  was  dazzled  by  her  un- 
earthly beauty,  but  the  eyes  that  gleamed 
through  the  transparent  veil  were  as  baleful  and 
malignant  as  of  old,  and  the  soft  lips  dropped 
an  even  deadlier  venom  than  before  into  my 
poor  tortured  brain. 

For  she  talked  of  Hugh  ;  as  he  was  now — 
self-respecting,  wholesome-minded,  unsuspi- 
cious, hopeful  of  a  long  and  happy  married  life 


192    ®f)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlji. 

with  a  companion  who  was  his  ideal  of  good- 
ness and  loveliness  ;  and  what  he  would  be- 
come through  her — disillusioned,  perverted, 
degraded,  loathing  his  bondage  and  yet  un- 
able to  resist  her  power  over  his  senses,  ac- 
quiescing sullenly  and  cynically  in  his  own 
shame  and  disgrace.  She  hated  him  now,  she 
said,  because  he  had  loved  me  first,  and  might 
perhaps  come  to  love  me  again.  But  I  should 
never  profit  by  it;  after  to-morrow  he  would 
be  hers,  and  in  a  very  short  time  I  should  be 
a  prisoner  within  the  impassable  walls  of  an 
asylum,  with  lunatics  and  idiots  for  my  only 
companions,  and  love,  happiness,  hope  shut 
out  of  my  life  for  ever.  She  told  me  how  she 
would  bring  Hugh  to  see  me,  the  wreck  of  my 
former  self,  my  mind  shattered,  my  beauty 
perished,  and  how  he  should  learn  that  it  was 
love  of  him  that  had  made  me  thus.  And  she 
reminded  me  that  I  had  brought  my  misery 
on  myself ;  that  if  I  had  only  restrained  my 
groundless,  morbid  jealousy  of  the  girl  who 
was  dead,  if  I  had  only  interfered  when  there 
was  yet  time  to  prevent  her  from  taking  that 


Qtt\e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlij.    J93 

drug,  all  would  have  been  different.  Instead 
of  the  wretched,  unloved,  conscience-stricken 
woman  I  was  now,  I  should  be  lying  peace- 
fully asleep,  or  waiting  in  happy  wakefulness 
for  the  morning  to  break  which  would  bring 
my  wedding-day. 

There  was  more  than  this,  which  I  dare 
not  repeat,  and  nothing  I  could  say  would 
give  any  impression  of  the  awful  wickedness, 
the  ingenuity  of  cruel  invention  and  sugges- 
tion which  made  these  taunts  so  appalling.  I 
cannot  believe  that  even  the  guiltiest  sinners 
in  hell  can  be  subjected  to  worse  mental  tor- 
ment than  she  forced  me  to  endure  that  night. 
It  was  terrible  to  feel  that  I  was  the  object  ot 
such  a  deliberate  and  intense  hatred. 

At  last  even  her  malignity  exhausted  it- 
self for  the  time,  but  long  after  she  had  left  me 
I  lay  tossing  and  writhing  under  the  sting  of 
those  poisoned  whispers,  until  it  faded  out  in 
merciful  sleep,  and  the  dream  which  came 
to  me  was  not  frightful,  but  tender  and  pa- 
thetic. 

I   thought  that   Evelyn — the    real    Evelyn 


194    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jflaberlg. 

who  was  now  in  Heaven — came  and  sor- 
rowed over  me  and  comforted  me,  assuring 
me  that  she  understood  and  forgave  me,  and 
would  willingly  help  me  if  she  were  allowed. 
I  thought  she  told  me  not  to  despair,  that  evil 
would  not  triumph  for  ever,  or  perhaps  for 
long,  that  my  term  of  punishment  was  draw- 
ing to  an  end. 

And  1  woke  crying  for  joy  with  the  touch 
of  her  hair  upon  my  cheeks  and  the  pressure 
of  her  loving  arm  about  my  neck,  and  though 
I  knew  it  was  nothing  but  a  dream,  it  left  me 
strangely  strengthened  and  consoled. 

That  morning  was  to  see  Hugh's  marriage, 
and  yet  my  heart  was  lighter  than  it  had  been 
for  many  a  day.  I  found  myself  hoping  once 
more. 

As  the  hours  passed  I  heard  the  bustle  of 
preparation,  and  knew  that  Evelyn  was  being 
made  ready  for  the  ceremony,  that  she  would 
soon  follow  her  bridesmaids  to  the  church.  I 
believe  she  actually  came  in  to  see  me  before 
she  left,  but  I  feigned  to  be  asleep,  and  she 
went  away  softly. 


GL\)t  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberljj.    195 

Gradually  the  house  became  still  ;  most  of 
the  servants  had  probably  gone  to  see  their 
young  mistress  married  ;  the  nurse  who  at- 
tended on  me  had  gone  downstairs  after  lock- 
ing my  door,  as  if  she  thought  I  was  likely  to 
make  my  escape. 

It  began  to  strike  me  that  it  was  a  consid- 
erable time  since  I  had  heard  the  carriage  drive 
away.  Surely  before  this  the  wedding  bells 
ought  to  have  pealed  out — if  nothing  had  hap- 
pened to  interrupt  the  marriage. 

And  all  at  once  I  understood  what  this 
hope  was  that  had  come  to  me  so  unaccounta- 
bly. I  knew  that  it  was  not  without  some 
basis. 

There  were  things  that  even  devils  dare 
not  do.  I  remembered  that  Evelyn  had  not 
attended  church  for  some  weeks — not,  I  was 
almost  sure,  since  the  change.  Would  she 
venture  now  to  cross  the  threshold  of  God's 
house  ?  If  not,  her  terror  must  betray  her  as 
an  unholy  being,  even  to  the  most  incredu- 
lous. The  rector  would  remember  my  warn- 
ing ;  her  spells  would  be  broken. 


196   Qi\)e  Statement  oi  Stella  ittaberlp.. 

The  church  was  not  so  far  away  but  that 
the  bells,  when  rung,  could  be  distinctly  heard 
across  the  fields.  I  went  to  the  window  and 
leaned  out,  holding  my  breath  and  straining 
my  ears  in  the  direction  from  which  the  sound 
should  come.  I  heard  nothing  but  the  whirr 
and  click  of  the  reaping  machine  amongst  the 
corn,  the  calling  of  birds,  and  the  lowing  of 
cattle. 

I  waited  until  I  could  doubt  no  longer. 
Something  had  prevented  this  monstrous  mar- 
riage. I  fell  on  my  knees  and  thanked  God 
fervently,  entreating  His  pardon  for  having 
supposed  that  He  would  suffer  His  temple  to 
be  so  desecrated. 

And,  as  I  rose,  there  was  borne  on  the 
breeze,  faint  but  unmistakable,  the  ripple  and 
clash  of  wedding  bells. 

They  were  married.  She  had  entered 
God's  house,  knelt  before  His  altar,  and  He 
had  not  interposed.  Perhaps  there  was  no 
God,  and  if  there  were,  it  mattered  little, 
for  the  Devil  was  master  in  this  miserable 
world  ! 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlji.    197 

The  last  thing  I  was  conscious  of  that  day 
was  the  clang  of  those  triumphant,  derisive 
bells,  which  seemed  to  be  battering  my  brains 
into  a  throbbing  pulp. 


IX. 


There  was  an  interval  after  that  as  to 
which  my  memory  is  almost  a  blank.  I  can 
only  just  recall  a  long  confused  nightmare, 
through  which  I  was  making  the  most  super- 
human efforts  to  prevent  Hugh's  marriage, 
pursuing  him  and  Evelyn  to  the  furthest  ends 
of  the  earth,  always  on  the  verge  of  overtak- 
ing them,  always  hindered  by  every  conceiv- 
able obstacle  and  delay,  trying  to  rouse  every- 
one I  met  to  see  Hugh's  danger  and  help  me 
to  avert  it,  and  telling  my  story  over  and  over 
again,  and  then,  just  as  I  seemed  to  have  suc- 
ceeded, hearing  those  dreadful  bells  which 
told  me  that  it  was  too  late. 

This  must  have  gone  on  for  some  weeks, 
for  when  the  fever  left  me,  and  I  was  once 
more  able  to  notice  the  common  things  around 
me,  I  saw  that  the  roses  that  I  had  last  seen 

198 


®I)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberljj.    199 

climbing  round  my  casement  had  turned  to 
scarlet  pods,  and  the  buds  were  too  shrivelled 
and  nipped  to  unfold  themselves.  From  my 
window  I  looked  out  upon  a  late  autumn  land- 
scape of  russet  and  orange,  and  the  lawn  was 
littered  with  fallen  leaves,  and  the  paths  white 
with  hoar-frost. 

I  knew  I  must  have  had  a  long  illness,  but 
I  was  too  weak  and  my  mind  too  sluggish  as 
yet  to  make  any  effort  to  remember  what  had 
brought  it  on.  I  was  content  for  the  time  to 
lead  a  sort  of  animal  existence,  and  to  find  a 
negative  comfort  and  even  enjoyment  in  the 
little  luxuries,  the  trivial  incidents  of  convales- 
cence. 

And  then,  when  it  all  came  back — Evelyn's 
death  and  strange  resuscitation,  her  treachery 
and  malignity,  and  the  arts  by  which  she  had 
beguiled  my  lover  from  me — it  seemed  too 
fantastic,  too  unreal  to  be  anything  but  the 
perverted  imaginings  of  delirium. 

I  knew  that  Hugh  and  Evelyn  were  mar- 
ried, but  I  no  longer  cared.  My  passion  for 
Hugh  seemed  to  have  burnt  itself  out ;  even 


200   ®|je  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

my  terror  of  Evelyn  was  left  me,  or  so  at  least 
I  persuaded  myself. 

As  I  grew  stronger  I  asked  for  news  of 
them,  and  found  that  they  had  already  re- 
turned from  their  wedding  journey  and  were 
now  at  Laleham  Court. 

It  seemed  to  me  a  little  strange  that  Evelyn 
had  not  yet  come  over  to  see  me,  and  I  said  as 
much  to  Mrs.  Maitland,  and  told  her  how  I 
was  longing  to  see  her  again.  This  was  quite 
true,  for  I  was  anxious  to  be  quite  sure  that 
my  hallucinations  were  indeed  cured,  and  I 
could  not  be  that  until  I  met  Evelyn. 

Mrs.  Maitland  put  me  off  with  palpable  ex- 
cuses. It  was  better  that  I  should  not  see  Eve- 
lyn just  yet,  until  I  was  perfectly  strong  and 
well  again. 

"I  am  almost  well  now,"  I  said.  "I  am 
quite  able  to  see  her,  if  she  cared  enough 
about  me  to  come." 

To  this  Mrs.  Maitland  replied  that  Evelyn 
herself  had  not  been  strong  enough  to  go  out 
at  all  of  late. 

"Then  let  me  go  and  see  her,"  I  pleaded. 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.    201 


"Hugh  thinks  that  you  had  better  not 
meet  just  yet,"  she  said.  "He  is  quite  dis- 
tressed about  the  change  in  her— it  is  making 
him  absolutely  miserable." 

"You  are  keeping  something  from  me,"  I 
said  suddenly.  "Don't  you  see  that,  unless 
you  want  me  to  be  ill  again,  you  had  better 
be  quite  frank  ?  I  have  had  ideas,  strange, 
horrible  fancies,  about  Evelyn,  and  they  will 
never  quite  leave  me  until  I  see  her  again." 

"  My  dear,"  she  said,  "  I  think  I  can  guess, 
from  certain  things  you  talked  of  in  your  de- 
lirium, what  those  ideas  are.  You  seemed  to 
be  under  the  delusion  that  you  had  given  Eve- 
lyn chloral  on  some  occasion,  and  that  she  had 
died  of  it.  Surely  you  know  now  that  it  was 
all  a  dream — that  nothing  of  the  sort  ever  hap- 
pened." 

"Isn't  it  true,  then,  that  you  came  down- 
stairs that  evening  last  June  and  asked  me  if 
you  might  give  Evelyn  a  few  drops  of  the 
chloral  you  knew  I  had,  and  whether  it  would 
do  her  any  harm,  and  that  I  said  it  would  not? 


Did  I  imagine  that  ?  " 
14 


202    ®|)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

"No,  my  dear,  that  is  all  true.  I  thought 
she  seemed  excited  and  wanted  something  to 
make  her  sleep." 

"God  help  me!"  I  cried,  "you  have 
brought  it  all  back.  I  knew  that  chloral  was 
dangerous  to  anyone  with  a  weak  heart  ;  I 
had  read  it  in  some  medical  book,  and  I  let  you 
give  it  to  her,  and — ah,  I  remember  now!" 

"You  poor  thing!  and  you  have  been  al- 
lowing this  to  prey  on  you  when,  if  I  had  only 
known,  I  could  have  relieved  your  mind  at  once. 
Why,  my  dear,  you  have  nothing  to  accuse 
yourself  of.  The  fact  is,  I  never  gave  Evelyn 
any  chloral  at  all.  When  I  went  into  her  room 
she  was  already  dozing,  and  I  waited  until  she 
had  fallen  into  a  good  sound  sleep,  and  then  I 
put  out  the  lights,  and  came  away  without 
even  opening  the  bottle.  Luckily,  I  believe  I 
can  prove  it."  She  went  out  and  presently 
returned  with  a  small  fluted  phial.  "See,  here 
is  the  very  bottle,  with  the  cover  still  round 
the  stopper  just  as  it  left  the  chemist.  Now, 
my  dear,  I  hope  you  realise  that  you  have 
been  tormenting  yourself  for  nothing  at  all  ?  " 


QL\\e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg.    203 

"  If  only  I  had  known  this  at  the  time!  "  I 
cried.     "  Oh,  why — why  didn't  you  tell  me  ?" 

"Well,  Evelyn  told  you  that  morning  that 
the  bottle  was  in  my  keeping,  and  afterwards 
she  expressly  warned  me  not  to  mention  the 
subject  again  in  case  you  might  ask  me  to  give 
it  back  to  you.  We  both  hoped  you  had  for- 
gotten all  about  it.  Of  course,  dear  Evelyn 
had  no  more  idea  than  I  had  that  you  were 
brooding  over  it  like  this,  or  we  should  have 
put  it  right  at  once." 

The  good,  simple-minded  lady  was  under 
the  impression  that  she  had  set  my  mind 
entirely  at  rest,  whereas  she  had  only  suc- 
ceeded in  convincing  me  that  the  thing  which 
I  was  again  beginning  to  consider  a  delusion 
was  an  awful  reality. 

What  did  it  signify  that  the  chloral  had 
not  been  administered  ?  It  was  none  the 
less  true  that  I  had  found  Evelyn  dead  the 
next  morning,  that  in  my  madness  I  had 
invoked  some  hellish  spirit  to  save  me  from 
the  consequences  of  my  supposed  guilt. 

I  saw  now  how  I  had  been  tricked  and 


204    ®I)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

betrayed  from  the  first,  how  the  cunning 
fiend  had  used  my  confession  against  me, 
compelling  me,  in  self-protection,  to  serve 
her  wicked  purpose.  Perhaps,  even  if  I  had 
known  the  truth  then,  and  refused  to  ac- 
knowledge her  at  the  first,  the  result  would 
have  been  the  same,  but  at  least  I  should 
have  been  spared  the  load  of  needless  guilt 
and  shame,  the  humiliation  of  feeling  myself 
indebted  to  such  protection  as  hers. 

Ah  !  how  I  hated  this  merciless  devil  for 
all  the  wanton,  unnecessary  suffering  she 
had  made  me  endure,  and  how  it  maddened 
me  to  think  of  what  Hugh  Dallas  must  be 
going  through  by  this  time  !  If  I  had  been 
eager  to  see  them  before,  judge  how  in- 
tensely I  desired  it  now,  how  I  burned  to 
discover  for  myself  how  far  she  had  re- 
vealed her  true  nature  to  him,  and  how 
he  had  been  affected  by  so  terrible  a  dis- 
enchantment. 

But  I  have  considerable  power  of  self-con- 
trol when  I  choose  to  exercise  it,  and  I  knew 
how  necessary  it  was  for  his  sake  to  disguise 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlB.    205 


my  anxiety.  I  managed  to  make  Mrs.  Mait- 
land  believe  that  I  had  entirely  thrown  off 
what  she  would  have  considered  my  "de- 
lusion." Outwardly  I  was  quite  calm,  and  I 
was  soon  allowed  to  come  downstairs  and 
resume  my  share  in  the  quiet,  everyday 
routine  of  the  house,  working  and  reading 
and  walking  with  Mrs.  Maitland  as  I  had 
once  done  with  Evelyn. 

I  discovered  that  she  and  Hugh  were  living 
at  Laleham  Court  in  the  strictest  seclusion  ; 
no  callers  had  succeeded  in  seeing  her  since 
her  return  ;  it  was  understood  that  her  health 
was  not  strong  enough  to  allow  her  to  accept 
invitations,  and  he  himself  was  said  to  be  too 
much  concerned  about  his  wife  to  leave  her, 
except  when  absolutely  compelled  by  his 
duties. 

To  me  all  this  was  full  of  sinister  signifi- 
cance, and  only  heightened  the  suspense  in 
which  I  lived  ;  but  I  bided  my  time,  feeling 
certain  that,  sooner  or  later,  Hugh  and  I 
would  meet,  and  the  first  glance  at  his  face 
would  tell  me  all  I  longed  to  know. 


206   ®|)e  Statement  of  Stella  JttaberlB. 

And  one  afternoon  I  was  told  that  he  was 
in  the  drawing-room  and  wished  to  see  me, 
and  though  my  heart  leapt  wildly  at  the 
news,  and  my  head  swam  at  the  thought 
that  I  was  really  to  see  him  at  last,  really 
to  have  an  answer  to  the  fear  that  gave  me 
no  rest,  I  went  in  and  met  him  with  perfect 
self-possession. 

How  woefully  he  had  changed  ;  there  was 
a  grey  pallor  on  his  face  that  made  him  look 
prematurely  old  and  haggard,  his  eyes  had  an 
expression  of  suppressed  despair,  his  manner 
was  restless  and  nervous — it  was  only  too 
plain  that  already  the  iron  had  entered  into 
his  soul,  and  that,  if  possible,  he  was  as 
wretched  as  I  ! 

And  yet,  stricken  and  changed  as  he  was, 
the  sight  of  him  revived  the  old  mad  passion 
which  I  thought  was  dead.  I  loved  him 
more  intensely  and  devotedly  than  ever — I 
would  have  died  for  him  willingly  if  my 
death  could  give  him  back  all  this  fiend 
had  robbed  him  of ! 

The  beginning    of  our   conversation   was 


(Elje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberls.    207 

commonplace  and  conventional  enough.  He 
said  he  was  glad  to  find  that  I  had  so  com- 
pletely recovered  from  my  illness.  I  replied 
that  I  was  perfectly  well  now,  but  was  sorry 
to  hear  such  unfavourable  accounts  of  Eve- 
lyn. 

I  watched  his  face  narrowly  as  I  spoke,  and 
saw  a  spasm  come  across  it  at  her  name. 

"  I  am  unhappy  about  her,"  he  said,  "  more 
unhappy  and  anxious  every  day.  I  can  hardly 
speak  of  it.'' 

"  Do  you  think  I  don't  know  how  terribly 
you  are  suffering?"  I  said  gently.  "Do  you 
think  I  don't  feel  for  you  ?  " 

"God  knows  it  is  hard  !"  he  said  with  a 
half  groan,  "when  I  look  back  on  what  she 
was,  and  what  I  hoped  she  would  be,  and 
know  what  I  can't  help  knowing,  struggle 
against  it  as  I  may.  And  I  am  so  helpless,  so 
utterly  powerless  to  keep  this  misery  from 
coming  upon  me  !  I  can  only  wait,  and  feel 
there  is  no  hope.  She  talks  sometimes  as  if 
we  were  to  be  together  for  many  years  to 
come,  and  it  is  almost  more  than  I  can  bear. 


2o8   (Elje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg. 

The  irony  of  it  all  !  But  I  didn't  mean  to 
speak  of  all  this.  I — I  have  a  message  to  you 
— from  her.  She  is  very  anxious  to  see  you 
again.  I — I  had  to  promise  I  would  tell  you, 
and  bring  you  back  with  me,  if  you  feel  able 
to  come." 

What  new  device,  I  wondered,  had  she 
invented  to  torture  me  ?  I  could  see  that  he 
only  delivered  the  message  with  the  greatest 
reluctance,  as  if  he  would  have  spared  me  if 
it  had  been  in  his  power.  "I  will  gladly 
come,"  I  said,  "if  you  wish  it,  if  you  think  I 
can  be  of  use  to  you." 

"I  did  my  best  to  dissuade  her,"  he  said. 
"  I  was  afraid  of  the  consequences  if  I  let  you 
see  her  just  now.  But  she  has  so  set  her 
heart  on  seeing  you  that  I  dared  not  risk  re- 
fusing her.  And  now  I  have  seen  you,  I  can't 
think  there  is  any  danger.  Only,  you  must 
promise  me  that  you  will  say  nothing  to — to 
disturb  her — above  all,  you  must  not  let  her 
know  that  I  have  spoken  to  you  like  this. 
Can  I  trust  you  ?  Are  you  quite  sure  that  you 
can  depend  on  yourself?" 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlj}.    2°9 

His  voice  shook  with  an  anxiety  he  dared 
not  confess  in  words.  I  knew  well  that  it 
was  not  for  himself  he  feared,  and  it  touched 
me  more  than  I  can  say  to  feel  that  he  could 
think  of  me  just  then. 

"  You  need  not  be  afraid  on  my  account," 
I  said.  "  I  can't  explain  it,  but  I  feel  as  if,  in 
some  way  I  don't  understand  at  present,  I 
shall  be  able  to  help  you  by  this  meeting — 
perhaps  even  free  you  from  this  awful  shadow 
that  is  darkening  your  life." 

"It  is  too  late  for  that,"  he  said  sadly. 
"When  you  see  her  you  will  understand 
what  little  hope  there  is  for  me.  Can  you 
come  with  me  now  ?  I  have  the  phaeton 
here,  and  it  need  not  take  you  very  long  to 
get  ready." 

In  a  few  minutes  more  we  were  in  the  car- 
riage together  on  our  way  to  Laleham.  Nei- 
ther of  us  spoke  much,  or  except  on  ordinary 
topics  ;  it  seemed  as  if  we  both  shunned,  by 
common  consent,  any  further  reference  to  the 
subject  that  was  really  engrossing  our  thoughts. 

But  to  me  there  was  an  exquisite,  pathetic 


210   &t)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberlg. 

happiness  in  being  with  him,  and  knowing 
that,  though  he  could  not  tell  me  so  in  words, 
he  understood  me  now  as  he  had  never  done 
before,  that  we  were  drawn  to  one  another 
by  the  fellowship  of  secret  suffering.  And  all 
the  way  I  was  racking  my  brain  to  find  some 
means  of  delivering  him.  I  felt  prepared  to 
run  any  risk,  make  any  sacrifice,  if  only  I  could 
induce  the  evil  spirit  to  give  up  her  prey  ;  and 
yet  what  arguments,  or  threats  or  prayers  that 
I  could  use  would  have  any  effect  upon  her  ? 
I  saw  how  unlikely  it  was  that  I  could  prevail 
against  such  an  antagonist,  but  nevertheless  I 
looked  forward  to  the  contest  without  fear, 
with  even  a  strong  hope  that  I  might  be 
enabled  to  find  some  vulnerable  place  in  her 
armour. 

Hugh  drove  fast,  and  it  was  still  quite  light 
when  we  entered  the  gates  of  a  park  and 
reached  the  stately  Elizabethan  house  which 
was  Laleham  Court. 

As  soon  as  we  were  inside,  he  led  the  way 
up  a  wide  staircase  and  along  a  corridor  to 
Evelyn's  sitting-room. 


®he  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg..    211 

She  was  lying  on  a  couch  near  the  fire,  and 
the  face  she  turned  to  us  as  we  entered  told 
its  own  tale.  All  the  softness  and  girlishness 
had  gone  from  it;  there  were  circles  round  the 
eyes,  which  glittered  with  a  strange  brilliance; 
her  cheeks  were  sharpened  in  outline  and 
sunken,  the  mouth  had  a  hard,  drawn  look. 
It  was  terrible  to  see  how  soon  the  evil  soul 
had  set  its  impress  on  the  features  that  had 
once  been  so  fair. 

She  had  not  lost  her  old  malicious  pleasure 
in  torturing  me  by  mock  endearments.  ' '  Dear- 
est Stella,"  she  began,  "  I  have  thought  of  you 
so  often  and  longed  to  come  over  and  see  you 
— but  they  would  not  let  me.  So,  as  soon  as 
I  heard  from  Aunt  Lucy  that  you  were  quite 
well  again,  I  insisted  on  Hugh's  bringing  you 
here.  I  have  been  ill  myself,  as  I  daresay  you 
know,  but  I  am  ever  so  much  better  now — 
only  rather  weak  still.  I  really  believe  poor 
Hugh  fancied  he  was  going  to  lose  me  at  one 
time,  but  I  tell  him  I  am  not  so  easily  got  rid 
of.  I  am  much  too  fond  of  Laleham — and 
perhaps  a  little  of  him  too — to  bear  to  give  it 


2i2    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg. 


all  up  just  yet.     I  mean  to  live  for  years  and 
years  to  come." 

I  glanced  at  Hugh,  whose  face  she  could 
not  see,  and  the  agony  I  read  there  wrung  my 
heart. 

"  I  am  glad  you  sent  for  me,"  I  said  quietly. 
"I  have  been  wishing  to  see  you  too  for  a 
long  time.  We  have  a  great  deal  to  say  to 
one  another." 

"Yes,"  she  said,  "a  great  deal.  Hugh, 
you  won't  mind  leaving  Stella  with  me  for 
half  an  hour,  will  you  ?  It  is  so  long  since  we 
have  had  a  real  talk!" 

"I  think,"  he  said  slowly,  "  I  had  better 
stay  and  see  that  you  don't  tire  yourself." 

"What  nonsense!"  she  exclaimed,  with  a 
touch  of  anger.  "lam  not  an  invalid  now, 
and  it  won't  tire  me  to  talk  to  Stella." 

"Then,"  he  said,  with  a  forced  playfulness, 
"I  will  stay  to  protect  Miss  Maberly— she  has 
been  ill,  too,  remember." 

"Can't  you  see  that  you  are  not  wanted  ! " 
she  said.  "Hugh,  how  dense  you  are  get- 
ting !     I  insist  on  your  leaving  us  to  our  two 


QL))t  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlp.    213 

selves  at  once.  I  tell  you  I  wish  it — and  you 
know  how  dangerous  it  is  to  refuse  me  any- 
thing I  have  particularly  set  my  heart  on  !  " 

"Go,"  I  whispered,  as  he  still  seemed  to 
hesitate,  "you  will  only  do  harm  by  oppos- 
ing her.  You  need  not  be  afraid  to  leave  me 
here." 

"You  will  not  forget  my  warning?"  he 
replied  in  an  undertone,  "you  will  be  careful, 
will  you  not  ?  " 

"You  may  trust  me,"  I  said.  "I  am 
not  the  weak,  unstrung  creature  I  used 
to  be." 

"I  daren't  thwart  her  now,"  he  said,  half 
to  himself  ;  "and,  after  all,  what  possible  dan- 
ger  ?"     He  went  up  to  Evelyn  and  kissed 

her,  which  I  knew  he  would  not  have  done 
but  for  his  anxiety  on  my  account.  "  There," 
he  said,  "you  shall  have  your  own  way.  I'll 
leave  you  for  a  little  while,  but  remember  I 
shall  be  within  call,  if  you  want  me." 

This  last  sentence,  as  I  perfectly  under- 
stood, was  really  meant  for  my  ear.  He  ob- 
viously suspected  that  she  had  some  evil  object 


214    ©l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iftaberlg. 

to  gratify,  and  wished  me  to  feel  that  help  was 
at  hand. 

"He  thinks  I  can't  possibly  get  on  long 
without  him  ! "  she  exclaimed,  with  a  mock- 
ing little  laugh,  "but  I  knew  Stella  before  I 
knew  you,  my  dear  Hugh,  so  you  mustn't  be 
too  conceited,  and  now  go  down  to  your  own 
den,  and  don't  come  back  until  you  are  sent 
for." 

He  looked  searchingly  at  me  once  more, 
and  then,  seeing  that  I  remained  quite  calm 
and  mistress  of  myself,  he  went,  though  I 
fancied  that  he  still  had  misgivings. 

There  was  no  need,  for  I  felt  absolutely 
unafraid,  as  if  in  some  way  the  spell  that  Eve- 
lyn had  exercised  over  me  all  those  wretched 
weeks  had  been  broken. 

As  soon  as  he  had  gone  I  turned  to  Evelyn 
and  fixed  my  eyes  steadily  on  her  face. 

"lam  wondering  what  you  want  with  me 
now,"  I  said  quietly.  "What  made  you  send 
him  to  fetch  me  like  this  ?  " 

"What  reason  could  I  have?"  was  the 
smooth,   false    answer,    "except   that   I    was 


H\)c  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.    215 


longing  to  see  you  again,  dearest  Stella,  and 
satisfy  myself  that  you  were  quite  strong  and 
well  again  ?  " 

"Yes,  I  am  strong  now,"  I  said.  "You 
cannot  torment  me  any  longer  as  you  used  to 
do.  I  know  at  last — what  you  cunningly  kept 
from  me — that  I  never  was  the  murderess  by 
proxy  you  taunted  me  with  being — that  the 
chloral  was  never  given." 

She  started.  "The  chloral?  why,  of 
course  it  was  not,"  she  cried.  "Oh,  Stella, 
can't  you  forget  all  those  dreadful  ideas  ? 
Don't  you  understand  how  incapable  I  am  of 
tormenting  or  taunting  you  now  ?  I  am  sure 
you  wouldn't  wish  to  distress  me  by  talking 
like  this,  when  you  see  that  I  am  not  quite 
strong  enough  to  bear  it  yet !  " 

"  You  are  trying  to  delude  me  again,  to  put 
me  off  my  guard — but  you  will  not,"  I  said. 
"lam  not  to  be  deceived,  even  though  you 
look  like  a  woman  who  is  dying  fast.  I  know 
very  well  you  will  not  die  yet." 

"Die!"    she    repeated    with    a    shudder. 
"Oh,  no,  no.     I  can't  die  now — not  so  soon. 


216    JElje  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlj). 

I  won't  die.  Life  is  so  beautiful.  I  couldn't 
leave  Hugh!" 

"Do  you  mean,"  I  said,  "that  you  love 
him— -you  !  " 

"Do  I  love  him  ?  Better  and  better  every 
day  I  live!" 

"You  did  not  love  him  when  you  be- 
witched him  into  caring  for  you.  You  meant 
to  drag  him  down  to  your  level,  and  delight  in 
his  degradation.  Now  you  have  discovered 
that,  though  you  may  break  his  heart,  blacken 
and  befoul  all  that  he  held  fair,  you  cannot  de- 
base him — his  nature  is  too  high  for  that. 
And  so  you  have  ended  by  loving  him,  when 
his  own  love  is  dead,  changed  to  loathing  and 
hate.  Yes,  you  have  been  caught  in  your  own 
devilish  snare.  The  life  you  snatched  at  so 
greedily  has  become  a  worse  hell  than  that  you 
escaped  from.  There  is  a  God  after  all,  and 
He  is  punishing  you  here  in  the  world  where 
you  have  no  right!  " 

"Stella!"  she  cried,  trembling,  "I  cannot 
let  you  say  these  violent  things  to  me — they 
are   horrible   and    untrue.     Please,    please  go 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberis.    217 

away  if  you  can't  be  kind  and  gentle.     You 
are  making  me  ill.     Have  you  no  pity  ?  " 

"What  pity  had  you  on  me?"  I  said. 
"You  came  between  Hugh  and  me,  you  took 
him  away  from  me,  did  your  best  to  wreck 
his  life  and  mine.  If  it  is  in  my  power  now 
to  make  you  suffer  in  your  turn,  why  should  I 
spare  you  ?  " 

There  was  a  small  mirror  lying  on  a  table 
close  by,  and  I  took  it  up  and  held  it  before 
her.  "Look  in  this,"  I  said.  "Is  that  the 
face  that  bewitched  Hugh  ?  The  face  is  what 
the  soul  makes  of  it,  and  even  in  this  short 
time  yours  has  begun  to  betray  you.  You 
boasted  that  your  beauty  would  keep  him  your 
slave  in  spite  of  all  he  knew,  and  see,  even 
your  beauty  is  changing,  passing,  perishing. 
Soon  the  terrible  signs  he  has  learnt  to  read  in 
those  lines  and  hollows  will  be  written  more 
plainly  still,  so  that  none  can  mistake  their 
meaning.  Will  that  be  better  than  death 
itself?" 

She  pushed  the  mirror  away  with  a  pas- 
sionate gesture.     "  I  don't  want  to  look,"  she 
15 


218   ®l)e  Statement  oi  Stella  Jttaberls. 

cried.  "I  know  I  am  altered,  but  I  am  not 
going  to  die,  and  Hugh  loves  me,  he  does, 
whatever  you  may  say.  Why  should  I  care  ? 
Only  that  you  should  be  so  cruel  to  me,  Stella, 
just  when  I  thought — it  is  that  that  almost 
breaks  my  heart! " 

Her  grief  was  so  naturally  feigned  that  for 
the  moment  I  myself  felt  a  prick  of  shame  and 
compunction,  as  though  it  were  some  tender 
innocent  creature  that  I  had  been  hurting,  and 
not  a  corrupt  and  subtle  spirit,  baffled  and  in 
desperate  straits,  but  still  capable  of  evil. 

"  If  I  seem  cruel,"  I  said,  "I  have  a  mo- 
tive. I  want  to  make  you  see  how  worthless 
this  life  is  you  cling  to  so  desperately,  that, 
though  you  may  not  die,  your  life  will  only 
become  a  greater  burden  and  misery  every 
day  you  live.  If  you  really  and  sincerely 
loved  Hugh,  you  would  prove  it  by  setting 
him  free.  Who  knows  that,  if  you  volunta- 
rily quit  this  frame  and  return  to  your  former 
state,  there  may  not  be  mercy  and  pardon  for 
you,  even  now  ?  What  possible  attraction 
can  there  be  in  such  life  as  yours  ?  " 


©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberls.    219 

"Life  is  sweet,"  she  replied.  "I  may 
never  be  what  I  was,  I  may  not  have  long 
to  be  here,  but  I  want  to  live  as  long  as  pos- 
sible." 

At  the  words  a  sudden  idea  came  into  my 
mind.  I  saw  at  last  a  means  of  saving  Hugh. 
"You  wish  to  live  ?"  I  said.  "  Suppose  you 
were  offered  not  only  life,  but  health,  strength, 
the  beauty  you  value  so  much,  on  one  condi- 
tion— would  you  accept  it  ?  Listen  to  me.  I 
love  Hugh,  as  you  know,  but  I  am  willing 
never  to  see  him  again,  to  forfeit  all  hope  of 
happiness  here,  and,  for  all  I  know,  hereafter, 
if  only  I  can  feel  that  I  have  freed  him  from 
you  for  ever.  You  say  you  love  him — but  it 
is  life  you  really  love,  you  dread  going  back 
to  what  you  were.  This  is  my  proposal: 
To-night,  before  the  clock  has  struck  twelve, 
I  promise  that  I  will  find  some  means  of  pass- 
ing out  of  this  body  for  ever,  leaving  it  for  you 
to  enter,  provided  that  you  undertake  to  aban- 
don your  present  form  and  never  seek  to  en- 
tangle Hugh  in  any  way  whatever.  Do  you 
agree  ?  " 


220    ©Ije  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlQ. 

She  gave  a  sort  of  hysterical  sob.  "  Stel- 
la," she  cried,  "you  can't  be  in  earnest, 
surely  you  know  that  what  you  are  saying  is 
sheer  madness  ?  " 

"Oh,  I  am  not  mad,"  I  said.  "  You  used 
to  threaten  to  drive  me  into  an  asylum — but 
you  could  not.  I  am  perfectly  reasonable,  I 
am  not  proposing  anything  that  is  impossible. 
If  you  were  able  to  reanimate  one  dead  body, 
you  can  surely  take  possession  of  mine  after  I 
have  left  it.  And  it  is  young  and  strong  ;  it 
will  live  for  years,  you  will  gain  by  such  an 
exchange.  Once  more  I  ask  you— do  you  ac- 
cept my  terms  ?  " 

She  looked  wildly  all  round  her,  panting 
like  a  thing  at  bay.  "  What  am  I  to  say  ?" 
she  cried.  "Yes,  yes,  I  accept— I  agree  to 
anything— anything! " 

"  Will  you  swear  to  me,  by  the  Power  you 
serve,  that  you  will  abandon  this  body  to- 
night, and  that,  as  Stella  Maberly,  you  will 
trouble  Hugh  no  more  ?  " 

"  Have  I  not  said  so  ?  "  she  asked  hoarsely. 
"  Now  you  are  satisfied — leave  me." 


St)*  BtcUnunt  of  Stella  Jflaberlg. 


221 


Something  in  her  manner  excited  my  sus- 
picions. "  How  can  I  be  sure  that  you  are  not 
tricking  me  ?  "  I  said.  "  Perhaps  even  this  ill- 
ness of  yours  is  only  some  cunning  device. 
What  if  I  kept  my  part  of  the  compact  and  you 
broke  yours  and  lived  on,  to  torture  Hugh  and 
mock  at  me  for  being  fool  enough  to  imagine 
any  oath  had  power  to  bind  you  ?  I  believe 
you  mean  treachery — I  see  it  in  your  eyes! " 

"Oh,  no,  no!"  she  cried,  wringing  her 
hands.  "Indeed,  indeed  I  am  not  treacher- 
ous. Don't  frighten  me  any  more,  Stella,  only 
go  now! " 

It  occurred  to  me  that  there  was  an  easy 
way  of  putting  her  to  the  test.  "Why  should 
we  wait?"  I  said.  "Why  should  we  not 
both  kill  ourselves — here — now?" 

"  Not  yet,"  she  said,  "  how  can  we  ?  We 
have  no — no  weapons." 

"  Did  I  not  see  some  Oriental  swords  and 
daggers  on  the  wall  in  the  corridor  outside  as 
I  came  here  ?  "  I  asked. 

"Yes,"  she  cried.  "  You  will  find  them 
at  the  end  of  the  passage.     Bring  two,  or — I 


222   f£,\)z  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlp. 

know  where  they  are — let  me  go  and  fetch 
them." 

I  laughed.  "  Liar!  "  I  said,  "  there  are  no 
weapons  hanging  there.  I  said  it  to  try  you. 
I  know  what  was  in  your  mind;  you  would 
have  locked  yourself  in  here,  or  rushed  down- 
stairs and  given  the  alarm." 

She  sank  into  a  seat,  trembling.  "  It 
doesn't  matter,"  I  said.  "I  know  what  I 
wanted  to  know.  I  have  changed  my  mind. 
My  plan  that  we  should  both  commit  suicide 
was  absurd — I  see  that  now.     I  give  it  up." 

Her  face  relaxed.  "  I  was  sure  you  would 
see  how  impossible  it  was,"  she  said  faintly 
and  with  difficulty. 

"I  do  see  it,"  I  agreed.  "You  would 
never  have  killed  yourself ;  you  refuse  to  re- 
lease Hugh,  you  mean  to  go  on  torturing  and 
maddening  him  as  you  tortured  me  for  years. 
But  you  shall  not.  When  I  came  here  I 
thought  that,  being  a  fiend  in  human  form, 
you  could  not  be  killed.  But  if  that  was  so 
you  would  not  be  afraid  of  me — and  you  are, 
you  are!    So  I  am  going  to  try.     Call  for  help 


®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iHaberlg.    223 

if  you  like — it  will  be  useless.  Both  these 
doors  are  bolted  and  locked,  and  I  have  the 
keys." 

She  opened  her  dry  lips  as  if  to  scream  for 
help,  but  her  voice  seemed  paralysed  by  fear, 
for  no  sound  came  from  them  as  she  crouched 
there,  with  her  great  eyes  fixed  on  me  and 
her  hands  pressed  close  against  her  heart. 
Suddenly  she  made  a  spring  towards  the  bell- 
rope,  but  I  was  too  quick  for  her.  Before  she 
could  reach  it  I  seized  her  slender  neck  with 
both  my  hands  and  forced  her  back  upon  the 
couch,  gripping  her  throat  with  all  my  might 
— harder,  harder,  and  harder  still,  until  she 
ceased  to  resist. 

Up  to  that  moment  I  had  not  been  certain 
that  any  force  of  mine  could  drive  this  devil 
forth  against  her  will,  and  half  expected  that 
she  would  escape  and  mock  me  after  all,  but  I 
felt  armed  with  irresistible  strength  just  then, 
and  soon,  sooner  than  I  expected,  the  thing 
was  done. 

As  I  relinquished  my  hold  and  the  form 
sank  down   in  a  huddled   heap  among  the 


224    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stella  iflaberljj. 

cushions,  I  had  a  vision  of  a  shape,  with  a 
wicked,  beautiful  face,  that  was  not  Evelyn's, 
distorted  with  impotent  rage  and  terror  and 
despair,  which  stood  there  in  the  waning  light 
and  seemed  to  be  striving  to  revenge  itself 
upon  me  before  it  fled  to  its  doom,  and  I  own 
that  for  one  dreadful  instant  I  was  in  deadly 
fear. 

And  then,  just  as  I  gave  myself  up  for 
lost,  the  shape  appeared  to  quiver  and  melt 
away  into  nothingness,  and  I  was  alone  with 
Evelyn's  dead  body. 

I  raised  it  gently  and  arranged  the  cushions 
under  the  head,  so  that  she  lay  as  if  asleep, 
exactly  as  she  had  lain  that  summer  morn- 
ing ;  the  face  was  calm  and  pure  and  sweet 
once  more,  the  very  face  of  the  girl  I  loved. 
"Do  you  understand?"  I  whispered,  as  I 
bent  over  her  and  kissed  her  softly  on  the 
forehead.  "The  evil  thing  has  left  you  for 
ever,  you  poor,  innocent  clay.  Sleep  in 
peace,  for  you  are  all  Evelyn's  now  ! " 

Then  I  went  out,  and  half  way  down  the 
corridor  I  met  Hugh. 


©be  Statement  of  Stella  itlaberls.    225 

He  seemed  glad  to  see  me  safe  and  un- 
harmed. "I  was  just  coming  up  to  carry 
you  away,"  he  said.  "I  was  getting  anx- 
ious, but  I  might  have  known  I  could  trust 
you.  There  is  nothing  wrong  ?  "  he  added  ; 
"she — she  is  not  worse  ? " 

"No,  no,"  I  said.  "She  is  well,  quite 
well  now.  Hugh,  dear,  dear  Hugh,  all  this 
long  misery  is  over  for  you  and  for  me  ! 
I  was  determined  to  free  you  from  the  hor- 
ror that  has  been  hanging  over  you  if  I 
could — and  God  has  helped  me,  Hugh  ;  it 
is  gone — gone  for  ever  !  " 

He  could  not  believe  it  at  first.  "  Gone  !  " 
he  cried.     "  What  do  you  mean  ?  " 

"Go  to  her,"  I  said  gently,  "and  you  will 
understand." 

I  saw  him  rush  to  the  door  of  her  room 
and  go  in,  and  then,  feeling  that  he  must 
be  left  to  himself  just  then,  I  went  down  the 
staircase  and  into  a  big  hall  which  seemed 
to  be  used  as  a  morning-room. 

I  could  not  rest,  I  paced  up  and  down  in 
a  kind  of  mystical  exaltation  ;   the  old   por- 


226   &!)£  Statement  of  Stella  Jttaberlg. 

traits  in  ruff  and  doublet  looked  down  on 
me  with  grim  approval  from  the  walls,  the 
armorial  shields  in  the  oriel  window  glowed 
like  blood  in  the  last  gleams  of  the  sunset. 
I  heard  bells  being  rung  furiously,  hurrying 
footsteps,  cries,  and  commotion,  but  no  one 
came  near  me,  and  though  I  still  felt  no  re- 
morse and  knew  that  I  had  only  done  what 
was  just  and  righteous,  I  began  by  degrees 
to  be  afraid  of  the  solitude  there  in  the 
slowly  darkening  hall. 

I  wanted  to  see  Hugh,  to  hear  him  thank- 
ing me  for  his  deliverance,  vowing  to  prove 
me  guiltless  in  the  eyes  of  all  the  world,  to 
stand  by  me  to  the  last.  When  once  I  had 
seen  that  in  his  face,  as  I  did  not  doubt  I 
should,  the  others  might  condemn  me  as  a 
murderess,  imprison  me,  take  my  life,  and  I 
should  not  care — I  should  have  had  my  reward. 

At  last  I  could  not  bear  to  be  alone  any 
longer;  I  felt  I  must  go  to  Hugh.  The  old 
house  had  settled  down  into  a  dead  stillness 
that  yet  was  not  quiet — only  a  breathless  wait- 
ing for  something  that  was  about  to  happen. 


Slje  Statement  of  Stella  fflaberla-    227 

I  passed  into  the  entrance  hall  and  met  a 
footman  coming  down  one  of  the  passages 
with  a  lighted  lamp.  He  started  as  he  saw 
me,  his  face  went  white,  and  he  nearly  dropped 
the  lamp  for  terror  ;  he  had  not  been  at  the 
door  when  I  arrived,  and  probably  imagined 
that  I  was  a  ghost. 

"  Where  is  your  master  ?  "  I  said.  "  I  am 
Miss  Maberly,  and  I  wish  to  see  him." 

"Mr.  Dallas  is  in  the  library,  miss,"  he 
answered  ;  "but  he  doesn't  wish  to  be  dis- 
turbed just  now.  I  was  bringing  in  this 
lamp,  but  he  told  me  to  take  it  away  and 
leave  him  alone." 

"He  will  see  me,"  I  said ;  ' '  show  me  where 
the  library  is." 

He  put  down  a  lamp  and  led  the  way  to  a 
door,  which  he  tried  to  open.  "It's  been 
locked  since  I  went  in,"  he  said.  "Perhaps 
you  haven't  heard  that  there's  trouble  in  the 
house,  miss,"  he  added  in  a  lowered  voice. 

"I  know,"  I  replied.  "But  Mr.  Dallas 
will  open  the  door  to  me.  That  will  do,  you 
can  go." 


228    ®l)e  Statement  of  Stdla  Jflaberis. 

I  knocked  softly  at  the  door.  "  Hugh,"  I 
said,  "I  am  here — Stella — won't  you  let  me 
in  ?  " 

And  there  was  silence  for  a  moment, 
though  I  thought  I  heard  him  moving  as  if 
to  open  the  door,  and  then  a  terrible  sound 
rang  out  within  the  closed  room — the  report 
of  a  pistol — and  I  knew  that  my  sacrifice  had 
been  in  vain. 

•  ••••• 

Here  this  statement  shall  end.  I  have  had 
much  to  undergo  since  ;  indignities  of  every 
kind,  confinement,  long  and  purposeless  ex- 
aminations, odious  charges  and  misconstruc- 
tions, and  then  the  mockery  of  mercy  which 
consigned  me  to  the  place  where  I  am  now, 
and  where  I  suppose  I  shall  remain  till  death 
releases  me. 

But  why  should  I  write  of  it  all  ?  Nothing 
seems  worth  resenting,  telling,  remembering 
even,  that  followed  the  terrible  moment  when 
I  realised  that  Hugh  had  deserted  me,  leaving 
me  to  bear  my  penalty  alone. 

What  led  him  to  do  so — in  the  very  hour 


(Elje  Statement  of  Stella  ittaberlg.    229 


of  regaining  his  freedom,  and  when  he  must 
have  known  that  he  was  the  one  person 
whose  evidence  could  have  placed  my  con- 
duct in  its  true  light — I  do  not  understand.  I 
never  shall  understand  here. 

But  I  have  never  blamed  him ;  I  feel  cer- 
tain that  he  could  never  have  been  a  coward, 
or  intentionally  disloyal  and  ungrateful  to  the 
woman  who  had  risked  everything  for  his 
sake.  It  is  far  more  probable  that  the  evil 
spirit  which  hated  me  contrived  to  avenge  her 
defeat  by  some  last  effort  of  devilish  malignity. 

And,  whatever  the  explanation  may  be,  I 
know  that  Hugh  will  make  it  all  clear  to  me 
himself  some  day,  when  we  are  re-united  and 
nothing  wicked  and  malevolent  can  come  near 
us  any  more. 

And  so  I  am  seldom  unhappy,  even  in  the 
daytime ;  while  the  night  no  longer  brings  ter- 
ror with  it — but  only  consolation  and  peace. 

For  although,  whenever  I  dream  at  all,  I 
am  back  at  Tansted  once  more,  somehow  it  is 
always  those  days  of  early  June  that  I  live  over 
again  in  the  old  garden  and  house ;  the  Evelyn 


230    &lje  Statement  of  Stella  fttaberls. 


whom  I  find  there  is  my  dearest  friend,  and 
the  perfect  sweetness  of  our  intercourse  is 
never  marred  by  any  haunting  half-conscious- 
ness of  misery  and  horror  to  come. 

This  is  a  mercy  which  I  know  I  do  not  de- 
serve, and  for  which  I  trust  I  am  not  ungrate- 
ful, and  yet  I  long  impatiently  for  the  day 
when  all  suspense  and  uncertainty  and  be- 
wilderment will  end,  and  I  shall  rest  and  un- 
derstand— for  I  am  very  weary  of  waiting. 


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